Unapologetically Sensitive

Exploring Identity, and Turning Toward Yourself in Affirming Ways   Jen and I touch on so much in this episode: challenges setting boundaries; structure vs. the need for novelty (ADHD vs. autism), attachment injuries and bids for connection; the challenges and gifts of hard conversations; what neuro-affirming therapy looks like; PDA and focusing on others to reduce demands; masking; what comes up...

Real Talk on Health Challenges: Speaking FOR Your Parts vs. Speaking FROM Your Parts   Jen and I talk about the difference between complaining, speaking honestly about what's going on, and the other person's capacity to sit with things that they may feel they need to fix or change. Many of you have been told that you complain too much or that you're too negative. Neurodivergent brains tend to repo...

Getting from Here to There When You've Lost Your Routine   How do you get back in a groove after you've gotten out of it? We often assume we can jump back in, but sometimes it's harder than that. I also talk about getting consent in relationships before giving feedback and advice. Attuning to the other person is the best gift you can give someone. This means dropping your agenda. I also talk about...

Attachment Injuries, Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Self-Care Jen and I discuss attachment wounds and using an Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework. We talk about the difference of speaking for our parts vs. speaking from our parts. We talk about overperformance, the pressure to show up and masking, and the importance of feeling seen and heard in relationships. We talk about unpacking an aut...

The Power of Showing Up: Embracing Imperfection and Struggles with PDA and RSD   Jen and I discuss our struggles with showing up and doing life even when it's hard. We model grace and vulnerability, reminding you that it's okay to not have it all together. The conversation touches on topics such as PDA, rejection-sensitive dysphoria RSD, and the pressure of gift-giving. We also discuss the importa...

Navigating Autism and PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy)   I discuss being diagnosed Autistic with a PDA (pathological demand avoidance) profile. I express frustration with the DSM criteria for ADHD and autism, as I don't see myself in the criteria. I highlight the common misdiagnosis of PDA as oppositional defiant disorder in children, emphasizing the need for a d...

Building Trust in Neurodivergent Setting s: Overcoming Group Apprehension Ellie and Patricia highlight the importance of creating inclusive spaces that foster trust, comfort, and collaboration for neurodivergent folks. They discuss the benefits of tailoring curriculum to individual and group needs. This episode also touches on the depth and organic nature of group conversations, and the role of pe...

Neurodivergent Insights: Navigating ADHD, Autism, PDA, and Communication   Jen and I discuss the challenges of living with ADHD, Autism and PDA, including communication difficulties and perception of reality. We talk about how these show up for us differently, and how we navigate some of the challenges. I also share about disclosing to my MD about being autistic, and how that was received. We also...

Redefining Success for the Neurodivergent   Jen and I discuss the concept of success and how it is often measured by neurotypical norms. We challenge these measures, and explore alternative ways to define and measure success for the neurodivergent. We emphasize the importance of authenticity, having hard conversations, and embracing imperfection. We also discuss the value of uncertainty and not kn...

Navigating Relationship Bumps: Whose Stuff is This?   Once again, I had a bump in a relationship, and I got to see that I had a part in it. Our fear of rejection, abandonment, or someone getting angry with us, can prevent us from having difficult conversations. We minimize our feelings for fear of being too sensitive. When we do this work enough, eventually, remaining silent, no longer works. I go...

Navigating Competing Needs in a Relationship Jen & I talk about having competing needs while I was visiting her, and what came up for me, and how we navigated having uncomfortable feelings. We look at this through the lens of neurodivergence (Autism, HSP, ADHD and PDA). We also explore the difficulty I had as a neurodivergent person assessing if I had a good time on the trip or not. We also look a...

When Your Stuff Bumps Up Against Your Friend's Stuff How do you navigate feeling hurt in a relationship, and the other person doesn't understand (or realize) that you have been hurt? What do you do when the other person thinks you want space, but you feel hurt, and that's not what you need, but you think the other person is distancing from you? Is it ok to text or email someone when you feel hurt...

