Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

I watched a very inspiring movie recently, a story about a man who rose from poverty and abuse to wealth and success. To a very large extent, he created himself and the life he led. He did it through hard work and perseverance, all the while feeling like he wasn’t good enough. He felt that way about himself because the words he heard daily when he was growing up were words like “you’ll never amoun...

Some people call themselves honest and say whatever they’re thinking whenever it pops into their head. When they hurt someone’s feelings, words like, “well, the truth hurts” are offered instead of an apology. Beware – if someone in your life is honest like this, stay away from them as much as possible. That’s not honesty, that’s a callous disregard for your feelings. They probably had someone in t...

What thoughts do you start your day with? How you begin is likely to be how you continue throughout the day. Since many research studies show that happier people achieve more goals, the logical conclusion is that trying to create more happiness in your outlook will make you more successful. So, since how you begin the day is likely to be how you continue throughout the day, what can you do to reme...

Is there someone on your work team or in your circle of family and friends who disrespects you or disregards your feelings? Most of us have someone in our sphere who behaves like that, and it can be very uncomfortable to be around them. I worked with a guy who invaded my space, talked over me in meetings, and didn’t share information he had that I needed in order to do my job well. I dreaded being...

Do you keep a “to-do” list? I do, and I also have several daily tasks on my Google calendar, just to be sure I don’t forget to do them. As a business owner, I wear a lot of hats and can sometimes forget things in one part of my business when focusing on importing things in another part. Does this happen in your life, too? To-do lists can be very helpful, and can also create a sense of being overwh...

There are well-meaning people who tell others “You’re living the best time of your life right now.” They could be talking to a teenager, a college student, a newlywed, a new parent, someone whose child has gotten old enough to go to school, etc. etc. etc. The well-meaning person is trying to be helpful, reminding someone to enjoy the life they have now, which is good advice and I wish they’d just...

“You must first be willing to be a survivor before you can be a success.” The Reverend TD Jakes said these words at the grand opening celebration for Tyler Perry’s studio complex in Atlanta during an on-camera interview. While he was talking specifically about Tyler Perry, that sentence describes everyone. We all have things in our lives we’ve overcome, some small, and some huge and horrible. When...

Are you feeling trapped? Trapped in a job, trapped in a house, trapped in a relationship? Do you know that it’s only in your mind that you’re trapped? Do you know that you, with your powerful mind, can loosen those emotional ropes that feel like they were put on you by someone or something else? You can, using principles based in neuroplasticity. When you’re feeling trapped, you’re focusing on wha...

Usually I ask you to focus on the positive aspects of whatever is happening to you and around you. Today is something completely different – today I want you to take a few minutes and make a list of the not-optimal things that have happened in your life. My list would include losing both parents, the sudden end of my 30-year marriage, and a bunch of other painful episodes. Write as many as you can...

Have you ever thought about the difference between hearing and listening? The artist Ana Teresa Fernandez wrote, “To hear is to let the sound wander all the way through the labyrinth of your ear; to listen is to travel the other way to meet it.” Isn’t that a beautiful way of expressing the difference? We hear things all the time – you’re hearing this Tiny Bite podcast – and we have to be present t...

Most people know someone who makes poor decisions. For many, that “someone” is a person they care about, maybe even love deeply. They see the poor choices, self-destructive behavior, and maybe even a level of denial, and do their darndest to help. They bail them out financially. Maybe they even bail them out of jail. They give them a place to live, make excuses for them, and even try to control th...

Do you ever come home from work feeling exhausted, both mentally and physically? Maybe the day had more challenges than normal, maybe your co-workers were more challenging than normal, or maybe you just got up on the wrong side of the bed. No matter why the day was challenging, no matter what you dealt with, don’t take it to bed with you. Before you do anything else, hit the shower. Shed your work...

