Tiny Bites of Wagaliciousness

Let’s talk religion today, and don’t worry – I’m not choosing sides or preaching. With all the good that religion has given to the world, it’s been the crux of much of the bad, too. Wars almost all have had as their basis religious wrangling. Humans are hard-wired to be tribal, to fear and distrust those different from “our” tribe, and to try to convert others to our way of thinking and believing....

Is there something that feels big, feels scary, and feels outside of your control? Maybe it’s a war, maybe it’s a life-threatening diagnosis for someone you care about or for you, or maybe it’s that you feel uncertain if your job is secure. Give yourself 10 minutes today to write down what the big scary thing is, why it scares you – all the reasons you can think of, and what, if anything, you can...

Do you remember the last 5 Olympic gold medalists in any sport? Can you name the last 5 Nobel Peace Prize winners? Can you name your state’s Senators, your Representative, and the mayor of the town you live in? Don’t worry – most people can’t. Do you remember a teacher who had a big impact on you? Can you name 3 friends who would help you if you needed them? Who are 5 people you love to spend time...

Do you find yourself waiting for people who are late…a lot? Do you hate waiting for people who are late? This Tiny Bite should help you feel better, like it did me when I learned this info. On-time people often perceive late people as arrogant, or like they think their time is more valuable than anyone else’s. Pretty irritating, right? What if the person who’s habitually late actually has such a l...

“We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are.” Anais Nin wrote that in 1961, before neuroscience research could back it up. Turns out, she was right. In 2015, social media exploded in a debate over whether a photo showed a black and blue dress or a gold and white dress. People thought it was a hoax – that everyone was seeing it the same way they were and lying about it for pure ent...

Let’s talk about verbal bullying. I heard two people in a cafe talking about the “right” way to take a shower, as if anyone who did it differently was a weirdo. I remember a girl in my high school gym class who said women who only shave their legs to just above the knee are freaks. What do those have in common? When spoken aloud and directed at another person, that’s verbal bullying. One of my aun...

We’ve all had that one friend – you know the one. The one who is a good friend and sometimes feels the need to put you down. The one who makes plans and then changes them at the last minute because something else came up – something that didn’t include you. The one who occasionally shoots sharp painful barbs at you, saying “well, the truth hurts.” I hope, if you’ve had that friend, that they’re in...

Can you let someone else love something you really don't love? Think before you answer – this is something that most of us struggle with. From childhood, being right was drilled into us. It’s the way learning works – “right” is good and “wrong” is not so good, so we’re incentivized to be right. That creates a pattern of thought in the brain that makes you certain that what you know is the way it i...

Have you ever been part of a true brainstorming session? Real brainstorming sessions are about positive ideas building on each other, with no “yeah but” allowed. I was working at a great Washington DC radio station when I was first exposed to brainstorming, and the person running the session had to remind me – more than once! – that we were looking for ideas, not the reasons ideas might not work....

Adulting. What a fun word adulting is. It’s a playful way of saying that the child inside you is a little bit tired of taking care of responsibilities and obligations. Yes, no matter how old you are, how many wrinkles and grey hairs you have, there is still that spark of innocent fun that you had as a child, and it’s that part of you that pushes back against all that adulting. Don’t get me wrong –...

Maybe you heard the recent Tiny Bite about what great leaders have in common? It’s a focus on constant learning and self-improvement. It can be easy to look at self-improvement as self-indulgent or unnecessary, and you’re fooling yourself if that’s how you view it. You’re also probably short-changing yourself as a human being by staying stuck in the same old mindsets, attitudes, and thought proces...

Do you ever feel unappreciated? Maybe even like no one cares about you? Then this Tiny Bite is for you. Most of us feel that way sometimes, and some people feel that way a lot of the time. People are hard-wired to feel like they are the center of the universe, because we literally are the center of our own universe. Our world revolves around us. What this means in a practical sense is that when we...

