Trigger Proof Transmissions

If you’ve ever wanted to change your relationship, and your partner wasn’t on board…  pay close attention. Constant arguments, feeling gaslit, having your emotions invalidated. When you give feedback— they jump and become defensive and tell you why you’re wrong. You want to feel seen and heard and understood. You’ve read all the books and done the podcasts,  and I am sure you’ve talked to a therap...

“I think I married my mother/father”. If only I had a nickel for every time I heard this in my DM’s from people stuck in a “should I stay or go?” situation in their relationships. I talk to so many people who swear they don’t want to become like their parents, or they want to find the OPPOSITE of what they experienced, but mortified to find themselves repeating a similar dynamic. Freud called this...

On this transmission I share the one reason why familes crumble during the holiday season, and by doing this one thing you can transform Insecure (anxious) patterns and turn them into secure ones. Hint: They’re part of the same issue. Share in the comments what arises for you. ______________________________________________________________________ Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Ev...

On this training I share why divorces and breakups happen so commonly. Learning this one skill in conflicts I cover on this video is the foundation of being a secure. When you get this right, your status rises with your maturity level. It’s not what you think. ___________________________________ Upcoming Masterclass "SHOULD I STAY OR GO?" Live Event (Every month) If you’re stuck in limbo, in repet...

Why do you think that 80% of divorce is initiated by women? If you’ve ever been in a “should I stay or go” situation,  check this story out. Frank’s wife Janet said “I’m done. I need you to leave.” After an infidelity was caught 7 years prior,  their relationship slowly eroded despite weekly couples therapy sessions. Finally she felt hopeless and had had enough.  The difference here was that  Fran...

Ever wondered what is causing relationship frustration that pushes you further away from secure attachment? The main root cause of anxious attachment? The main root cause of your avoidant tendencies? I cover it, as well as what needs to be done about it on this transmission. Type in the comments what resonates most with you,  and if you can identify yourself in any of these examples. _____________...

“We have been together for 10 years and we are stuck having the same argument over and over. We love each other, we are just building resentments over time and it seems like I’m getting the validation I need from the Therapist, but nothing is changing.  Is there any hope? Can this be solved? —— I get questions like this all the time.  Luckily there’s a place you can look where most therapists won’...

I just got off a call with a woman who was stuck in a relationship that was going nowhere. She wanted help. The truth?  She wanted MY help to change HIM. Respectfully, that’s not how it works. Everyone wants change, but what I’ve discovered helping people overcome trauma bonds, push/pull dynamics and attracting relationships that feel like the same type of person avoidant partners who can’t commit...

After working with hundreds of women, hearing their stories, and working with men who’s wives have had enough… I felt inspired to share this message as a public service announcement of the 4 Trauma Responses we are responsible for learning how to regulate if we are to create safety and security in the home. Not getting this right causes cycles of Intergenerational Trauma to pass down to the next g...

Last week, during the kickoff of my signature Overview Experience, I found myself candidly sharing a deeply personal experience. It's not often that I delve into such vulnerable topic— which are my sxxual shadows, but I felt compelled to discuss my past - a past marred by unresolved shadows that sent my relationship spiraling into a challenging trauma bond. The allure of secret thrills, the overwh...

When you're ready, here's what we got: Want to find out the root of all your sex and money issues? Hint: it’s ALL trauma related. Follow the link to grab your spot to learn how to heal it https://drnima.com/programs/rewire/?el=podcast Join my Free Pop-Up Group to learn more about it. Make sure your answer all the questions: https://drnima.com/lp/rewire-group/?el=podcast ---------------------------...

DEAR PEOPLE PLEASER IN RECOVERY,  it’s not your fault that you are wearing a mask. Growing up, if you’ve ever been punished or scolded for your authentic self expression,  it makes perfect sense why you might want to hide certain aspects of yourself. The problem is, this is a double edged sword,  as it will without a doubt cause destruction to your intimate relationships. The people who reach out...

