Two Star Podcast

In which our heroes take a lady hostage, exile Donald Trump to Mexico, catch a German swimmer with a fishing hook and discuss poo crumbs & robotic wanking claw robotic_wanking_claws buy cheap robotic wanking claws sex porn.

In which our heroes go ‘meh’ at Great British Bake Off, discuss poo crumbs and Dan & Graham get diverted by Viennetta.

In which our heroes plot a terror attack, build a robot octopus and interview Christopher from Dorset for a grown-up job.

In which our heroes fire Orlando Bloom, Graham watches a man breaking his leg, Adam watches computer games and Dan reads the privacy policy for his vibrator. Chuck Tingle’s masterwork can be found here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pokebutt-Go-Pounded-Em-All-ebook/dp/B01IAGH4VI

In which our heroes get  a coffee and a blowjob, shoot buzzards and review Robot Wars.

In which our heroes discuss filth, porn, sexy times, Chessington Bubble Works, grot, jazz mags and 300 dicks.

In which our heroes abolish all anti-drug laws in sport, read out some incredible Robot Wars fan fiction, moan about millennials and extend an olive branch to David from Birmingham.

In which our heroes brew beer by algorithm, Adam wants to be more evil, Christopher from Dorset review Absolutely Fabulous and Craig David’s beard, and Graham goes off on one about Japanese pop-culture.

In which our heroes elect a new Prime Minister, form a new political party, plot the recolonisation of America and have a go on a sex robot. That “Hardcore Henry” music video: Bad Motherfucker by Biting Elbows.

In which our heroes pick through the remains of the UK political system to see what can be salvaged, review Craig David’s new song and ripped bod and Christopher from Dorset tells us about his holiday. Here are the Craig David pictures we toss off to: http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/06/13/article-2341240-1A4E7EE0000005DC-872_634x624.jpg http://www.dnamagazine.com.au/media/0/49723/2/maycr...

In which Dan is late due to a case of the shits and our heroes discuss the EU Referendum a lot, declare Brucie not responsible for a murder and eat some Avocados in the channel tunnel.

In which our heroes talk about football, plan to get on Skynet’s good side and recap on E3.

In which our heroes uncover the truth about Noel Edmonds’ magic box, sell water to hipsters and spend hours tediously trying to think up bird / curry puns.

In which our heroes are joined by Christopher from Dorset and David from @geeknewsradio . They talk about wrestling, hipsters & shitting, and delve into the lore and legend of J D Wetherspoon.

In which our heroes discuss Eurovision, make plans to sink RRS David Attenborough and read listeners’ letters

In which our heroes mourn the passing of Prince, plan for Skynet’s inevitable rise to power, visit a hipster restaurant and get very angry about bees.

In which our heroes sleep on a WiFi mattress, guess who Jo Johnson is and start bootlegging prosecco.

In which our heroes accidentally show Skynet what they look like. Adam gives us some nutrition tips, Dan has a go on a Japanese sex robot and Graham points out that All Saints are definitely not a manifestation of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse, which is obvious. Of course they’re not. It’s not even worth discussing, forget we mentioned it. Here are the links to the virtual sex suit: h...

In which our heroes start to plan their apocalypse survival strategy. Adam dicks about in the virtual realm, Dan moves funds off-shore and Graham continues his adventures as an American truck driver

In which our heroes mourn another victim of Bruce Forsyth, reveal that Barry Chuckle probably isn’t actually a racist and read Thomas the Tank Engine erotic fanfiction. YES, REALLY.

In which our heroes blaspheme. Graham reports on Barry Chuckle’s racist views, Adam is OUTRAGED that Easter has been BANNED and Dan names a ship. The audio quality in this episode is frankly a disgrace so, like, sorry for that and shit.

In which our heroes grapple with technology. Graham desecrates monuments with wicked car stunts, Adam dresses as a ninja and wanks off outside someone’s front door and Dan gets his dick torn off playing rugby.

In which our heroes haven’t bothered to record an actual episode so have just compiled the three least shit bits from previous episodes. Except the play, that goes on too long. You might want to stop listening about 15 minutes in.

In which our heroes are a bit poorly and talk about the boring EU referendum, Deadpool and a wanking dolphin.

In which our heroes go to the pub. The podcast fractures into two timelines like from Sliding Doors, Dan reports on a Spaniard who didn’t go to work for 6 years and Christopher from Dorset starts a listeners’ union.