Two Star Podcast

In which our heroes resurrect an episode long thought dead, but in doing so sacrifice Graham to the dark gods of hotel internet.  We also talk about computer games and shit.  There’s a lovely surprise in there too!

In which our heroes learn about made up meals. Graham chooses bionic enhancements for his penis, Adam slanders a teacher and Chris recalls the time he shit his pants in a shop.

In which our heroes escape. Dan returns to talk about wanking, Graham bids for project work and Adam talks about gnomes.

In which our heroes solve terrorism. Graham dismisses Chris’ wine drinking, Chris dismisses Graham’s gin drinking and Adam gives thanks to Jesus that he doesn’t have to provide Chris with technical support.

In which our heroes yet again fail to record anything resembling a podcast.  Adam repays his debt to society, Graham disrespects other peoples sensitive information (AGAIN) and Christopher contemplates the moral maze of accidentally acquired children and boy monkey weeing.  Also, face crabs.

In which Christopher solves his computer problem.  Adam recalls his (obviously homo-erotic) dream about Graham.  Graham offends many women and Christopher with his crude language and everyone agrees on plans for white genocide. PLUS – we launch an exciting listener competition.

In which our heroes suffer Chris problems. Chris is absent for the first 8 minutes despite being present, Graham talks about shitting a lot and Adam segues from bell ends to bell curves.

In which our heroes are joined by David from Birmingham whom they try to doxx again, as well as discussing problematic neighbours and deciding what kind of post-Brexit dystopia they’d prefer

In which our heroes are joined by Brandon who teaches them about the mystical land of America

In which our heroes talk mostly about poo (but also wee) for over an hour and run out of time to do an actual podcast.

In which our heroes insult a listener, abandon a long-term podcast project, go on a speed awareness course and talk about toilets & poo for a very, very long time.

In which our heroes buy booze and talk about Gangster’s Wives, the greatest film yet to be made

In which Christopher advocates drowning children and possibly breaks the official secrets act and Graham recycles content from previous episodes.  More is revealed about Graham’s new neighbour in a way that Adam would probably have prevented, so it is definitely his fault for not supervising.

In which our heroes travel to Bangkok. Adam becomes a murderer for hire, Graham gets into a fight with a muscle man and Chris falls in love. Dan remains unaccounted for.

In which our heroes drink some mysterious liquid which arrived by post, discuss cannibalism, Japanese trains & the Parisian helicopter prison break, and muse on the fact that IT’S COMING HOME

In which our heroes ride the Megabus, dream about Jacob Rees Mogg and frequent glory holes

In which our heroes look at pictures of tiny aeroplanes (yes, really, on a  podcast) and plan a podcast outing.  Graham disrespects the heroes of war and Chris and Dan make many single item lists. There are no new years resolutions (which helps to approximately date this historical offering).

In which our heroes go to a ginger wedding, have thoughts about things, bully Daniel into singing and  Chris impresses everyone with his current up to date musical references. PLUS – A story about Ruddy William.

In which our heroes sit back, relax, and generally chill out. Graham makes himself a nice Gin and Tonic, Adam silences the annoying cats and cars in his life and Dan gets his dick out in the light of a burning dustbin to impress a lady.

In which our heroes bang on about GDPR and Jumani, have a stress wank, invent a cocktail and find Dan a wife

In which our two surviving heroes discuss films, “canon” and the misadventures of Sajid Javid.  The train noises are 100% intentional

In which our heroes discuss quality tv, wrestle with GDPR, discuss the local elections, debrief from their expedition into the countryside and conduct a scientific study into what constitutes a sea.

In which our heroes wrestle with poor audio quality for the first 20 minutes. Adam plays fantasy government, Chris joins ISIS and Dan gets off his tits on ketamine.

In which our heroes get under a towel, plan Graham’s death by (sexual) misadventure, stumble upon actual content, threaten multiple regicide, libel a twinkle and then use their excellent internet sleuthing skills to track another one down. Editors note: this one is a real mess, but quite a funny mess.

In which our heroes discuss bum disease, Graham speaks ill of Stuart Baggs the Dead Brand, Daniel continues to misunderstand veganism and Chris has a dirty weekend away with Michael Portillo