Trigger Proof Transmissions

Working in the field of healing Trauma Bonds, having a pretty strong (and controversial) opinion about what it takes to HEAL when many therapies and modalities simply help people just COPE… The topic of taking ownership and responsibility for how we show up in relationships is a very heated, and often misunderstood point I share, especially when it comes to emotional and physical abuse.  When Jaso...

What is it that you’re not stepping into action for? Where are you dragging your feet? What is sitting there unwritten, unresolved, un-expressed within you? Chances are,  you’re stopped by “perfection anxiety”— better known as PERFECTIONISM. If you’ve ever identified yourself as a “perfectionist,”— pay close attention. What was the consequence to you as a child of “not getting it right?” I can rec...

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU’RE HEALING? (I’ll tell you how by the end). ------ The reason why you’re receiving this message is  you found your way on my email list because you were curious about evolving yourself.  An attachment-style quiz, an article, or perhaps it was a video that  prompted you to find a way of receiving my transmissions. For whatever reason— I’m glad to be connecting with you.   And...

It appears there’s a blind spot that might be impacting your ability to have healthy relationships. I don’t mean to make assumptions about you— especially if we haven’t personally met before. It’s just that this seems to be constraining 100% of every person who’s ever joined one of our trainings.  It seems that everyone is dealing with the exact same “upstream” issue: AN UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP TO...

I don’t mean to be rude when I say this.  It’s meant more as a wake up call when I’m speaking to my clients,  who’ve been searching for answers to the most pressing questions: - Why don’t my relationships work? - Why am I attracted to the same types of partners who treat me like crap? - Why can’t I commit? - Why do I want to run every time they get close? - Why do I constantly second guess myself?...

If you’ve ever felt frustration on your healing journey,  there’s a good reason. It’s because your expectations are likely in fantasy land. The perfectionistic parts that are deathly afraid of “failure” love to show up on your journey towards healing your attachment wiring,  and when you fall into old patterns— - texting an ex you’re trying to let go of, - shopping to wash your blues away, - relap...

I thought for sure I would be called out or cancelled for this. BUT THE EXACT OPPOSITE HAPPENED. In this Era where #metoo highlighted the classic traits of “Toxic Masculinity”: Namely:  Controlling, Agressive, Predatory behavior that comes from the unhealed wounds and rampant Masculine shadows in society… All of which are well documented and you’ll see a million articles and videos about… I took a...

If you can identify with being Avoidant attached-- you have a deep desire for connection-- but are deathly afraid of it. Historically connection meant that you'd have to take responsibility for other people's emotions.  There's a paralyzing fear of losing oneself, and not being understood.  It just sometimes feels safer being on an island. After being alone for 4 years, Ryan wanted to find the roo...

This was a question that was asked by a community member in our trigger proof community... On today's transmission I delve into why this question itself is dangerous and doesn't lead to favorable outcomes-- and where to aim instead. Not getting this concept right in my own life eventually led to my own arrest which woke me up to heal my sexual shadows.

(4 minute read) QUESTION IN MY DM’S: I'm a 38 year old woman, and I got divorced last year after being separated for several years. My ex-husband was my first s€xual partner. The s€x was better prior to getting married, but after our first year of marriage it was infrequent and sometimes unsatisfying, and I felt confused and rejected. I recognize that I may have some trauma around s€xual rejection...

There are many ways in which we can unconsciously get in the way of relationships that are strong and secure.   Often, the way we react to abandonment anxiety inadvertendly causes us to feel the very thing we are afraid of the most:   Being abandoned.  In my experience working with those who are committed to breaking this painful cycle, there are 7 common symptoms to be on the lookout for so we ca...

If you identify with Anxious Attachment, then you're not alone. Constantly second guessing yourself, seeking validation, asking friends "what does he/she mean by that?" in this twisted dance of anxiety whether they like you or not or are going to leave. It sucks. Good news-- if you want to shift to a more secure state, where you're comfortable in your own skin, where you're no longer worried if th...

On this transmission I cover the 2 skills I never learned in any personal development course that -- no word of a lie-- has cost me over a million dollars in divorce, legal fees, lost business, not to mention the mental anguish and sleepless nights, and worrying about what others think of me, along with an inability to set boundaries.  Now in helping people sort out the exact same challenges in ou...