Most people have at least a little bit of people-pleaser in their personality. Those who raised us wanted us to do what they wanted us to do, so they acted pleased when we did it and displeased when we didn’t. We learned early on how to smooth our paths by at least trying to look like we cared what others thought about our actions. Fast-forward to adulthood, and because we’re drawn to what feels f...

How do you treat someone who mistreated you? It’s so easy to paint them as the bad guy, point the finger at everything they’ve ever done to anyone and to you, and to plot delicious revenge – you know, the kind of revenge that never backfires on you and makes them look like a fool. When you spend your precious time and energy railing against what’s been done to you and who did it and how awful they...

Have I told you about the amazing committee I have working for me? When something feels too difficult for me to do, or when I don’t have an idea of how to start something I want to do, like write a book, I give it to my amazing committee. General George Patton said, “Don’t tell people how to do things, tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.” When I delegate to my commit...

Think carefully before answering this question: are you competitive? That’s a tough question to answer because it’s not specific – do I mean competitive against others or against myself? I train my dogs and compete in different dog sports, so you would be accurate to say I’m competitive. I like to earn placements in those competitions, so it could seem like I’m competitive against the other teams....

Think about a person you don’t like or maybe don’t approve of. What is it about them that you dislike? Is it who they are now or what you know about their past? Maybe they’ve done something that you know about or have heard about that you think is bad, so you think they’re bad. Does that sound like something you might be doing with this person, or maybe with someone else? While people do show us w...

Good people get tired of being good to ungrateful people. That’s human nature. Losing your temper after trying and trying and trying to respond to someone who is badgering you is human nature. In both situations, the “human nature” part of you feels justified in giving up on someone who seems ungrateful, and in getting angry at someone who just won’t let it go. Believe me, my “human nature” side h...

You know scientists will study anything, right? And you know I’m a science nerd, right? The other day I was talking with a couple of friends about music and dancing, and we realized that just watching someone dance made us all feel better. A Columbia University neuroscientist studied the brains of dancers and declared that dancing is a pleasure double-play: music stimulates the brain’s pleasure ce...

Who is in charge of your mood today? Your dog, who woke you up when he chased his tail at 3:47 this morning and you couldn’t get back to sleep? Your cat, who stalks and kills imaginary demons all night long? The leg of the bedside chest you stubbed your toe on as you got out of bed? Those can all be a reason for your mood to dip, and the truth is, no one is in charge of your mood but you. How can...

Have you ever suffered a setback? Sure you have – we all have. I finished in the top 10 of my class so was going to be featured onstage at graduation. Oops…I overslept and was late for rehearsal, so I walked with the rest of the class instead of in the spot I’d earned. At the time I was so disappointed in myself, in whoever made the stupid rigid rules, and mainly in myself. Did I mention the rest...

Is someone you know a workaholic? Aside from their work, you don’t know what else they do besides eat and sleep? That’s the opposite of “work/life balance” and is detrimental to their wellbeing and probably to at least some aspects of their future. Unless their work fulfills their every desire, they’re cutting themselves off from experiences and people that would add interest, enlightenment, and f...

Do you know how alone you are? Maybe you don’t feel alone because you live with a partner and maybe some offspring, or you work as part of a big team, or you live in a large multi-unit building. There may be people all around you, people in your field of vision almost all the time, and yet you’re very alone. You’re alone in your thoughts – no one else can think them or can know them as you think t...

Do you think of yourself as a creative person? Many people say they’re not creative, and I say they are defining creativity the wrong way. Creativity is drawing and painting and sculpting. Creativity is composing and playing music. Creativity is writing a poem or an essay or a play or a novel. But wait, you say you can’t do those things, which proves you’re not creative. Listen up – creativity is...

Quick – what are you doing right now? What are you wearing? How does your hair look? How do your surroundings look? What’s the weather like? Who’s with you? Who do you wish was with you? How do you feel about all of what’s going on for you right now? Do you appreciate the work you do, and at least most of the people you work with? Do you like the clothes you have on, and the way your hair is choos...