Navigating Change: How to Stay True to Yourself While Traveling Travelling and being a guest in someone's home can be challenging due to change: adjusting to new routines, and being out of your routine. I spend a week with Jen, and we talk about checking in with each other, and my need for structure, and Jen's lack of structure. We talk about structure vs. flexibility, and as an autistic, how do I...

Navigating Executive Dysfunction: Managing Busy Minds Managing appointments, schedules and life can be challenging when you've got ADHD, AuDHD, or simply challenges with executive functioning. Jen and I talk about our struggles and the things that work for us. We talk about what may be more neuroaffirming. We also talk about the challenges of getting advice, or working with someone who doesn't und...

Friendships Can Be Bleeping Hard! Friendship struggles are real! How does being neurodivergent or specifically autistic impact friendships? Common themes of being misunderstood in spite having good intentions, and allowing others to see you in ways that are not how you see yourself. I talk about navigating breakups, not being able to do repair after a rupture, and using these painful experiences t...

Neurodivergence & Autism: Navigating Challenges in Relationships We explore the challenges of maintaining friendships for people who are neurodivergent (AuDHD, autistic, HSP etc.) We emphasize the importance of emotional intelligence, empathy, active listening, open communication, patience, setting boundaries, and forgiveness in building and maintaining meaningful relationships. CO-HOST Jen Perry,...

AFAB Autism Assessment: PDA, and other Common Questions Answered Dr. Jessica Myszak, who provides autism assessments for late-diagnosed, high masking women answers the following questions: What is PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Persistent/Pervasive Drive for Autonomy)? What does PDA look like? What is important to ask if someone wants to pursue a formal autism diagnosis? What are common com...

Autism, Relationships & PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Pervasive Drive for Autonomy The challenges people have maintaining relationships can be related to relational trauma, PDA, the desire for consistency and/or adherence to high or unrealistic expectations. PDA is a profile of autism, and people with PDA may have no problem making friends, but they may have difficulty keeping them. Can so...

AFAB Autism Assessment: Common Questions Answered Dr. Jessica Myszak, who provides autism assessments for late-diagnosed, high masking women answers the following questions: How does autism present differently in women? Is self-diagnosis valid? Why haven't the lived experiences of women been included in the diagnostic criteria? What might social differences, repetitive and stimming behaviors look...

Emotional Intelligence in Relationships: Honoring Neurodivergent Needs and Communication Styles How do you center yourself in relationships when you're being told you're difficult to be around, or people stop communicating with you? How do you navigate ambiguous communication? I go on a rant because I was feeling frustrated. I talk about neurodivergence and my experience being autistic. I also exp...

Not Feeling Good Enough: Self-Criticism, Healing and Vulnerability We talk about the origins of feeling not good enough, and even if you understand why you feel this way, you still may be stuck.   At the end, Jen and I have a tearful moment that is bursting with vulnerability sharing something we have never talked about before. We talk about our own rigidity, inflexibility and having high expectat...

Navigating Difficult Conversations: Communicating Honestly in Relationships Being assertive with medical providers can be hard; does one disclose an autism diagnosis? I discuss the importance of vulnerability, as well as the challenges of transparency and balancing honesty and privacy. My birthday came with expectations and disappointments, and some unexpected healing. I explore the challenges of...

D isentangling from Emotionally Immature People Dr. Lindsay Gibson, discusses her most recent book, and she offers practical strategies, reflective exercises, and tips for dealing with emotionally immature people (EIPs). We explore topics such as understanding emotional immaturity, healing from emotional immaturity, and developing emotional maturity. We discuss the importance of self-care, self-co...

Empowerment in Vulnerability: Becoming the Heroine of Your Story This episode includes wanting people to intuit what you want without having to ask; struggling with having to ask for what you want; not being chosen, and how to turn this around; identifying who your people are; assessing what others have to offer in relationships instead of assuming that you're the one with the deficits. We also ta...

Expressing Feelings When Systems Fail and Frustrate Us I had a meltdown after reaching my frustration limit. Jen & I discuss how to discharge frustration, while navigating inefficient systems. What prevents us from speaking up, and our concern about how we are perceived. How to advocate for yourself, and get support from others, especially when you're dysregulated. How do you stay grounded and foc...