Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

How boring would this life be if everything stayed the same all the time? You’d never desire a new outfit or a new car or a new career because there wouldn’t be any “new” available – everything was just as it always was. How boring would your coworkers or your partner or you be if you stayed the same all the time? Change drives learning, change drives personal growth, and change is what keeps life...

You are a living, breathing body made of potential. Potential love, potential learning, potential teaching, potential sharing, potential giving – you are enormous potential. Notice I didn’t say “you HAVE enormous potential” – you ARE enormous potential. What part of that potential are you using? For most of us, “not enough” is the answer. There are lots of reasons we don’t realize our potential –...

Is something ending in your life? Maybe it’s a job, or a relationship, or maybe you’re watching their world get smaller as someone you love nears the end of their life. Endings feel scary because of the unknown and sometimes unknowable “what’s next” question. Our brains like to run patterns, and in patterns there is sameness, not change. Endings mean change, and even though the world is constantly...

How much time do you spend thinking about things that have already happened? Mulling something over in order to learn and grow can be a productive use of that time, but most of the time that’s not what’s going on up in our craniums. Reliving old hurts, replaying difficult conversations, and blushing all over again from the memory of past embarrassing moments is much more common – when our brains h...

There is value in even the most stressful, difficult situation. That’s the truth, and yet finding the value while in the middle of the stress is hard to do. Normal emotions like anger, helplessness, and grief are more likely to crop up amidst difficulties – feel them and try not to act from their influence. Having a sentence you can say to yourself to ease the stress is helpful to many people, mys...

Do you need people to understand you? Most of us do, at least at some point in our life. One of the benefits of the grey hair that sprouts from my head is that it reminds me how far I’ve come and how much I’ve grown, and I want to share this perspective with you. I used to think that if people understood my thought process they would see things my way or do things a different way or understand me...

Do you feel strong right now? Not physically strong, though that’s good too – emotionally strong. Do you feel like you could tackle a big problem if it was dropped on your desk right now? No? What would it take for you to feel strong enough? Being strong is simply deciding to be strong. Deciding to make more decisions. Deciding to take a few more risks. Deciding it’s ok to make a mistake so you ca...

How hard is it for you to apologize? For many of us, apologies don’t come easily – as a matter of fact, people usually take the “ignore it and hope it blows over” approach instead of the stronger, more emotionally mature step of apologizing. Recently a friend was irritated by something I was part of, and she took that irritation out on me loudly and publicly. She’s a friend that I know is prone to...

Think back on the last hour of your life – were you existing or were you living? Were you just going through the motions of your normal day or did something happen that stretched your abilities, your knowledge or maybe even your patience? Did you dance a little bit as you moved from place to place? Did you sing or hum or hug someone who was hurting? Did you learn something new, question something...

When I was a child I often heard grown-ups say that if we just had a good person as President, the problems in America could be easily solved. Then Jimmy Carter was elected and he was an outsider to Washington DC politics who couldn’t get anything done. While his record as a President is debatable, his record as a good person who led a life of service isn’t. He and his wife Rosalynn gave countless...

Answer this question without thinking – are you beautiful? Chances are you don’t describe yourself that way – most people don’t. If you’re like me, you were raised on a diet of sayings like “beauty is only skin deep,” and “pretty is as pretty does,” as well as “looks are fleeting – character matters.” In those subtle little words was born in most of us the idea that it’s not important or maybe eve...

Is there someone you deal with regularly who is careless with your time, talent, or treasure? By that I mean that they expect more from you than you’d really like to give them, and yet because you’re a kind, giving person, you haven’t said anything to them about it. Yep, that’s me, too, sometimes, so this Tiny Bite is for us both. When you allow someone to devalue your time, your abilities or your...

Are you in the middle of a big, fat, interpersonal mess? One where you’re feeling wildly misunderstood and mistreated? Want to find a way to feel better about the situation quickly? Ask yourself “what if.” What if the person who yelled at me was having a bad day? What if the nagging ache in my knee is just a little pulled muscle? What if the important document I’m looking for shows up like magic w...

Recently I was talking to an acquaintance whose life is in turmoil. She’d suffered the loss of her partner, the business they’d built was in jeopardy without him there, and she was being kicked out of the house they’d lived in together by the owner, who’d never liked her very much. She told me the details of everything, and told me all the different things that could happen as a result of the uphe...

Don’t you love that moment when something you’ve been wishing and hoping and planning and maybe even praying for happens? Those moments in our lives a re high spots for a reason, and did you ever notice that you don’t stay in that extreme happiness very long? That’s OK, and it’s perfectly human that you would return to your normal emotional state soon after having that moment – maybe hours, maybe...

Don’t you just hate to make a mistake in front of other people? Recently I made a very stupid, very public mistake that dozens of people saw. My younger, less experienced self would have tried to disappear, tried to explain it away, and apologized to anyone and everyone who would listen. I would then have spent the rest of the day and maybe a bunch of the next day kicking myself and reliving the e...

Do you have a goal of being in a deep, committed relationship that will change your life? Are you looking for – or maybe waiting for – someone who will be part of your life, and will help you be the best person you can be? Maybe you’ve dreamed all your life of the person who will sweep you off your feet and transform your life forever? If this sounds like you, even if it’s just in your heart of he...

Don’t you hate it when things are not going well, and it feels like everything is spiraling out of control around you? When your brain is spinning is not the time for some well-meaning woo-woo know-it-all to tell you to just breathe, so I’m going to tell you now and tell you why it’s exactly what you need to do. That way, next time you feel that “spinning out of control” feeling, you can override...

Do you have times in your life that you feel like you’re at the bottom of a deep hole with no way to climb out of it? When you’re feeling stressed – when you’re feeling disrespected – when you’re feeling down on the world or yourself – try this: take in the space around you. What colors do you see? What fragrances do you smell? What does the air feel like? What does the chair you’re sitting on or...

Many people have a hard time asking for help. Maybe you were raised to be self-reliant, maybe you have a tiny streak of perfectionism – or a big one – or maybe you’re very introverted and it feels like you’re imposing on the other person when you ask for help. Try thinking about it this way – asking for help isn’t giving up, it’s refusing to give up. It’s saying to yourself and to the world that t...

Does it feel like you’re toiling away at something and not getting anywhere? Banging your head against the wall? Digging in and digging away at it and still not getting to where you need to go? The frustration you might be feeling is counterproductive – can you find another way to look at it? What if the work you’re doing now is exactly what needs to be done in order to achieve your dreams? What i...

Are you at a place in your life where it feels like something major has to change? Maybe the end of a relationship, the end of the usefulness of your job, or the end of living in one place? The more life you’ve lived, the more of these junctions you’ve probably been faced with. While any decision is better than staying stuck and stagnating where you are, before you make a major decision, it’s good...

How do you typically respond when something you really want seems ridiculously difficult to attain or achieve? For most of us, there might be a petulant moment or two before we rise to the challenge. A shining example of a person who rode the waves of social injustice against her gender and her skin color with great style, wisdom and talent was Aretha Franklin. Her musical career arc ran alongside...

Have you ever had this experience? You break up with someone and suddenly they’re interested in you, attentive to you, and appreciating you the way you wanted them to when you were together. I’m not just talking about a romantic relationship - this goes for relationships of all kinds – romantic attachments, friendships, and working relationships or partnerships.  There are people who really c...

When you embark on something brand new, how do the people around you behave? What do they say, and what is their attitude? Do they use supportive language like “wow, I’m excited for you” or do they say things like “what makes you think that you can do that?” Instead of hearing just the words, pay attention to the people who are saying them. Are you surrounded with supportive, helpful people? Or ar...