The holiday season has people feeling a "spike" in Anxiety levels.   When family is around, we have a shared past that spills into the present, causing us to go further into a shell. Many start with talk therapies, hoping for freedom.  On This call, you get to meet someone who had been prescribed benzos and anti-depressants along with talk therapy-- and can now say she has 100% freedom from all of...

Co-dependency patterns are said to be impossible to break by the experts. That's true-- because conventional methods don't work.   With a deep commitment, breaking the unconscious bonds we have towards our Trauma is possible.   The problem is-- even though we want freedom from the pain of Co-Dependency, on the other side-- we crave the familiar, and even though we want out of the pain, without exp...

A community member just asked:  "Would appreciate some extra insight on how to know when you're playing the victim vs. just needing to express your feelings on how you've been affected by someone else's actions vs. needing/desiring validation vs. not making others feel responsible for your feelings. Confused on how the concepts are different/similar & what's healthy vs. not healthy. I definite...

On this transmission I'll be answering a question from a member of the community: "Im worried that I romanticize my past relationship a bit, we were together a long time, share a child, and I’m frequently (and what feels like subconsciously) making comparisons in my new relationship and I’m recognizing that it’s not fair, I just feel that I can’t help these thoughts sometimes" Watch this training...

“It’s the most wonderful time…. of the year.” Every year in my Chiropractic practice, we would see a “bump” in people coming in stressed, disconnected, angry, or dissociated in December leading up to the holidays. Since I made the leap into teaching people how to become their own medicine, through Nervous System Regulation, healing from Trauma Bonds and Shadow work, I would notice an “uptick” in o...

On this transmission we discuss the most important variable that we must consider when moving from insecure attachments to becoming secure individuals-- Boundaries-- and why we generally suck at them.   Not getting this right virtually guarantees a life where we feel unsafe and alone.   Grab a pen, you'll get a chance to rate yourself on the 7 types of Boundaries, so you can identify what you are...

I used to live in a fantasy.   That fantasy sounded something like this:  “I’ve had shitty luck with relationships.  When I meet the right person, then I’ll have a great relationship.” After my divorce in 2011, I went down the rabbit hole of one relationship after another falling into the same pattern. They never ended well.   The last one I was in — I was so unconscious, that I allowed things to...

have you ever felt like “checking out?” This experience of “checking out” is a protective mechanism in the nervous system, when we have no clue how to process our feelings.  The truth is that you got into a relationship for the purpose of sharing love. BUT! Here’s what we aren’t aware of:  WE HAVE UNCONSCIOUS PARTS THAT PUSH LOVE AWAY.  This inner conflict wreaks havoc on our relationships.   With...

Have you ever noticed a pattern in your life? A pattern with choosing the same type of people in relationships. A pattern of not being able to say “no” and exhausting yourself.  A pattern of pushing people away when they get too close. Whatever the pattern may be, I’ve learned to start paying attention to them. When we do— there’s a gold-mine of opportunity for healing.  In my 20 years as Chiropra...

There are two types of people in Insecure relationship dynamics. Which one are you? 1) The one who takes on the victim role— “It’s all their fault. I’m blameless and the other person needs to change.” 2) The one who takes all the blame:  “It’s all my fault, I’m messed up and hopeless.” From my experience— Both of these extremes come from an incomplete awareness. In our current climate in culture a...

are you aware that you have a particular “flavor” when it comes to your Trauma Responses? Well, you do. (We all do). These trauma responses kept us safe in childhood. Safe from threat. Safe from being hurt. We adapted beautifully by coming up with these responses.  That’s why you’re here today, and you’re able to read these words. So congrats. Mad respect. (you know there’s a flip side to this, ri...

Have you ever SWORN that you’d NEVER turn out to be like your parents when you had kids…. and then were mortified to one day notice, that you were starting to follow in the same footsteps? If you can’ t relate to what I just said… Congrats, you’re likely keen on breaking cycles of Trauma.. But if you COULD relate— please don’t feel ashamed of that. Intergenerational trauma is so insidious, you won...