Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

If I asked you what bothers you most, you could probably tell me a list of things pretty quickly. It’s ok – that’s a very human trait. Even the most positive people focus often enough on what bothers them that they could spit out a list, too. The thing that very positive people have in common is that they also focus on what delights them. They created the habit – consciously or not – of noticing a...

Are you a leader, either in your family, your job or your life? Most of us are leaders in one way or another, whether we know it or not. People look to us for cues on how to navigate a problem in the office, how to deal with yet another break-up, or maybe it’s your child looking to you for reassurance that there really are no imaginary monsters. In order to be the best leader possible, tap into yo...

Are you looking for love? Lots of people are – they are either looking for a better relationship than the one they’re currently in, or are looking to be in a relationship. Often, in the looking, people choose relationship partners that are just like the ones they’ve had in the past…some people like to be with people they can help, some like to be with people who like to argue…you’ve seen it in you...

A few years ago, I was training one of my dogs in the local park. We were working on a musical freestyle routine – basically a string of dog tricks set to music, so we appeared to be dancing. I overheard someone say, “wow she has no inhibitions at all!” as if it was a bad thing. When Duffy and I finished up our training session, loaded up and headed home, and as I drove, I thought about the person...

A colleague of mine was cleaning her office recently and ran across a box of childhood paperwork. She found something she’d done in kindergarten, a fill-in-the-blank sheet that the teacher handed out. Her 5-year-old self loved having gym class, making things and defined happiness as “when somebody makes somebody else happy.” Fast-forward to her grown-up self, and Christine often reminds audiences...

There is one word you need to remember when you’re feeling overwhelmed. It doesn’t matter what is going on in your life that is creating the feeling of overwhelm – it could be personal, financial, professional, or even all of the above all at once. There’s still only one word you need to remember… ONE. All of life is one step at a time, one task at a time, one moment at a time and one breath at a...

Today I got some push-back on creating success through creating mental wellbeing and happiness. “It can’t be that simple or everyone would be doing it” is what was said. And I agree – it does sound easy, these little game-braining tools I throw out there for you to use. The process is simple – but not easy. The tools are simple – but not easy to remember to use. Remember, the same brain you’re try...

Doubt is the destroyer of magic. Don’t doubt me on this. You know that feeling when a great idea pops into your mind? You can’t wait to see how it will play out…can’t wait to start working on the planning stages…can’t wait to tell friends and loved ones all about it. And then that little voice inside your head pipes up with all of the reasons why it can’t and won’t work. Doubt begins, and once dou...

Is there someone in your life who tries to control you through their expectations of you? It might be a parent or a boss or a friend – anyone. They might look at you after your latest hair appointment and it looks like they smelled something stinky. They might ignore your good work and point out your shortcomings on a project. They might make passive-aggressive comments about your weight or your c...

Do you ever find yourself comparing where you are in your life, your career or your knowledge with someone else? It’s very human to measure ourselves against others, and it’s also very human to believe they’re better off, smarter or luckier than we are. It’s that negativity bias at work again – our brains are wired to go to the negative conclusion more than to a positive one. When you find yoursel...

When you think about your day yesterday, does it feel like it was a successful day, a so-so day or a frustrating day? Stop whatever you’re thinking about right now and think about yesterday. Who did you smile at yesterday? Who were you kind to yesterday? Who did you compliment yesterday? Whose life did you save yesterday, maybe even without knowing it? Now how does yesterday feel? We’re so good at...

Are you a recovering perfectionist, too? One of the ways that perfectionism showed up in my life was that I wouldn’t try things I felt I couldn’t do. Can you imagine what that did to my self-confidence? Yep, if you just thought “ gutted it” you’re exactly right. When we’re hard on ourselves, expecting perfection from even our first try at something, it often means we lead self-limiting lives and l...

Do you worry? Have you been called a worry wart? What the heck is worry, anyway? Worry in a person with a normally-functional brain is a bad habit that the brain has created – that’s all it is. Our brains have a negativity bias, which means that it’s easier to think a negative thought than it is to think a positive one. Over time, you have let the brain focus on potential negative outcomes, which...

