Trashwatch

EPISODE 150 – CASPER   “It was heartbreaking to realize that maybe my soul mate was already dead.”   Our 150th episode AND our season finale! This week, Chris has questions about the Ghostbusters canon; Brandon collects unfinished business; Brian remembers a childhood Halloween costume; and Ashley has a good cry.   BTW: The Christina Ricci Cinematic Universe!   Starring: Malachi Pearson, Christina...

EPISODE 149 – MOUSEHUNT   “Okay, this movie so far rules. As long as no more movie happens, it’s perfect.”   Another Fartass Special! This week, Brandon comes in hot; Brian launches Kangaroo Jack Chat; and Chris gets cast in the musical adaptation.   BTW: Too Many Birdhouses!   Starring: Nathan Lane, Lee Evans, Vicki Lewis, Maury Chaykin, Eric Christmas, Michael Jeter, Debra Christofferson, Camill...

EPISODE 148 – THE WIZARD   “Can we please just sit down and have fun when everything’s falling apart?”   This week, Brandon tries to corral the tech-illiterate; Brian unveils the film transition spectrum; Chris makes some bold claims; and Ashley reluctantly rates a butt.   BTW: Casting Joker Dad!   Starring: Fred Savage, Luke Edwards, Jenny Lewis, Beau Bridges, Christian Slater, Jackey Vinson, Wil...

EPISODE 147 – EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH (2006)   “Guys, someone needs to cancel our podcast.”   This week, Brandon explains his Dane Cook aversion; Ashley goes to weird places for hot guys; Brian explains the age-old rule of fashion; and Chris bombs the outro.   BTW: Is Vince Downey Cinema’s Greatest Villain?   Starring: Dane Cook, Jessica Simpson, Dax Shepard, Andy Dick, Tim Bagley, Brian George, Efr...

EPISODE 146 – THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES   EDITOR’S NOTE: This is not a commentary track—edits have been made that will not sync up with the film.   “Every week is another layer of the onion of the ways that evangelical Christianity has messed with Ashley and Chris.”   Testing out a new recording format with the August Patron Pick! This week, Ashley learns survival skills; Chris fantasizes about divo...

EPISODE 145 – BORDELLO OF BLOOD   “We got a heist, it’s gonna require 7.2 billion people to pull off—we’re robbing one dude!”   Ashley will be back next week, we promise! This week, Brandon pitches his Tales from the Crypt movie; Chris sums up Dennis Miller’s energy; and Brian tries to understand a baffling character choice.   BTW: Introducing our plan for September (and possibly beyond)!   Starri...

EPISODE 144 – THE SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MOVIE   “I forgot how much nudity is in this movie.”   No Ashley for this manly episode! This week, Brandon reviews Nutella; Chris is a reliable shower buddy; and Brian plays SpongeJohn MulaneyPants.   BTW: Our favorite podcast, My Favorite Murderer !   Starring: Tom Kenny, Bill Fagerbakke, Rodger Bumpass, Clancy Brown, Mr. Lawrence, Jill Talley, Jeffrey Tam...

EPISODE 143 – GOOD BURGER   “Ed is the wingman energy I need, but Ed has the flirting energy I have.”   This week, Chris is the perfect goon; Brandon explains Sinbad’s game; Brian explains his game; and Ashley has a Chris moment.   BTW: Hodor’s on First!   Starring: Kel Mitchell, Kenan Thompson, Sinbad, Abe Vigoda, Shar Jackson, Jan Schweiterman, Ron Lester, Josh Server, Ginny Schreiber, Carmen El...

EPISODE 142 – SUPERSTAR (1999)   “What’s the funniest name we can get? Mary Katherine Gallagher is pretty good.” “Condolences to Kathryn Gallagher—Tony nominee.”   Ashley’s finally home, so we recorded in-person again! This week; Brandon recalls old people at the movies; Chris shares a talent show story; Brian walks out; and Ashley gives us a musical treat.   BTW: Are there old Kyles?   Starring:...

EPISODE 141 – MOTHER GOOSE ROCK ‘N’ RHYME   “Why are you making us look fondly on Bugsy Malone , Chris?!”   At least Ashley didn’t have to deal with this one! This week, Chris halts the theme music; Brian fumes over a missed joke; and Brandon makes AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!   BTW: This movie’s devastating blow to our strategic coke reserves!   Starring: Shelley Duvall, Dan Gilroy, Jean Stapleton,...

EPISODE 140 – CYBER SEDUCTION: HIS SECRET LIFE   “If you put on porn at a party, they’re asking you to leave.”   This week, Ashley nears the end of her trip; Brandon solves Justin’s problem; Chris learns to lie; and Brian teaches us to Thirst DM.   BTW: Too Many Dads!   Starring: Jeremy Sumpter, Lyndsy Fonseca, Kelly Lynch, John Robinson, Jake Scott, Kyle Schmid, and Nicole Dicker   Directed by To...

EPISODE 139 – NICK FURY: AGENT OF S.H.I.E.L.D. (ft. Lexi Vestey)   “This movie has angles so Dutch it makes Thor look like a Wes Anderson movie.”   This week, Lexi discovers cynicism; Brian has fun with subtitles; Brandon builds a Tears of the Kingdom Helicarrier; Chris gets infested with Mormons; and Ashley cashes pizza checks.   BTW: Kevin Smith’s American Beauty !   Starring: David Hasselhoff,...

EPISODE 138 – SUSIE Q   “We’re all very, very mean to old people in this episode.”   We’re kicking off Small Screen Summer! This week, Ashley “coaches” basketball; Brian gets an ill-timed ad; Brandon gets unlimited breadsticks; and Chris writes some better endings.   BTW: WHAT ARE THE GHOST RULES?!?!?!   Starring: Amy Jo Johnson, Justin Whalin, Shelley Long, Andrea Libman, Garwin Sanford, Chris Wi...