If you’re ever been stuck in a loop, repeating the same pattern in your relationship dynamic,  pay close attention: Freud called it the “Repetition Compulsion,” where even though you KNOW it’s not wise,  or fulfilling, or even healthy, but unconscious forces are pulling us into what’s familiar to us. All for the purpose of healing. The problem is— our knee-jerk reaction is to play the victim and b...

What if your partner doesn’t want to “do the work”? I get this question all the time. This video is an excerpt from our recent "Breathwork and Badassery” Experience. I get this question almost every single time. It’s almost as though we aren’t going to take part in our healing  unless we have permission first. This is the hallmark of Co-Dependency. The very reason why you must— will be the very re...

If you’ve ever experienced one of the following: Infidelity. Domestic Abuse. Toxic Relationship breakdown. Divorce. Addiction. Mental health crisis. Co-dependency. Then you’re in good company these days. It’s literally impossible to hit your 40’s without suffering through one of those wake-up calls. That’s what they are designed to do: To WAKE US UP. If we don’t, we get to repeat the lesson. If yo...

Sub-text:  I had to ask myself these so I could heal from my Trauma Bond Firstname, We all are wanting to create homes where it feels like a sanctuary to be there. Where relationships feel nourishing.  It wasn’t until my last one ended, and I was all alone at the age of 43, living with my dog, looking in the mirror… I felt called to finally face the darkness within myself I was avoiding. My relati...

There’s been a massive shift in the collective since the pandemic.   We have been isolating ourselves.   Often when stuck in challenging emotional states, unable to make sense of our unresolved wounds, we tend to want to isolate and hibernate. If you’ve ever craved deep connections with relationships, but also noticed a deep sense of fear of connecting and tendency to isolate— then that makes perf...

Just had an interesting back and forth with a woman who was keen on working with me.   Here’s her story: My story dates back to my early childhood years where I grew up in a dysfunctional emotionally and physically abusive household. Typical Mediterranean strict father with lots of emotional issues. My abandonment issues stem from the lacking of emotional parenting I had access to. My father left...

Just had this question: “I have these mood swings that when I am feeling down, I feel I need to shut down and stay away from humans until I can regulate. It could take me a good couple of hours to days to feel like myself again. My ex-husband complained about this and my current partner complained about the same thing and he never met my ex. Why is this a problem to anyone when I feel I need to sh...

Find out here ___

tell me if you can relate to this. I was 43 years old when I realized I had it all wrong. Growing up with the values instilled in me, I thought I had to prove my worth in the world with success. In 2010 when I climbed that mountain and reached what I would have considered “successful,” winning awards in my local community for Business Excellence, breaking financial records I would have considered...

I know this message might sound a little morbid,  but this is the kind of stuff I really enjoy thinking of. Most of us are walking on this planet quite unconsciously.   Waking up, stuck in our heads over what isn’t working, how we aren’t getting what we want, how shitty our jobs or relationships are, lamenting over our frustrations,  and COMPLETELY unaware that we do actually have the power to cha...

"This pain is killing me.” I can’t tell you how many times I used to hear these words in my days as a Chiropractor.  I would cringe inside for my patients,  because although I didn’t have the Poly Vagal Neuroscience training I have now, as I’ve deepened my understanding of how to self-regulate the Nervous system…   but even back then I knew people were delaying their recovery simply by the words t...

It was a painful realization for me.  I couldn’t stand being in between my parents and my first wife. I hated feeling like I was stuck in the middle.   My wife at the time felt like I didn’t have her back. My parents felt frustrated about certain traits about her, and didn’t hesitate to let me know whenever an issue came up. I was unprepared for this.   The anxiety of it caused me to say “F*CK THI...

Have you ever noticed a pattern in your life? A pattern with choosing the same type of people in relationships. A pattern of not being able to say “no” and exhausting yourself.  A pattern of pushing people away when they get too close. Whatever the pattern may be, I’ve learned to start paying attention to them. When we do— there’s a gold-mine of opportunity for healing.  In my 20 years as Chiropra...