Can I give you a piece of advice? Most people don’t need advice. Oops… I think I just screwed up right there! When someone is struggling and needs help, it’s human nature to want to help them , and some help is great and some help is very unhelpful. I’ll give you a ridiculous example – say someone has fallen on the sidewalk and you rush to help them up. Helpful – yay, you! If you then go on to tel...

Are you in a place in life where you’re feeling out of control? Like the river of life is sweeping you downstream and you not only don’t have an oar to help you steer, you don’t even have a canoe? What if I told you that’s one of the most powerful places in life to be because of the potential to learn and grow? When you feel out of control, don’t fight the feeling, believe it. Most of what happens...

Do you ever get advice from people, warning you that when you’re old you’ll wish you did things differently?   I’m childless by choice. Even when I was only single-digits old I knew I didn’t want to raise children. Well-meaning people said things like, “who will take care of you when you’re old” and “ some day when it’s too late you’ll regret not having a family.”  People who say things...

Is there someone you know who is unkind to you, or unkind about you behind your back? At some point in most peoples’ lives we have to deal with a petty, insecure, bitter person who targets us with gossip, hostility and even bullying. It’s not fun to be the recipient of this kind of treatment – believe me, I’ve been there! – and it’s easy to feel like we have to defend ourselves against it. Don’t ....

Do you feel good when someone compliments you? Most people like when someone else notices them in a positive way. And yet it can be tough to acknowledge the compliment . Often, instead of accepting the compliment, they parry back with something like, “oh, I just threw this outfit on – it’s nothing special,” or “ you think my hair looks good? It’s so unruly today!” I f you respond to compliments in...

Have yo u ever pushed through physical exhaustion? Have you ever kept working on something when your brain was fried? Have you ever been on the brink of tears, swallowed hard and hidden your feelings from those around you? Society puts up statues for people who’ve done heroic things, which makes us think that we should push ourselves hard – far too hard sometimes. When you deny your body the rest...

Do you feel ashamed when you fail at something?  Many people do – it’s   almost like   we’re hard-wired to beat ourselves up when things don’t go as we planned. Can I give you a different way to feel? And remember that you can feel one way, decide it’s not the way you want to feel, and talk yourself into a different feeling – that’s called neuroplasticity and you can rewire your bra...

Someone I know lives in a bubble of her own creating. She can’t see beyond the bubble, and inside her bubble everyone has the potential to be evil. She sees bad motives nearly everywhere , even in what the rest of us would consider very benign behavior. When anyone tries to suggest that not everything is bad, she’s   very good at pointing out the badness in even the best things. Do you know s...

Maybe you’ve heard the saying, “perception is reality.” In marketing this is proved over and over again as people pay more money for an inferior product that they’ve been led to believe is superior and necessary in their lives. There’s a more personal application though – what you believe is what you see. Your perception of an event is shaped by all the life you’ve lived before that event, and by...

Can you give yourself 5 minutes at some point today? Five minutes alone, just you and a pen and a blank piece of paper? Just five minutes…can you do it? When you do, here’s a mental game you can play that can help focus you on what matters in your life. When you’re alone, take a minute to think about your dream life – who’s in it? What’s in it? Where is it? Write it all down on that blank piece of...

Do you ever look back on things you’ve done in the past and felt bad about how you behaved? Maybe you think you over-reacted, or maybe you think you were unfair or unkind. Maybe you even feel shame to the point of blushing or wanting to cry every time you think of it? That’s your body, reminding you that your brain can’t tell the difference between the event and memories of the event. Here’s the d...

Quick…do a body-check . Where are your muscles tight? In your forehead? Your jaw? Your neck or your hands? Chances are that at least one of those places in your body was holding some tension instead of being relaxed.   Do you ever wonder what that is? That’s stress hormones expressing themselves in your body. One of the most common places we hold stress is in our shoulders, clenching upper ba...