Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

Are you someone who finds yourself in arguments more than a couple of times a week? Or maybe you live with or work with someone who likes to argue?   What’s the argument really about? Arguments are almost never about what they seem to be about – it’s not whether or not the trash is staying in the kitchen too long or the pants are hanging on the hanger wrong or the copier paper trays were all...

When did that phrase “use your words” become popular? Best guess is sometime in the late 1980’s or early 90’s when it started showing up in parenting books, television shows and comedian’s stand-up routines. While it’s an odd way to phrase it, “use your words” is great advice. We all think people understand us way more than they do. Even those closest to us don’t know what’s really going on inside...

Are you facing a problem right now? Does it feel big, like something you’re not sure you can handle? Usually I tell you to let go of the past, but at times like this it can be good to embrace the past. Specially selected pieces of the past, though. Grab a pen and paper and give yourself a few minutes to think of times in the past when you faced a big problem. Don’t concentrate on the problem, just...

A lot of people are in leadership positions they didn’t really seek out. I’ve been there once or twice – you, too? Maybe you’re perceived as the leader because you’re in a decision-making position, even though you’re not technically the staff supervisor. That can be tough – you have all of the responsibilities with none of the authority, and yet the staff still looks to you for direction. Even if...

Do you know anyone who’s trying to find themselves? Maybe you? The feeling of being lost in your own life is disconcerting – it can feel like you’ve been set adrift in an ocean of unknown. The feeling of needing to find yourself often happens in the wake of a major life change, like the loss of a loved one or relationship, or a life milestone like graduation or marriage. Suddenly there’s a very ne...

Are you stuck in a land of fairy tale expectations? No, I’m serious – many people grow up believing that life should be like a fairy tale. They don’t intentionally believe it – they read and heard those fairy tale stories so often in their lives that they internalized a false narrative filled with heroes and villains. In those fairy tales, the villains get their come-uppance, and the heroes live h...

There are a lot of cliches about laughter: Laughter is the best medicine. Laugh until you cry. Laugh all the way to the bank. He who laughs last laughs loudest. I’ll be having the last laugh. I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you. There is no doubt that laughter is good for you, body and soul. Laughing releases your body’s feel-good chemicals, lowering your blood pressure and easing stres...

Your life is created by the stories you tell. What kind of stories are you telling? And are you mentally arguing with this premise right now? It’s ok…many people would. My Grandma Faught told stories of her poor health, poor bodily functions, and poor relationships with people. She was always the unfortunate, sad focus of her stories, and her life, just like her stories, was filled with doctor vis...

Do you know someone who is the strong, silent type? Maybe you? People who seem to go through life meeting every challenge, quietly dealing with major life problems, and being the rock for others are easy to take for granted. They don’t ask for help. They don’t even seem to need help. The strong, silent type is the person others go to for help, and then move on when their problems abate. The strong...

What do you love? I love stars, sand on my toes, silliness from my dogs, pumping tunes when I’m rolling down the road, and the toy that grows out of the top of my head, my hair. I love my independent streak, my pretty, fun-to-drive car, clouds, and the sound of moving water. What do you love? Make a list of the things you love and beside each item, rate it for how often you focus on and enjoy that...

Are you good at what you do? Sure you are – because that’s who you are. You show up and do the best you can do every day. Are you an expert at what you do? If you’re like most people, you might resist calling yourself an expert out of modesty or maybe even a bit of imposter syndrome. You know things. You have experiences. You have a unique point of view, and when that’s added to your experience an...

There are a lot of examples of overcoming adversity in the world around us. Salmon swim upstream and leap up waterfalls – it’s their only way to keep the species going. Trees sway in wild storms, sometimes losing branches but remaining flexible enough to remain standing against Mother Nature’s worst. Airplanes take off against the wind, not with it – it’s the only way to get the lift needed to def...

