Unapologetically Sensitive

Managing Emotional and Physical Dysregulation Jen and I both got triggered, and Jen talks about what it felt like physically to be dysregulated.  She talks about the wound of "Is it safe to be me? Will I be rejected?" and how she worked with those parts.  Jen shares 13 things she did to be present for herself and help calm her nervous system. Jen also has a beautiful reframe of "Why is this happen...

Many people are feeling tired these days! In spite of the mess in the world, Jen and I talk about ways to find joy, pleasure, connection, AND honor the big feels.  We provide resources for activism, support and validation as well as things you can do to help self-regulate. GUEST Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC GUEST BIO Jen Perry, MSEd, MA, LPC has been a psychotherapist for 20 years. She specializes in...

Do you get nervous before you travel (especially if it's to a new place, or a foreign country)? I'm paddling for 14 days in Baja, and I'm nervous. How can you feel the fear or anxiety, AND walk through the discomfort to gather information so you can live a more expansive life? I talk about learning to roll in my kayak, and the fears that are coming up for me, AND the exhilaration of being able to...

Let's Talk About Small Talk There may be more to the concept of small talk ; even if the words small talk make you cringe.  Jen and I talk about reciprocity in conversation. Is the topic interesting to you? Is this a one-way conversation? What messages do you tell yourself if you're feeling bored, or you're too tired to make the conversation work? We each give specific examples of how this shows u...

Managing Criticism and Disappointment It's not uncommon for the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) to have big reactions and big feelings sometimes—especially when it comes to feeling misunderstood, feeling criticized, and feeling disappointed. Jen talks about how you can use mindfulness to get curious about the stories you tell yourself.  We both share stories where we each experience this, and how we...

My Insides and Outsides Didn't Match, but Now They Do Emily had a change in mindset and learned to plant things around her that nourished her. When talking about being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP), she says, "I really value experiencing life this way." Emily took the Online HSP Course, and said, "I didn't expect to relate so deeply to a diverse group." Being in a group of peers helped Emily cul...

Can Dogs Learn to Talk? Maizy (my puppy) is learning to press buttons to tell me what she wants, and how she is feeling! I share how we got started, and I give resources for other pets that are using buttons, and how you can get started. Jen and I talk about attuning to your animals, and how this relates to our reålationships with people. We talk about how Maizy has generalized the use of words th...

Self-Care When You're Overwhelmed It can be hard to start tasks and complete them when you're overwhelmed.  Jen and I talk about strategies that work for us.  We also talk about the importance of pleasure and rest vs. having to do all the hard stuff before you treat yourself to a reward.  Jen talks about looking at who's telling the story when you have a gremlin (I started the episode feeling I wa...

It Was Like a Spa for My Mental Well-Being Erika, who is also a therapist, took the Online HSP Course before the Pandemic started. She wanted to find connection and learn strategies to manage better as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP).  She talks about using self-compassion—especially when she needs to honor how she is wired—even though it's easy to compare herself to the other 80%. We talk about h...

Showing up Messy When you have high standards for yourself, it can be very difficult to show up imperfectly, and it's easy to go into self-blame. Unfortunately, this usually comes at a cost. Jen and I talk about how to make the shift from focusing on external expectations (and fear of judgment), to focusing internally on what you want and what you are able to give. We talk about the gifts of self-...

Sometimes It's Hard Being Me Even if you're having times when you feel "meh," or you're having fears, anxiety, imposter syndrome, or you're not feeling confident, you can still show up and do what's in front of you. It's ok to struggle and have hard times, but what you tell yourself about these times is crucial. I share about some current struggles, and I talk about specific tools you can use when...

Overwhelm & Perfectionism as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) Do you wake up with anxiety because you're worried or feeling overwhelmed? How do you find joy around your to do list? Jen and I talk about where we feel overwhelmed, and the imperfect ways we manage perfectionism.   Jen says it's like stringing beads with no knot at the end.   We explore how trauma may impact our need for piles, being a...

