Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

Do you dread life’s monkey wrenches? You know, the things you didn’t see coming that cause you major upheaval for weeks, months, and sometimes years? Most people dislike change of any kind, and yet one of life’s certainties is that things always change, and some of the change will be hard to cope with. The hard times show you how strong you are. They bolster your confidence in yourself by remindin...

When was the last time you looked up in the sky and saw the Milky Way and about a billion stars? For me, it doesn’t happen often. I’ve lived in large cities my whole adult life, where there’s so much light pouring into the sky that only a smattering of stars and a planet or two are bright enough to be seen. Only in the darkness can you see the stars, and that’s a good metaphor for life, too, thoug...

Are you feeling unappreciated today? Quick – get a pen or pencil and a piece of paper. Go with me on this – the brain locks onto and believes things that occur with multi-modal input, like the feel of paper in your hand, the flow of ink or graphite onto that paper, the sound of the words appearing on the paper, and the vision of the words you’re about to write. I don’t want to go all Miss Manners...

Do you know someone who defines themselves by the things they’ve lived through? Most of us do – the most vivid example in my life was Grandma Faught, who was a big, fat, medical mess. She wasn’t really – she was actually very healthy. She had her appendix out at a young age and the drama of that event seemed to define her life. No matter what ailment you had, she’d tell you she had it worse. And s...

Beliefs are interesting things. Most people hold beliefs that they don’t question – it’s 100%, non-negotiable truth. Here’s a common one: the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Yeah…no. That belief is patently, demonstrably untrue and yet most people will tell you it’s true and some will even argue for their long-held belief. Let’s not even get started on politics, guns, and religion – wh...

Do you ever feel overwhelmed? Most of us do, and when that happens, it’s usually because we’re focused in the wrong place. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you’re focused on the uncertainty of the future instead of the reality of today. Wait – what? I’ll say it again. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when you’re focused on the uncertainty of the future instead of the reality of today. The brai...

(Get ready to roll your eyes if you’d like to, and please listen anyway. Those most likely to dish up eyerolls at this information are the ones who need it most.) The self-care drumbeat is loud – everywhere people tell you that you need a regular self-care practice. What you don’t hear a lot is why it’s important, so here you go. Straight from the National Institute for Mental Health – self-care h...

Mom used to tell me, “Sandy, you don’t have to tell everything you know.” Of course she was right and of course it took me a long time to truly understand the depth of that sentence. It’s not just about spilling the beans to your Great-Aunt Carla that Mom thinks she’s a bad cook, it’s about so much more than that. Have you ever said something you felt you absolutely, positively had to say, only to...

Are there things, incidents or people that get on your last nerve? Or maybe they even cause you to feel instant anger? This is juicy stuff – take a few minutes today and write down the people and things that make you mad: slow cars in the left lane, your co-worker talking loudly on her phone, someone asking you for help and then not taking your advice – whatever sets you off, write it down. You’ll...

Are you having a “what was I thinking” kind of day? You know, the one where you second-guess your career choice, desire to have children, or maybe something as simple as your hairstyle? When you start second-guessing your previous decisions, one thing is an absolute truth – you’re doing it from a different knowledge set than you had when you made the decision. Think about it – when you decided wha...

Once upon a time there was a princess who lived in a palace. Then a prince rode up to the palace gates, took the princess by the hand, and – you know this part by heart – they lived happily every after. Right – no real relationship – whether the prince represents the perfect romantic partner or the perfect job or the perfect boss – ever works like that. There are actions and reactions all around,...

Is it better to be loving or loved? This isn’t a trick question, and the answer is “to be loving.” The brain responds to your feelings of love the same way, whether you’re loving a flower, a new manicure, or your romantic partner. When the pheromones of another person come into play, that’s when love turns to lust, which isn’t what we’re talking about here. Love in its simplest form is a deep appr...

