Trash Movie Kings

This week we got Ho’d and accidentally watched another Godfrey Ho film. You know…the guy who makes one movie out of several movies and did that like a 100 times and occasionally made money? Yeah... He rules in the worst way imaginable. Bouncing vampires with a paper allergy,, antenna’d cyborgs sinking to hell on a beach, and a near topless witch with a magical roll of toilet paper and a mild inter...

What happens when Roger Corman produces a Fantastic Four movie decades before the MCU? A Grimm look into what superhero films used to be. LIVE from Comicpalooza 2022 at the George R Brown Convention Center, we're sure to talk up a Storm about this one. If anyone in attendance carries a Torch for this movie, we'll be shocked. And hey, maybe we Reed a few e-mails! (Okay, that last one was a stretch)...

We shake up our string of Marvel adjacent garbage to do a little detective work in the world of D.C. rip-offs, only to uncover this fairly enjoyable mid-90s girl-Batman take from Roger Corman. Produced for Showtime’s horny teen (er, full grown men) market, we get a pretty easily digestible, sexy, funny, silly, fetishy, Power Ranger-esque film that includes several naked women, blown holes in baddi...

Pull over, I’m gonna hurl. Houston’s own John Wessling joins the pod as we try to puzzle out how this thing got greenlit. Matt Salinger’s portrayal of Steve Rogers leaves much to be desired and this one commits the cardinal sin of being one of the most boring movies we’ve ever watched. Basically the polar opposite of last week’s AMAZING BULK. Can’t believe Stan Lee and Jack Kirby put their names o...

A so-called “parody” of the HULK films, or was it the Spider-Man films? No one is really sure, but what they are sure of is that they needed a green screen and every available digital 3D model available on the internet in 2009. Astronomical (literally as this involves a plot to destroy the moon) levels of insanity. A deeply unnerving use of Kubrick as subtext while ignoring Kubirckian style subtex...

What is this, Michael Mann’s HEAT? A romdram from the early days of marriage equality, BEN & ARTHUR dares to ask: what if a gay man’s brother is, himself, so incredibly closeted that he goes on a murdering spree in order to cleanse his soul for Jesus? This film was probably sponsored by Teva sandals in some capacity and was almost certainly the inspiration for the Season 2 finale of The OC. 3....

Have you ever wanted to know the origins of the Tunisian telecommunications network? Do you love China? Are you a fan of either Steven Seagal or Mike Tyson? Then have we got a flick for you! This state-funded Chinese propaganda film starring Tyson and Seagal (though never on set at the same time) is chock full of slowmo, bullets, war crimes and enough technobabble to make your boomer parents have...

This Aussie grindhouse face-melter was recently inducted into the American Genre Film Archive, so we take a look and find…well…body melting! And a whole lot of other nonsense that puts you in a dreamlike state of bafflement. There’s also a rather large number of Australians who vaguely look like modern day popular actors and some mutants that throw a rock at a Kangaroo from 300 yards. It’s certain...

A two hour snuff film with lions. Basically. It’s truly wild in every way (get it?). Deeply irresponsible and absolutely spellbinding. We’re talking nearly 100 real life and untrained lions, tigers, cheetahs, panthers, jaguars, cougars, and elephants (!) wreaking havoc on a very brave and stupid film crew. Real blood. Real injuries. Real terror. A family adventure comedy film! No cats were harmed....

The great grandson of Jack The Ripper, now living in Alabama, inherits the ol' murder genes and is now on a quest to bang the reincarnation of his (also murder prone) grandmother….he also drinks blood to stay hard and has given up the knives (mostly) in favor of acid and photography! This film also solidifies Miller Lite as the official beer of murder. 3.45/5 bags of trash. WATCH THE FILM: https:/...

Rage! Honor! Badass bitches! A revenge tale full of crooked cops, secret siblings, and Wall-Street-brokers-turned-meth-heads, this movie passes the Bechdel Test with FLYING colors. Every single woman is a complete badass who holds absolutely nothing back. PLUS two surprise guests! Hannah really likes this one. 3.625/5 bags of trash. WATCH THE FILM: https://tubitv.com/movies/663551/rage-and-honor T...

A 5-time world champion kickboxer! But not a psycho. JD Karpicke joins us as we try to tease out what the hell this movie wanted to accomplish. On the plus side, it has some incredible cranial catastrophes and an ungodly number of B’s. 3.35/5 bags of trash. WATCH THE FILM: https://tubitv.com/movies/614228/psycho-kickboxer?start=true TWITTER: https://twitter.com/trashmoviekings INSTAGRAM: https://w...

The Rashomon of the Amy Fisher story! Three separate films released on the same night from three different perspectives with three different casts. A truly underappreciated moment in 90s tabloid culture. This thing is all three films thrown together with some genius level editing to create a piece of high art trash! It’s trash + trash + trash = A trashterpiece on a new level. ART. UNANIMOUS 5/5 BA...