Do you have a manager who behaves badly? What if, instead of expecting them you change, you embrace their style as an opportunity for you to grow? Radical thought, right? First, you can’t make them change. Second, you’re part of their team, which means you report to them and they have a certain amount of control over your livelihood and advancement. When you break it down like that, you have two m...

Would you like to know how you can be a more compassionate person? Would you be thrilled to learn that you can become more compassionate in the privacy of your own life, without having to go anywhere or learn something new and complex or even break a sweat? And would you be chomping at the bit if I told you that the same thing that’ll make you more compassionate will also help your physical health...

A friend recently gave money to a woman sitting in car that had a flat tire. Something told her the woman wasn’t fine, even though she said she was. When she shared the story, she said, “May we love those who are in front of us.” Does that sentence hit you like a prayer, too? May we always love those who are in front of us. Do you have a hard time asking for help? Most people do, so when you feel...

When you’re around someone who’s in a really good mood, does that make you feel uplifted, too? Researchers at Harvard and University of California San Diego conducted a study of about 5,000 people over the course of 20 years and found that one person’s happiness affects those around them positively. They put data to anecdotal evidence and in so doing, showed just how powerful that one person’s hap...

We’re taught from childhood to solve problems. Weigh the pros and cons of a situation and choose the appropriate plan of action. We learn well that when we can figure out what’s wrong, we can fix it. What we’re not taught is to evaluate a problem and decide whether or not it’s ours to fix. Much of the stress many people feel is because they’re struggling with solving problems that they simply can’...

There are times in every life that are tough. Been a teenager may seem like a wonderful time, except that for most teens there are conflicting expectations from adults coupled with the struggle to understand their changing bodies. Graduation may seem like a wonderful time, except that for most people it’s a huge shift in focus coupled with the uncertainty of putting that degree to work. Marriage a...

“People might think I’m weird.” “I might not get it right.” “What if it turns out badly?” So many people limit their own horizons because of thoughts like these. I’ve limited myself with those kinds of thoughts…I remember never wanting to do sports in school because I wanted to be good at it and feared I wasn’t. Have you limited yourself too? In a conversation with Mom when I was about 16 years ol...

Have you been hurt by someone you loved and trusted? Most people have at some point in their lives. We know what our hurt feels like and have no idea how others feel about the broken trust and broken heart, so it’s easy to discount the pain of others while feeling like our pain is different, and maybe even worse. Stop. Stop so many things about that scenario. First, stop comparing yourself to othe...

Maybe something like this has happened in your office or your life: someone tells you something about another person, and what you hear makes you feel a bit guarded about that person. Maybe you think back on something that happened that you didn’t understand, and now, with this new information, it makes perfect sense. That person is bad! They’re stirring up intrigue…they’re trying to take your job...

My friend Arvind is as wise as he is outspoken. His Facebook posts always garner a lot of attention and a fair amount of debate. So when he wrote, “What a boring world it would be if we all agreed on everything. Respectful debate, engaging conversations, and varied opinions make life flavorful and colorful. No one ever has to agree for me to know I am right” I laughed out loud and asked permission...

Do you notice when something feels wrong? Do you feel the little hairs on the back of your neck bristle? Do you get that “iceberg in the pit of the stomach” feeling that’s apprehensive to the point of being fearful? What do you do when you notice your body reacting like that? Please get into the habit of paying close attention. Your body can sense things in ways that science is only just now begin...

Is life feeling hard for you right now? In everyone’s life there are times when it feels like we’re the punching bag and life is just landing blows hard and fast. First, remember that it’s just a chapter in your life, not your whole life. Second, instead of focusing on the hard things, look for what’s softer and easier to focus on. Things like the fur of your pet, the feel of the sun on your skin,...

What are you thinking of right now? What are you doing right now? How are you feeling right now? And why am I asking so many nosey questions right now? Because right now matters. A lot. Right now is your life. You can spend right now thinking about the past, and you’re using up your right now by doing that. You can spend your right now procrastinating, and you’re using up your right now doing that...