Trigger Proof Transmissions

When we are going through a difficult time— It’s nice to feel seen and heard and understood by someone… Especially when as a child you didn’t receive that container of “attunement.” Often when we hit snags in relationships or something conflicting or confronting has happened, it helps tremendously to talk to someone— and get it out.  There’s a blind spot in the traditional “mental health” model th...

If you’ve ever watched a Superhero movie, you’ll notice a common theme in every single one: The Hero ends up becoming the perceived villain at some point. Somewhere down the line, they fail to meet the pedestal-like expectations placed upon them. You’ll notice the same thing has happened to you as well. In relationships whenever you try to rescue someone… From their sadness and grief, from their a...

As it turns out, I was completely wrong about what Trauma is. And not knowing the truth about it kept me stuck there, trying to think my way out of my relationship challenges. This one oversight keeps people from healing.  In my 20 years of helping people heal, I’ve noticed there are 2 types of people who are stuck: 1) Those who are incessantly sharing their victim story, gaining validation and a...

Not understanding Trauma is hurting you. And if you’re a parent, chances are, without even being aware, the unconscious and subtle nature of how trauma passes like a virus is causing us to pass it down intergenerationally to our children. That’s why in every single one of my trainings and offerings, it’s my mission to teach what I had no clue about so that people could break the cycle that didn’t...

Everyone wants to have relationships that feel safe and secure, free of worry and threat of being hurt... Very few take the time to look inward at two skills we overlook in learning that will make our relationships "Trigger-Proof". _________________________________________________________ Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month) If you’re stuck in limbo, in repetitive r...

There's a hidden invisible fence blocking us from being able to receive love in relationships that feel safe. This invisible fence is our inability to be able to work through and process Emotional Flashbacks. There are 5 main reasons why we have no clue what to do with our emotions, and we don't have the understanding of how to feel our feelings in a way that helps us direct the energy towards som...

I was too embarrassed to look and notice that I was stuck in a Relationship I didn’t know how to free myself from, which took me through a series of events that led to my arrest. I share the journey here. __________________________________________________ Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month) Upcoming Overview Experience Virtual Event (Every month) Discovery Call Application...

We all get into relationships to give us a sense of love and connection. But what happens when things go awry, and that connection turns into something unhealthy that causes us to lose ourselves? The answer is that things can get pretty ugly and fast. Trauma bonds are tricky because we lose all access to our rational minds and are run by old unconscious programs we can feel powerless against. When...

Of all the relationship advice I ever was given,  there was one concept that trumped them all: The concept of “safety.”.   The foundational context of every relationship  that feels inspiring, fulfilling and rewarding isn’t HOT SEX (that’s what I used to think it was all about).  We all want relationships that are secure attachments.  Nobody goes into these dynamics wanting things to turn into a t...

"Can we heal from this? Can we salvage the marriage?" On today's transmission I answer an email that came in that was so relevant I wanted to share what it takes to heal from Toxic Abusive Patterns and create secure relationships. If we skip these steps-- we are bound to repeat the cycle of abuse. Today I share why the cycle happens and what to do about it. ________________________ Upcoming Master...

We all want to feel trust in a relationship.  We really can't feel safe without it. But if you've ever gone through a break-up, you know there's residual pain we carry with us.  It accumulates with each relationship breakdown until eventually we can find ourselves in a point where we don't want to even bother with them anymore, and say "screw this I don't want to do this again." Even though this a...

“Should I stay or go” has been the biggest question we get from our emails and DM’s. Couples who are stuck in co-dependency, stuck in story…. Pamela’s relationship was no different. They were on the rocks— after multiple affairs— and counselling and talk therapy wasn’t helping. The pandemic really stirred shit up and they couldn’t ignore it anymore. On the recommendation from a friend, she booked...

How many books have you read on healing relationship dynamics? If you have, I’m curious if you’ve ever noticed any dramatic results — especially when we are dealing with Trauma Bonds. Trauma Bonds are easy to pick out.  Think Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. Highly addictive. Volatile. You KNOW they’re not good for you, but you just can’t seem to get out. Lesley reached out to me in a “zombie-like” st...