AC/DC eat your heart out.  The lower Lowe can’t kiss, the entire Stiller family is in Hell and Gilbert Gottfried plays… Hitler. Or a boy mistaken for Hitler. It really depends on who you believe. And who’s gonna believe Hitler?   Completely average in every way. For audio listeners, check out the YouTube video at 33:43 for a montage of Chad Lowe's terrible kissing! UNANIMOUS 3/5 BAGS OF...

Multiple men on fire, bulldozer fights, chainsaw vs meathook brawls, bandsaw to the crotch, Fred Williamson in cool jackets, all of that amidst a beautiful love story of man and his desire to bang his sister...set against the exotic land of Istambul! Oh, and there's a big diamond that kills people. A real crowd pleaser. 4/5 BAGS OF TRASH. WATCH THE FILM: https://tubitv.com/movies/610747/white-fire...

1985? 2005? 2015? Who knows! This thing was made and "released" several times. A better PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN. Rubbin' knees and eatin' belly buttons. 2.7/5 bags of trash WATCH THE FILM: https://tubitv.com/movies/593982/dangerous-men?start=true TWITTER: https://twitter.com/trashmoviekings INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/trashmoviekings/ FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/groups/trashmovieking...

We finally did it! We watched a Bigfoot movie.   A "good movie for a drunk garage." Filled with bad CGI, weird cuts and a Sasquatch suit that belongs in the Smithsonian.   3.125/5 bags of trash.   WATCH THE FILM: https://tubitv.com/movies/522539/suburban-sasquatch?start=true  TWITTER: https://twitter.com/trashmoviekings INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/trashmoviekings/ FACE...

The late B-movie queen Jillian Kesner stars in this martial arts revenge romp through Manila. What it lacks in truly memorable story choices in makes up for in STYLE, IMPALMENT, EYE TRAUMA, and oh… it still has plenty of bizarre choices…even going so far as to do reshoots to add very unnecessary and uncomfortable attempted rape and love(?) scenes. Daddy Darby Hinton chews scenery with his TRACKSUI...

Has there ever been a film that delivers this much of what is promised? Fuggin doubt it. LAS VEGAS BLOODBATH might be one of the most vile films on paper but there is a clear veneer of cartoon on this thing that makes it both inconceivably disgusting and belly achingly funny. A new fantastically absurd choice every minute in this wild ride of psychopathic mayhem. Maybe one of the great pieces of t...

Yeah, that's right.   We receive our first email!   What a wild one. Revisionist trashin' at its finest. Boats, Speedos and bosoms!   3.5/5 bags of trash.   TWITTER: https://twitter.com/trashmoviekings INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/trashmoviekings/ FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/groups/trashmoviekings  trashmoviekings@gmail.com   https://www.trashmoviekings...

This week the Trash Movie Kings took on SCANNER COP (the fourth installment into the Canadian/Cronenberg/SCANNER franchise) and discovered that this time the SCANNERS can SCAN...documents into word processors. We had a couple of audio issues as we are migrating to new computers, but also trigger warning: we talk about vaping sperm. So. Accept us into your hearts. 3.3 bags of trash/perfume bottles...

Don't jerk me off and send me to the Moon! An older episode, recorded in September 2021 shortly after the passing of Norm MacDonald. This week we're joined by Jus' Sum' Bitch Michael Langhausen and Chicago's own Amy Anderson as we watch the movie that bankrupted Trimark Pictures. Not hard to see why.   -35,998.7/5 bags of trash. WATCH THE FILM: https://tubitv.com/movies/519173 TWITTER: https:...

Bazookas! Bazongas! Burning Bodies! Briefcases! A shameless DIE HARD ripoff, 1996's SKYSCRAPER starring Anna Nicole Smith is a little underwhelming. Some incredible stunts, plenty of sex, and a Bud Dry truck. 2.35 bags of trash   WATCH THE FILM: https://tubitv.com/movies/449489/skyscraper  TWITTER: https://twitter.com/trashmoviekings INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/trashmoviekings/...

THINGS is definitely in the conversation for one of the worst films every made. The true terror is in the filmmaking itself! We don't say that jokingly. This movie is bone-chillingly scary simply because of it's creators questionable sanity. 3.25/5 Bags of Trash.   BUY THE FILM: https://www.amazon.com/Things-Barry-J-Gillis/dp/B083CP6TGF/ref=sr_1_3?crid=1WY8EW8AK1A82&keywords=things+movie+...

1987's HOLLYWOOD COP definitely has the most B's we've seen so far! But still kind of a crappy disappointment. There's a great butterfly knife sequence, some very tough to watch sexual assault, and a car chase?   2.375/5 bags.   WATCH THE FILM: https://tubitv.com/movies/519173 TWITTER: https://twitter.com/trashmoviekings INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/trashmoviekings/ FACEBOOK: htt...