Are you having a bad day? First, I’m sorry – bad days suck, and it can be tough to pull yourself out of the funk that often goes with having a bad day. Some days are just a get-through, so if that’s what your goal is today – just to get through it – then here’s something that might help. No matter what’s gone wrong today, it’s gone right, too. If you made a mistake, that might feel wrong to you. W...

Are you someone who avoids confrontation? Many of us are and it’s not a bad way to be, it just means we’re not practiced at having hard conversations with people who may not take them well. People who like to argue love confrontational conversations, which means that those of us who don’t often feel like we “lost” the conversation. Here’s a different way to think about hard conversations, especial...

Do you know how to turn your own bad mood around? Many people don’t, and they get stuck in a negative mindset for days on end – and sometimes for a whole lifetime, sadly. It’s especially sad because turning a mood around is within your power, and it’s only within your power. No one can make you feel better without your permission and cooperation – you are the one who has to be willing to make the...

How does consistency show up in your life? Some people are very consistent about their exercise, some write in a diary every day, while some wouldn’t know what consistency was if it bit them on the bee-hind. Why does consistency matter? For you personally, it’s important to create habits that support your mental and physical wellbeing. Many of these kinds of habits were created in childhood – brus...

Let people be wrong about you. It’s OK – what they think about you is who they are, not who you are. You don’t owe any kind of explanation to anyone, and when you explain, people who misunderstand you already will continue to misunderstand you. That’s who they are…they’ve already decided you’re kind of pathetic, so when you start trying to explain yourself all they’ll see is evidence of what they...

If someone calls you annoying, how do you feel? If someone looks at you and then whispers to the person next to them, how do you feel? If someone looks at you and makes an odd face like they just smelled something unpleasant, how do you feel? If you would feel uncomfortable or somehow not good enough, then you’re letting another person dictate your emotions. Let that sink in – if someone says or d...

Do you sometimes beat yourself up because of something you did? Maybe you made a mistake that cost your company time or money, or maybe you said something that hurt another person’s feelings, and for the rest of the day, and maybe even the next day and far into the future, you relive that mistake and wish you hadn’t made it? Why do we do that to ourselves? The reasoning part of our brains aren’t f...

What nice thing do you do for yourself on a regular basis? Seriously – think about it – what nice thing do you do for yourself that you don’t have to do? A dear friend who now lives in the stars was a feng shui expert, and several years back came to my new home to help create a welcoming, nurturing home environment. I had purchased flowers the day before and we talked about how pretty they were. M...

How do you react when your world is rocked? I saw a meme recently that said, “Sometimes holding on does more damage than letting go.” It reminded me of the divorce that happened in my life several years back. When confronted with a partner who didn’t want to be married anymore, I was shocked to hear the words, “Well, this was never about ownership” come out of my mouth. Recently, when talking with...

What is magic? Is it a man on stage, making his beautiful assistant disappear? Is it a genie who lives in a lamp, waiting to grant wishes? Is it a Disney princess, waving her arm and creating magnificent ice palaces? What if I told you that magic is looking out the window at just the right moment to see a hummingbird hovering, looking at you? What if I told you that magic is being outside, wearing...

What is creativity? If you remember your childhood, maybe creativity was making a paperweight for your dad out of a baby food jar and rocks, with gold spray paint for the rocks and the jar lid. Generation Alpha, the children born since 2010, might view creativity as using AI to create fun images from a simple cellphone pic. Creativity is also thinking outside the box to find a solution to a proble...

Competition can bring out the worst in some people. Competition can also be a powerful way to bring out the best in yourself. Choosing your competition is the first and most important step. Will you compete against someone who you know you can beat? Where’s the sport in that? Will you compete against someone you know is far, far better than you? Where’s the fun in that? When you choose the perfect...

Can you think of a time in your childhood when you were deliciously, easily, simply happy? I remember a Girl Scout meeting held in the local park where a man brought a bunch of different African drums and taught us all how to play them – how to coax a rhythm out of wood and skin with simple adjustments of how your hand landed on them. How to squeeze the drum under your elbow or between your knees...