Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

Isn’t it nice when a friend texts you or calls you out of the blue, just to say “hi”? You popped into their head, and they took a minute – ok, in some cases, 45 – to let you know they were thinking about you. How do you feel when that happens? Pretty good, right? Research on social interactions and how they affect both the giver and the receiver shows several interesting findings: The person think...

What is intuition? Turns out, scientists, psychologists, and researchers can’t quite agree on what it is, though they do agree that it’s pretty tough to measure or track. Most of us have had intuitive hits that we’ve felt, followed, and had positive outcomes result. Yet trying to make that happen “on demand” is tough – kind of like waiting for lightning to strike the same tree a second time in the...

Have you ever been walking down the street and tripped a little bit? After the momentary fear of falling, maybe you felt very self-conscious, and maybe you even blushed a little bit, wondering if anyone saw you trip. Caring about what others think is a human trait. We’re social creatures and have an innate desire to fit in, which can lead to caring too much about what others think about us. Using...

Do you ever wish you were taller or prettier or whateverer? Welcome to the human race! I always wanted to be tall – 5’8” was my goal. Nowhere in my family tree did tall women appear, and yet I was sure I could be taller than the 5’4” I topped out at. For years, I felt inadequate and like a failure over not reaching my goal height. How idiotic is that? Wishful thinking can take an unhealthy turn wh...

Think about the times the voice inside your head said something nice about you. You might have to think hard about it – our brain’s negativity bias makes it dish up far more negative thoughts about us than positive ones. A National Science Foundation study found that nearly 80% of a person’s thoughts are negative and 95% of those are repetitive thoughts. What kinds of thoughts? (Specific co-worker...

Is there someone who always rains on your parade? There you are, having a perfectly good day, and then they have to point out something wrong with you, or with something you’re doing? It feels like they’re always poised and ready to take you down a few notches, right? Can you believe me when I tell you that behavior is more about them than it is about you? You’re shining your light on the world in...

We hear it a lot – be authentic. What does that mean, actually? When you are authentic, you aren’t apologizing or hiding part of who you know yourself to be. You’re not hiding behind a mask or contorting yourself for the approval of others. When you’re authentic, you allow your pain and your joy to show. People know that you’re human and you have experiences similar to their own. When you’re authe...

Who could disagree with love? Turns out, almost everyone. For most people in most cases, love is a condition instead of a feeling. Examples include: rude person gender identification religion political leaning ethnicity   When faced with those differences, many people choose to not love. Some may keep their disapproval to themselves, and some may use language and behavior as a way to distance...

Do you lead a team? Then you probably have communication issues from time to time, and hopefully not all the time! Whenever two or more humans get together, there’s bound to be misunderstandings. An author can’t be a good editor of their own book because they know what they mean. Their sentences and metaphors make perfect sense to them and may not to their readers. If people came with an editor fo...

Want to know how someone feels about you? Pay attention to their actions. They will show you if your feelings matter to them or not. They will show you if you’re a priority in their life or not. They will show you if your investment of time and emotion in them will pay off or crash and burn. Don’t listen to their words, sweet as they may sound. Most people believe what they’re saying to you as the...

Quick…how negative are your thoughts right now? Think about what you were just mulling over in your mind – were they worrisome thoughts, stressful choices, or even fear about your future? According to the American Psychological Association, American adults report higher stress levels now than they did before the pandemic, with 62% of women between the ages of 18 and 34 saying that most days they f...

Do you make space in your week for fun? You remember fun – it lived inside you when you were a child, seemed to become more of a neighbor when you moved out on your own, and the more responsibilities you shoulder, the farther away fun seems to be. Invite fun to come and play with you. Think about what you really enjoy doing – for some, it’s playing a sport, for some it’s going for a long run, for...

Why do we vilify the concept of ego? We work to become self-aware, and yet many people use the word “ego” like it’s a bad thing. We work to become self-confident and then cringe when others call us egotistical because they can’t deal with our confidence. The dictionary describes ego as “a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance.” In psychoanalysis, ego is the part of the mind that is resp...

We think there are thoughts we’re not aware of driving our actions and that’s sort of right and sort of wrong. What we really have going on inside our noggins is the brain running patterns, and because we don’t have to think about them, it feels like unconscious thoughts to us. The patterns our brains know how to run are varied and wonderful, and we started learning them the moment we were bo...

One of my dogs has decided that the chipmunks living under the sun porch are more interesting than coming inside the house. I discovered this the hard way one night when I was ready to go to bed and put the dogs out for their last potty of the night. Three hours later she finally decided that coming inside might be more fun than trying to catch the uncatchable. During that three-hour detour from s...

When was the last time you watched a child playing with nothing more than a few little things and their imagination? They didn’t know anyone was watching so they weren’t performing or trying to do something right, they were just there, in the moment, delighted with whatever they were imagining. Could you see their heart shining? Could you feel their intense concentration, or maybe their vivid imag...

If you’re in a low period in your life, no matter what the reason, it can feel like your soul is being sucked right out of your body, or like you’re being held down with a huge boulder. The feeling of being exhausted is real, and it can be very easy to just crawl under the covers and hide from the world. If you ever feel like that, remember this one tool that can help you feel better in just a few...

Have you ever been around a narcissist? It’s exhausting – they have an unrealistic sense of their own wonderfulness, and believe others should pay special attention to them and do special things for them. They believe their position on everything is right, and if you disagree, then you’re the problem and you are wrong. Your negative reactions are personal attacks on them, and some days it feels li...

Do you know someone who complains a lot? It doesn’t matter what they complain about – they just seem to have a complaint about almost everything? People like that can be very hard to be around, yet sometimes you don’t really have a choice. Maybe you work with them, maybe you live with them, or maybe they’re a friend or relative you see from time to time. It’s not fun to be around a Debbie or Denni...

Do you work or live with someone who always seems to want to prove their worthiness? Here’s what that might sound like: “I’ve taken care of the slide deck so you don’t need to worry about it.” “Sure I’ll stay late again tonight.” “Do you think this dress makes my butt look big?” While statements like these made occasionally are normal, if you live or work with – or maybe are – someone who says thi...

Has someone ever said to you, “You’re never satisfied” like it’s a bad thing? News flash – it isn’t. It’s normal and natural to evolve and grow as you move through time. You’re still the same person you were when you were 8 years old, and yet you’re also not that person at all. Your body is very different, your knowledge is very different, your talents and skills are very different, so it’s only n...

Have you ever had a boss who was bossy? By that I mean they told you what to do, and then got onto you when it wasn’t done at the point they thought it should be or in exactly the way they thought it should be. How did that boss make you feel? Valued? Appreciated? As an important part of their team? Now, have you ever had a boss who was curious? By that I mean they asked you early on what your str...

Who do you love and admire? Think about it – who are the people in your life that you consistently learn from, like to be around, and look up to? Chances are, those are people who’ve navigated some difficulties in their lives, and learned how to retain or regain their balance and move on. That characteristic is called resilience, and people who are resilient got that way through life experiences t...

Ouch – did someone just hurt your feelings? That’s not fun, and when the same person does it often enough, it’s a good sign for you to examine the quality of that relationship. Do they truly not care about your feelings or do they have a different way of expressing themselves, one that you’re not comfortable with? Everyone grows up with different people around them, talking to them and treating th...

You know not everyone is your friend, right? Did you know not everyone needs to be your friend? On the surface that may sound like a ridiculous question – of course I know not everyone needs to be my friend. Yet, how often do your feelings get hurt when some of the people at work or in your circle of friends or family do something together and you weren’t invited? If you know that not everyone has...