How to Deepen Intimacy in Relationships  Many Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) overperform in relationships, or want more depth, but don't know how to do that. Jen and I talk about our gremlins, as well as how you can rest in the attachment in your relationships, so you can have more depth. We talk about how that security is achieved. This includes vulnerability and risking the loss of the relations...

Being Present to our Wounded Parts Jen had a really tough week, & we talk about what it was like for her to start week feeling like she was too much, & her needs were too much. I was honored to be present for her this week, and she was able to work on healing that young part so she can be present for herself.   When your parents can't attune with you, you believe that you and your needs are too mu...

Honoring Yourself and Using Your Voice Do you find that when have been hurt or disappointed that you have your feelings alone, and don't share with the other person how you were affected? If you ask someone to help you, and they say, "No," but it's important to you, do you explain why it's important or do you just accept the "no?"  I share specific examples of this happening to me, and how I commu...

Getting Grounded and Orienting to Yourself Many Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) learn to focus on everyone else's needs. The focus is external instead of internal. You don't learn how to focus on your perspective, your body, or your needs.  This can be an orientation injury. The Highly Sensitive Person can see multiple perspectives, and based on your attachment patterns, this can make it harder (or...

Naming What's Challenging as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) I suck at lying! I'm planning a surprise party for my husband, and I've been like a deer in the headlights a few times. I also talk about feeling disappointed that I had expectations about my puppy being affectionate, and she's not. I talk about how you work with naming what's hard and challenging in order to honor your feelings, while c...

Focusing on Your Needs, Emotions and Happiness Jen Perry talks about attachment patterns and how the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is often focused on what everyone else is feeling, wanting and needing. We talk about tools to identify what YOU are wanting.   Jen talks about self-care and self-centering.   We talk about self-talk, as well as the burden of the mental load that many of us carry. We a...

Setting Boundaries with Emotionally Immature People Dr. Lindsay Gibson, author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, and Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents provides a 5-part process outlining how to set boundaries with an Emotionally Immature Person (EIP). She also talks about how to reinforce and reset those boundaries when they aren't honored. Dr. Gibson talks about how to...

Death by a Thousand Papercuts My computer was hacked and they downloaded files from my computer.   In the midst of this awful experience, there were a number of gifts and amazing connections with people.   I feel some shame and embarrassment.   How can you thrive while going through something terrible? I talk about the fears that came up, as well as all the grace that was given to me.   The multit...

Softening, Surrendering, Accepting & Allowing This episode focuses on being with whatever is going on to ease suffering when you want things to be different than they are. How can you accept things when it sucks? Jen and I talk about how we practice softening when things are hard. Jen talks about how she drops into her body to get information.   How can you use noticing to ease tension and control...

Practicing Self-Compassion when Perfection, Competing Needs and Burnout are Present It can be hard having needs; not getting your needs met; having to compromise around your needs.   This can activate attachment injuries, that can cause or exacerbate depression, anxiety, burnout and self-doubt. How do you take care of yourself? How do you bring in self-compassion and self-trust? Do you believe tha...

Stoicism During Hard Times for the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) When there is a crisis, do you reach out and share what's going on and ask for support? Do you tell yourself that you will worry when there is something to worry about?   I share some recent experiences.   My son asked me to let him know next time if his Grams is sick because he wants to know.   I thought I was protecting him from wo...

We (HSPs) are Not Too Much, with Susan Kraker - Best of the Podcast Susan is a therapist who specializes in relationships, and she works with the Highly Sensitive Person. She decided to take the Online HSP Course because she didn't have many friends who were also Highly Sensitive. We had a rupture during one of the groups, and we talk about this. Susan has some astute observations.   We both talk...

Getting Grounded in Yourself & Honoring Your Needs Jen and I talk about how wounding can create over-functioning, over-responsibility, and rigidity at the expense of the human. We talk about stress responses and how to be more mindful and present for yourself while also bringing self-compassion. We literally take a break and do a short grounding exercise to get present. When you feel like you're n...