When we are feeling stuck in our lives… We don’t really know what it feels like to feel a sense of freedom. We all want to be able to understand ourselves, and WHY we show up the way we do feel safe with ourselves, learn how to TRULY let go of the past and learn how to react differently to our loved ones and change our relationship within our family dynamics. The problem is, when we are at the eff...

I didn’t know this about Trauma…  But it explained EVERYTHING.  Why I was so anxious. Why I was so self-critical. Why I was such a perfectionist. Why I cared so much about what other people think. Why I didn’t know who I was beyond this false self I put up  to hide from my own insignificance. Since we teach what we most need to learn,  I wanted to get to the bottom of why I was falling into the sa...

If you’ve ever looked at an aspect of your life and decided it was time to change… and then felt stopped, paralyzed, and felt yourself fall back to old patterns, to the point you have thought “why even bother,” then you might be surprised to realize the Neuroscience behind why that is.  You’ll want to understand this one… because not getting this right is the difference between a life of your desi...

have you ever SWORN that you’d NEVER turn out to be like your parents  when you had kids…. and then were mortified to one day notice,  that you were starting to follow in the same footsteps? If you can’ t relate to what I just said… Congrats, you’re likely keen on breaking cycles of Trauma.. But if you COULD relate—  please don’t feel ashamed of that. Intergenerational trauma is so insidious,  you...

Whatever pisses me off about anyone or anything,  whatever I am triggered by,  whatever causes me ANY suffering  when I look carefully with my “Overview” Lens,  100 times out of 100,  it’s because I’m arguing with reality,  projecting a “should” or a “fantasy” on what already IS. Over the past couple of years when the world went crazy,  I found myself doing that again and again: Fantasy: “People s...

Have you ever been in a relationship that you KNOW was/is harmful, but you felt frozen because the pain of leaving is worse than the pain of staying? This was the case with Lisa, one of the participants of our Breathwork and Badassery Experience. This happens a lot in Trauma Healing work… where people ask questions, but they don’t really know what it is they are asking. This is the product of diss...

What part of you do you hate about yourself? (Take a moment and think about it— I’m serous) This part is what Carl Jung calls “The Shadow.” We all have one.  Those parts of us that have us say: “I can’t show you the real me, because if I did, there’s no way you would accept me”. Some of us hide from those parts, some of us stuff them down (called “repression”) and others just plain pretend they do...

if you don’t have children, and you’re not interested,  please disregard this email. But if you do, and you want to connected deeper with them… I invite you to pay attention and consider the possibility  this might get a bit uncomfortable. We all want to feel connected to our children,  but when we see them acting out, throwing tantrums,  and behaving in ways that cause us to feel ashamed,  often...

Have you ever been in a relationship that you KNOW was/is harmful, but you felt frozen because the pain of leaving is worse than the pain of staying? This was the case with Lisa, one of the participants of our Breathwork and Badassery Experience. This happens a lot in Trauma Healing work… where people ask questions, but they don’t really know what it is they are asking. This is the product of diss...

Unfortunately, there isn’t a quick fix for Co-Dependency. Everyone wants a sense of freedom in their relationships… Freedom to have themselves, and to have another. Freedom to rest in safety without worrying the other person will leave. Freedom to feel safe and respected in taking some space without having your significant other freak out on you every time you want a night to yourself. Without thi...

"Dr. Nima, is it possible to heal a trauma bond within a relationship -- and the relationship ends up working out?  Does it always have to end?   Don't both parties have to do their healing work?" On today's transmission I reveal the 5 pillars necessary to heal trauma bonds and create secure relationships, and how to determine if you should stay or go. _____________________________________________...

If you're tired of having the same arguments in your relationship dynamics, or you're single and noticing a pattern in the type of people you're attracting and you end up staying waaaay longer than you know is good for you, there's likely a blind spot you can't see. Today's transmission helps you identify 2 core excuses we make that are unhealthy to the potential of creating secure love. Without i...