Two Star Podcast

In which our heroes are stood up by Adam. Chris does some DIY, Graham demands to know what ratio of goodie to baddie Martin McGuinness was and Dan laments never having fucked anything historic.

In which Dan attends an orgy, Chris fails to void himself in his new toilet and we play silly thought games.

In which our heroes play Dungeons and Dragons, Chris is replaced by a robot at several points, Graham recovers from his crippling bum disease and Adam starts a petition to ban the podcast.

In which our heroes are down to 2. Chris calls his wife Babes and Graham goes on the bus. Both call out David from Birmingham for being a Bad Friend.

In which our heroes solve racism, sign up to enter the crystal maze, do goat yoga and generally reminisce about the 1980s, Daniel constructs a woman trap and Graham goes beyond creepy.

In which our heroes take legal advice, discuss the impending orange apocalypse and review bank account cancellation details.

In which Adam tries really fucking hard to edit out all the background noise but is thwarted by Dan banging around his room doing god-knows what for the entire recording.

In which our heroes experience technical difficulties, talk about Ru Paul’s Drag Race, Denzel Washington and Halal meat.

In which our heroes recall the past, attempt to predict the future, develop a relationship on ratemydick.net, identify a bellend of the week, fight off the norovirus, discuss flying whorehouses and did a fun quiz!

In which we meet our diversity quota, force Stavrina to become the mistress of Jacob Rees Mogg, join extremist vegans in plotting death to the west and enjoy our shared foreskin/medical toy fetish, all whilst Chris refuses to start or end the podcast properly.  FIGHT THE POWER!

In which our heroes are joined by superfan Stavrina who takes them on a racist tram ride.  Chris faints,  Graham drinks paint thinner, we set up a company to exploit racists, Stavrina learns who Jeremy Beadle is and reveals her bizarre toilet habits, all whilst  Adam gets increasingly frustrated with Chris for failing to start the podcast.

In which our heroes bravely struggle on without Dan. Graham argues with a Terminator, Chris takes some heroin and Adam brings down a major sports brand.

In which our heroes DDOS RateMyDick. Chris eats fancy coleslaw, Graham presents a caravan / robot quiz, Adam crashes his car and Dan tosses off over the Grand Tour.

In which our heroes rate some more dicks, grow white-man dreads, eat banana & bacon trifle and take a moral stand

In which our heroes kind of phone it in because they can’t be expected to nail it every wek.

In which our heroes brave the Trumpian wasteland to record a podcast. Graham goes poo fishing, Chris comes out as gay, Adam spends $300 on a catalogue and Dan has sex with animals.

In which our heroes blind Ant McPartlin with paint, unveil the 2016 Two Star Podcast Christmas advert and call Nick Knowles a bellend.

In which our heroes rate dicks. Adam presents our US Election Special, Dan strangles a dog, Graham is vulgar and Chris jizzes in his #fartballoon

In which our heroes start a sex rumour about footballers. Dan reports on a gay donkey, Adam nukes Texas and/or France, Chris sneezes and Graham makes plans to attend a sex robot festival.

In which our heroes break the news and make the news. Chris wonders about Rimming, Dan slathers himself in Marmite, Adam blows up some phones and Graham does a poo.

In which our heroes talk paedo pop, RADAR, foreign doctors and exorcism

In which our heroes discuss the Richard Curtis Multiverse, reneg on their hate crime plans, answer a listener’s letter about dirty protests and talk about TV programmes that aired many years before their average listener was born. Here is the camera dildo: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B013JSWZNE?th=1 Here is the video of a man drilling his iTelephone: https://youtu.be/5tqH-Un9SFU

In which our heroes celebrate their Paralympic success and forget to edit the podcast, which is why it’s only just been published.

  In which our heroes mourn the deaths of Adam and the Great British Bake Off, do some cyber bullying and adapt a modern classic

In which our heroes open their post, ridicule Jeremy Corbyn for liking UB40 and read from Jane Austen.