Have you ever been so frustrated by something that you just broke down and cried? Not from sadness, not from grief – from pure, unadulterated frustration? One of my dogs has been attacking his foot. It doesn’t look like bored-dog-itis, it looks like something is wrong with the foot. Two months, 12 treatment trials, and two grand later, biopsy results from the latest treatment trial once again show...

Do you work in a company where you don’t feel trusted, or maybe you don’t trust your team members? Do you know that oxytocin drives a feeling of trust, whether it’s you trusting others or your boss or team trusting you? In scientific experiments, researchers found that oxytocin production in people drops as their stress levels go up, so one of the best ways to increase feelings of trust is to decr...

Is someone you cared deeply about missing from your life? Maybe they moved where they live, maybe they moved on from you, or maybe they moved on from life on earth. No matter the reason, they’re missing from your life, and it hurts. A lot. Or maybe what you’re feeling is more like anger than hurt. The depth of the feeling is the focus of this Tiny Bite – someone you cared about is gone and you’re...

Let’s talk about authenticity. Seems like most of the world is talking about being authentically who you are, and while that sounds great, what does it mean, exactly? Authenticity is more than just being honest, or being real, or being open and transparent. Those are all good attributes and are part of who you are. Being authentic means you get who you are, what’s important to you, what your ethic...

Most of us have big goals – life goals, career goals, relationship goals, whatever. Even if they just feel like wishes or dreams to us, they are actually goals. And big goals can feel very daunting – they feel distant in time, affordability, or reality. Have you ever heard a friend who longs to be in a relationship say, “All the good men are either taken or gay?” That’s an example of a big goal th...

Have you ever been the target of someone’s jealousy? It doesn’t feel good, does it? It’s easier when they’re outspoken, saying things like, “What makes you so special?” and “You always get the plum assignments.” Phrases like that pointed at you can be painful, and yet they’re gifts the other person is giving you. They’re telling you what’s happening inside their head so you can’t possibly misunder...

Think about the most successful leader you know personally. It could be your boss, the leader of a volunteer group you’re part of, a good friend – it could be you. Picture that person and think about these questions: What books do they read? Do they take continuing education classes, whether required or not? Do they reach out to their mentors from the past? Do they have a coach – life coach, leade...

Do you find it hard to make decisions? Many people do. In a sense, making a decision requires us to predict the future, and not just one future – many. When deciding whether to eat Chinese food or Italian food with your friends, your mental process goes to which ones your friends prefer, and how each one of them will behave if they don’t get their preferred meal. You also consider which on of thos...

Think about your brain as a tool you use. That’s actually what it is – it’s not you, it’s the mechanism that runs your body and allows your soul or energy body or whatever you call the non-physical part of you to think, feel, and react. Just as a hammer can’t evaluate its own usefulness, your brain can’t either. Your brain just hums along, keeping your body breathing and your heart pumping, rememb...

Have you ever taken a wrong turn in an unfamiliar city? Maybe you misunderstood your navigation app, or maybe your phone battery died – whatever the reason, suddenly you’re in a place you didn’t mean to be instead where you thought you’d be. Now, apply that to your life instead of your physical location – have you ever been in a job or a relationship and thought, “how did I end up here? This isn’t...

When you’re successful, why do you sometimes feel unsuccessful? When you’re part of the inner circle, how can you possibly feel like an outsider? When you achieve something big, why is that little voice inside your head calling you undeserving? Consider this – other people feel what you’re feeling, too, just like you. They’re feeling undeserving, like an outsider, and unsuccessful. How can that be...

Have you ever been in this kind of conversation: someone talks about a painful event in their life, you listen, and in an attempt to relate to them, you talk about a similar painful event in your life? The conversation continues, and if there are multiple people, everyone adds their story to the pile of pain until you’re all marinating in a puddle of miserable memories. Yes, the conversation allow...

Has a piece of your life come to an end and now you’re faced with starting over? Maybe you’re an empty-nester, maybe your marriage ended – no matter what the event, starting over can feel like starting from scratch. It can feel daunting or downright scary to look at a future you weren’t anticipating, don’t feel prepared for, and aren’t even sure you want. Remember this – you’re not starting from s...