Two Star Podcast

In which our heroes bring down Facebook. Dan categorises all food into Vegan and Non-Vegan, Adam wanks on about Data Protection and Chris buys a new sofa made of hummus.

In which our heroes explore veganism and terrorism, perform a comparative ethnography of Friends and revel in the snow.

In which our heroes perform an offensive radio play, discuss cream teas (again), and Chris goes insane whilst editing it all.

In which our heroes plan for the pornpocalypse by developing niche fetishes, serve notice to Ruddy William, talk about films and TV for ages and are sick in a Wetherspoons.

In which our heroes suffer from the Mandella effect. Adam laments the lack of televised penises, Dan does some cooking, Chris talks about some of his favourite episodes from Friends and Graham freestyles a diss track about David from Birmingham with surprisingly adequate results.

In which our heroes plan the first strike in Graham’s podcast insurgency. Dan gets down and dirty with the girl scouts, Adam gets into dirty videos and Chris just gets dirty in a toilet.

In which our heroes are interviewed to figure out just what the fuck they’ve been up to lately.

In which our heroes use a new recording platform, Chris gets taken into public ownership, Graham fails to reignite enthusiasm for the podcast war and they invent an excellent game (if you were in the same school and year as them).  There is a hidden easter egg of Adam being intermittently bothered by a cat.

In which our heroes learn about Blockchain. Adam talks about Jeff Bezos, Graham talks about a precocious 11 year old boy, Dan says something about millennials and Chris goes on about San Andreas for ages as if it’s episode 28.

In which our heroes replace one Chris with another, explore Graham’s South-African-dar again, Graham talks quite a lot about boy bands, we discuss B*witched’s discography and discuss the shameful state of consumer technology.  There is also beaver carnage.

In which our heroes look back on the year that was and make bold predictions about the year that will be. Can you believe we’ve been doing this nonsense for 3.5 years? The internet has a lot to answer for. See you all in 2018!

In which our heroes continue their annual tradition of drinking too much and talking for too long. They discuss a woman biting off a man’s bollock, try and get onto the dark web and conduct Dan’s sexual harassment tribunal. Then Chris & Graham record a sort of Hollyoaks Later extension in which a huge amount of ethnic slurs are used.

In which our heroes accidentally become genuine DnD nerds and there is a horrifying betrayal…….

In which our heroes are fucked up on gin. William from Suffolk is the esteemed guest. They try to do some maths and are generally incoherent.

In which our heroes start some fires and battle monsters; the monsters inside themselves, the monsters we all must face. Also actual monsters.

In which both Adam and Graham are away so Daniel is trusted with the buttons, Chris tries yet again to seduce him and they tackle the big issues like how to enjoy chocolate and which limb to amputate.

In which our heroes sneak into a house. Graham & Dan dress up as sexy ladies and seduce a guard, Gemma make some other guards laugh and Chris dies, comes back and sits in jail.

In which our heroes give up on trying to record a Dungeons & Dickheads episode and coerce a drunk Chris into buying a new computer.

In which our heroes get into a bar fight. Dan does some tedious admin, Chris tries again to shit himself and Gemma & Graham drink way too much gin and don’t remember the latter half of the recording.

In which our heroes contend with yet more IT problems. Graham detects South Africans from afar, Chris tries to get Graham to open up about a [REDACTED] experience with a [REDACTED] and Dan has horrendous actions from his past unearthed.

In which our heroes spoil the joke. Dan nerds out about spaceships, Adam rants about Twitter, and the long forgotten remnants of Chris echo throughout the podcast.

In Which Graham and Gemma share a microphone, Gemma has a sex dream, Daniel leaves our heroes to escape from prison and Christopher plays a secret game for the amusement of Christian from Scotland.   Christopher then kills a guard in a very troubling way and then they all go to the pub. Bard music is by Jack Wright, https://youtu.be/h-RIsgsmN1M

In which our heroes contend with shitty internet, award twinkle points, mock Dan for crap content and dream wondrous dreams

In which our heroes are given their quest. Graham sweet-talks some guards, Dan begins a life of crime, Gemma swears a lot and Chris fails to shit himself.

In which our heroes create their characters, which takes quite a long time and is quite boring. But we do some hilarious bants and that, so it’s defo worth listening.