Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

Brene Brown said, “All I know is that my life is better when I assume that people are doing their best. It keeps me out of judgement and lets me focus on what is, not what should or could be.” People are always doing the best they can do in that moment. Sometimes their best isn’t very good, and when you stop judging them for their bad behavior and remembering that, in that particular moment, they’...

This Tiny Bite is for leaders. This Tiny Bite is for parents. This Tiny Bite is for anyone who wants to help another being – human or otherwise – reach their full potential. This is highly technical information you’re about to receive, so listen carefully. This information, like everything we do at the Center for Workplace Happiness, is based on neuroscience, positive psychology and neuroplasticit...

You have been through tough times. You have had to overcome obstacles. You have felt held back and held down and locked out. How do I know these things? Because I have, too, and so has everyone else on this planet. We have so much more in common than most people realize, and feeling stuck or obstructed or misunderstood to the point of mistreated is part of the normal human condition. How is it tha...

Where does wisdom come from? Life experience, including making mistakes you learned from, is a great way to gain wisdom. Some people in your life are like gardeners in your soul, seeding wisdom in you gently, patiently and with the knowledge that the seed they planted in you can enrich you for the rest of your life. My mom was wonderful at seeding wisdom – so wonderful, in fact, that my first book...

It’s not your job to make something go away in reality…it is your job to turn your focus to something you’d rather focus on. Wait…what? You heard right…there are very few things in life you’re actually in control of, so chances are, if you’re upset about something going on out in the world, you have minimal to no control over it. What you can control is your focus. If it’s something that’s very up...

Maybe you’ve heard the saying “time heals all wounds.” Maybe you’ve even had the experience of feeling better about something not-optimal after a certain amount of time has passed. And maybe you know someone who seems to never heal from their not-optimal experience. Or maybe you are that person on a topic or two. When Mom died, it took a very long time for me to remember the good times, not her en...

Pay attention to the words you say and the tone of voice you use when saying them. Who is coming out of your mouth? A dear friend occasionally says something to me that feels very judgmental and sharp. For instance, I’m old enough to be growing a random hair on my neck now and then and apparently had one. My friend said, “what is that growing out of your throat” like it was an indictment of my sou...

Control of others isn’t possible. They may make you think you control them for a while, but you don’t. You don’t control their thoughts and you don’t control their feelings. Just as you can’t make someone love you if they don’t love you, you can’t make someone admire you if they don’t admire you. You might be able to boss them around, and that will cause them to feel resentment, not positive feeli...

Playing small – trying to be whatever the people around you want you to be in that moment, instead of being what you want to be – guts your feeling of self-worth, your feeling of confidence and your mental well-being. When you try to be what others want you to be, you’re constantly at the mercy of their whims, their moods and their needs. What about your whims, your moods, and your needs? You have...

High achievers often struggle with overwhelm and imposter syndrome. Let me say that again and say it better this time – high achievers like you often struggle with overwhelm and imposter syndrome. You’ve been driving yourself since you were a child – to get high grades, to take tough classes, to push through until you achieved your goal and then to feel like that goal wasn’t good enough, so you se...

As we go through life, we collect painful experiences. Everyone does, and everyone processes the pain differently. Some people just stash it in the back of their brain and forget it, until something happens that triggers the painful memory. Some people examine the experience and find a satisfying way to fit it into the big picture of their lives. And some people continue to feel the pain of those...

Does your brain keep chewing on something that’s outside of your ability to change? I remember when Dad was in the final stages of Alzheimer’s and my brothers and I made the difficult decision to take away his car keys. I bought his car, and though he was OK with it at first, he came to believe that I stole his car. He began to look at me with hatred in his eyes and the last time I saw him he was...

When it feels an injustice has been done to you, how does it make you feel? Whether it’s a small injustice like someone taking a parking space you were headed for or a large injustice like feeling judged over something outside of your control, that feeling of injustice is you, taking the behavior of others personally. That idea might make you angry at me, and I promise not to take that personally....

The first place where your dream can become a reality is in your imagination. What do you want? I want to live near the beach, and if we’re Facebook friends you see all the posts about the beach that I share. That’s me, imagining my dream and sharing the pictures. When will it become a reality? When it fits easily and seamlessly into my life. What do you want, and can you enjoy your dream until it...

Have you ever worked with someone who pushes your buttons? Whether purposefully or not, when someone sets you off, it’s at least as much your issue as it is theirs. First, the buttons are yours – why are you leaving them lying around for other people to push? Second, a wonderful way to remain calm in the presence of someone who pushes your buttons is to mentally create a beautifully painted wall b...

Do you know someone who is very judgmental? Maybe they voice unflattering opinions about women who carry expensive handbags or people who drive a large vehicle or the neighbors who have a car that doesn’t move very often? They have an opinion about everyone and it’s most often not a very nice one? When someone behaves like that, it’s about them, not about the person they’re judging. It gives you a...

Is there someone in your life who goes off unpredictably, sometimes spewing anger and resentment at you? Yeah, that happens to us all at some point in our lives. Sometimes it’s a person you can avoid being around, and sometimes it’s a co-worker or family member. Yikes…what then? That’s when I want you to don your placid cow persona. There’s someone I have to be around fairly often who is very inse...

Practicing an old belief keeps you in a box. People believe that their beliefs are true, when in fact, a belief is just a thought you keep thinking. That’s the way your brain works – once you’ve thought the same thought a lot, it becomes a hard-wired thought in your brain. You don’t analyze it, and often it feels like the thought could actually be thinking itself without your help. It has become a...

When you’re alone, how do you feel? Anxious? Edgy? Contented? Many people find being alone to be stressful. Others get stressed when they spend too much time surrounded by others. People who are on the introverted end of the introversion/extroversion scale find that being alone allows them to recharge and feel refreshed. People who are on the extroverted end of the scale need to be around people i...

Albert Einstein didn’t say “Don’t wait for miracles – your whole life is a miracle.” His name is taken in vain on thousands of memes all over the internet. No matter who created that beautiful little sentence, it’s true. Your whole life IS a miracle. You started off as a tiny dot in a warm, dark place and have turned into the accomplished, talented, beautiful human being you are. You wake up every...

You may have heard part of what Albert Camus said in his insightful musings about life – the part most often quoted is, “In the midst of winter I found within me an invincible summer.” I want you to take in the entire quote because there is such power in it’s clear-eyed optimism: “My dear, In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love. In the midst of tears, I found there...

You are the author of your life. Every time you get out of bed, you begin creating that day of your life. Every decision you make through that day informs the direction your day and your life will flow. When you allow things from the past to crowd your mind, you don’t allow your creative brain to explore the possibilities of the present. Think about a book – can you ever make it to the end of the...

You’re having a stressful day. You’ve been goinggoinggoing since you walked in the door. People have been grouchy or downright rude. Cases have been puzzling. You haven’t had a break and you feel like you’re about to break. Here’s your science-based stress-busting solution. Go outside. If it’s not pouring down rain, go outside. Even if it’s overcast and the skies look moody, go outside. Take a ten...

Do you feel stuck on the path to wherever you were planning to go? Often, we choose goals for ourselves that make a lot of sense and once accomplished, the results don’t feel as fulfilling as we expect. That’s common, and there are two possibilities – one, maybe you’re just in that space between goals. Explore the possibilities for where you can go now that you’ve achieved the last big goal. The o...

No one can see past their own expectations. This is neuroscience in action – have you ever had this happen? You buy a new car and suddenly you see your car everywhere – maybe a different color, but it’s the same car you just chose. That’s your brain, reinforcing your decision to buy that car. There are far too many things around you that your brain notices for you to take them all in, so your brai...