EPISODE 137 – BUT I’M A CHEERLEADER   “I think we have the potential to do to The Flash what we did to Morbius .”   Our Patrons picked a perfect Pride picture! This week, Chris is into Venn Diagrams; Brian demands shorter production logos; and Brandon tries to get Ashley into Pushing Daisies .   BTW: Jebediah Flick, the Liberal Arts Amish!   Starring: Natasha Lyonne, Clea DuVall, Cathy Moriarty, R...

EPISODE 136 – STAR TREK: NEMESIS   “And then he turns and says his famous catchphrase: ‘Sleepytime tea, cold please!’”   This week, Brandon gets sci-fi nonsense; Chris gets a couple good lines in; and Brian gets Brandon boos. (Also Ashley beams in!)   BTW: Picard wants to see Worf’s PHD!   Starring: Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, LeVar Burton, Michael Dorn, Marina Sirtis, Gates Mc...

EPISODE 135 – THE PAGEMASTER   “Guys, we got a sponsorship offer from Wikifeet?”   Another Ashley cameo! This week, Brian has a Culkin realization; Chris makes his worst pitch yet; Brandon finally unveils Sister Act 3 ; and Ashley has camera trouble.   BTW: Squid-ception!   Starring: Macaulay Culkin, Christopher Lloyd, Patrick Stewart, Whoopi Goldberg, Frank Welker, Ed Begley Jr., Mel Harris, Leon...

EPISODE 134 – DETROIT ROCK CITY   “We have a whole new season of I Think You Should Leave references to cram down your throats!”   Surprise—Ashley’s on the call! This week, Brian becomes Dougal; Chris reveals the secret of radio call-ins; Brandon takes a big detour; and Ashley didn’t watch the movie.   BTW: Our KISS identities!   Starring: Edward Furlong, Giuseppe Andrews, James DeBello, Sam Hunti...

EPISODE 133 – LOST IN SPACE (1998)   “Friends don’t let friends watch Lost in Space . So Ashley, I have some bad news…”   One last Ashley pick before her summer hiatus! This week, Brandon’s passion is graphic design; Ashley explains the only two plots of the 90’s; Brian requests a Succession fan edit; and Chris wonders what’s happening on Earth.   BTW: JUST SAY THE TITLE, YOU COWARDS!   Starring:...

EPISODE 132 – BUGSY MALONE   “No one stopped and said, ‘Hmm, is this awful?’”   Musical May ends… oddly. This week, Brian plans the series finale; Ashley awaits unhinged 2020s art; Chris does his Jodie Foster voice; and Brandon nearly burns down the city.   BTW: Theme announcement for June’s Patron Pick!   Starring: Scott Baio, Florence Garland, Jodie Foster, John Cassisi, Martin Lev, Paul Murphy,...

EPISODE 131 – BURLESQUE   “This is No Subtext, but in the bad way!”   Musical May Gets Rough! This week, Brian walks us through film history; Brandon explains Alan Cumming; Ashley tries to figure out the timeline; and Chris ruins a box of cookies.   BTW: This burlesque lounge is hemorrhaging money!   Starring: Cher, Christina Aguilera, Alan Cumming, Eric Dane, Cam Gigandet, Julianne Hough, Peter G...

EPISODE 130 – MUPPETS MOST WANTED   “Brian’s not chill enough to be Rowlf.”   Musical May Goes Muppets! This week, Brian ends the episode immediately; Brandon stands against AI; Chris attacks Brian; and Ashley is Queen Victoria’s Sassy Best Friend.   BTW: The Amber Seals finally unlock Cabin in the Woods !   Starring: Steve Whitmire, Eric Jacobson, Dave Goelz, Bill Barretta, David Rudman, Matt Vog...

EPISODE 129 – THE FIGHTING TEMPTATIONS   “I don’t know why I’m dead inside, I just know I’m dead inside.”   Musical May is back! This week, Ashley reveals how to speak in tongues; Brian takes on The Music Man ; Brandon flexes his Bootyology cred; and Chris curiously spares his wife.   BTW: All-new Jesus liquor!   Starring: Cuba Gooding Jr., Beyoncé, Mike Epps, LaTanya Richardson, Eddie LeVert Sr.,...

EPISODE 128 – CONGO   “What is this mirror doing in my face? I do not like the visage on which I gaze!”   This week, Brandon gets custom shirts for collar-tugging; Ashley unbirths Steve Jobs; Brian botches a skit; and Chris relates Congo to The Simpsons .   BTW: Doubt , Now With Lasers!   Starring: Laura Linney, Tim Curry, Dylan Walsh, Ernie Hudson, Grant Heslov, Joe Don Baker, Lola Noh, Mary Elle...

EPISODE 127 – DR. DOLITTLE (1998)   “Let us all join as one podcast and declare that that is so Raven.”   This week, Brian marvels at the exorcism(?); Brandon struggles to make sense of the merger; Ashley reveals her best impression; and Chris has Big Golden Retriever Energy.   BTW: Hop aboard the Pound Truck!   Starring: Eddie Murphy, Ossie Davis, Oliver Platt, Peter Boyle, Richard Schiff, Kriste...

EPISODE 126 – PLANET OF THE APES (2001)   “Ah, it is science fiction—Mark Wahlberg is a scientist!”   This week, Brandon personally attacks Clayton; Chris takes a dump at Marky Mark’s house; Ashley supports horny ape women; and Brian returns to the IMDb Parents Guide.   BTW: How to ruin Avatar: The Last Airbender !   Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Tim Roth, Helena Bonham Carter, Michael Clarke Duncan, P...