Time to Lean

In this episode, we respond to a listener email from someone who is feeling stuck. Their partner says they're on board, but actions don't reflect those commitments. We explore the complexities of relationships, focusing on the mental load, communication dynamics, and the concept of domestic equity. They discuss the challenges default partners face, the importance of setting boundaries, and the rol...

Is it your partner's job to make sure you get to work on time? In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a Reddit post about a woman who refuses to wake up her boyfriend in the morning, which has caused him to almost lose his job. They explore the dynamics of the relationship and the expectations placed on each partner. They also touch on the importance of allowing children to experience failure...

This week's episode, we cover an absolutely WILD RIDE of an Am I The Asshole where a woman runs to the internet to ask if she's the asshole for divorcing her husband over lids that are too tight. This may be a spoiler... but in this episode, we also delve into the topic of GASLIGHTING!! A link to the original post Gaslighting warning signs Wikihow resource on gaslighting For AD FREE episodes, reso...

In this episode, Laura and Crystal are joined by Toi Smith to discuss capitalism, motherhood, and collective liberation. How are they related, and how do we see them affect our day-to-day as we provide care in our homes?  Toi Marie Smith is a growth and impact strategist whose work centers on doing life, business, and motherhood differently. She works with people whose work is countercultural...

In this episode, we chat about the often-overlooked value of care work and the challenges of juggling work and family life. We share our personal stories about dealing with job insecurity, finding affordable childcare, and the mental toll it all takes. We also touch on how the pandemic has affected women’s roles at home and why it’s so important to push for fair pay and better support for care wor...

Join us as we dive into the rollercoaster ride of decision-making in relationships! We tackle the hot topic of who does what at home and the mental juggling act that often leaves one person feeling like a circus performer. We'll chat about why it's crucial to have teamwork and open communication and explore the difference between handling the practical and emotional sides of a partnership and the...

On this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss all things Back-to-Schoo! If you have kids or teach them or babysit them or are around them, you have felt the heavy mental load of this time of year. Join us in discussing this episode in our Patreon, meet up with us on Tuesdays to connect and ask questions-AND you can listen to our episodes AD-FREE for as low as $5 a month! Download resources and read m...

On this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the viral Ballerina Farm Time's Article. We delve into the unequal division of labor, the pressure on mothers to prioritize their kids and role as mom above all else, and the lack of autonomy and self-care for mothers. Mentioned on this episode: The viral Time's article on Ballerina Farm All Fours by Miranda July Join our Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download resources a...

In this episode, Laura speaks with Ellyce Fulmore, author of the national bestseller Keep Finance Personal , a book dedicated to helping neurodivergent individuals approach their finances without shame! Find Ellyce @ellyce.fulmore , at Queerd Co. , and on her podcast, Dopamine Dollars! ⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join our Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

In this episode, we delve into the mental load and invisible pressures mothers and primary caregivers often face. We'll listen to a woman whose kids and partner complain about the sleeping conditions at the Airbnb they did nothing to help pick! We discuss the challenges of planning vacations, managing finances, and making family decisions, emphasizing open communication, shared responsibility, and...

In this week's episode, we have a tweet submitted from a listener regarding initial reactions in communication. We discuss collaborative versus competitive communication and how it deeply effects how men and women communicate. Mentioned on this episode: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Gottman Article on Accepting Influence From a Partner Study on Collaborative vs Competitive Communication Get ad-free epis...

This week's episode focuses on an AITA found on reddit where the poster wanted to know if she was a jerk for asking her partner to let a cleaner into their flat when he was tired. This one was murky and we're dying to hear what you think! (Join the conversation over on Patreon. You can sub for free!) Read the AITA thread and comments here! Mentioned in this episode: Boy Mom by Ruth Whippman Everyt...

In this week's episode, we discuss how we can course-correct when balance arrives, but the perception of it is still skewed. What work is being noticed? What is being ignored? What can we do to shift the narrative, especially with kids? To use the Persist web app and get a discount, use code DANGER15 https://www.timeforpersist.com/ Referenced in the episode: Our Home by Lori Sugarman-Li Releasing...

In this week's episode, we discuss the challenges of packing! Why do we pack what we pack? What goes into the process, and why? Packing is a task that's full to the brim with care, consideration, and preparation. A well-planned, well-packed trip means everyone has a better time. Referenced in the episode: Multitool Bluey Episode: The Pool Outside Magazine Article ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download...

Ash Brandin, @thegamereducator , joins Laura and Crystal to talk about the nuances surrounding screens. A video recently went viral on Tiktok where a creator made some serious claims about the harms of screens. Ash chats with us about how you can set boundaries around screens, how screens can be tools and who's really to blame for the significant role they play in our lives. Ash creates amazing co...

In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss a listener question. She had a friend to visit for a few days and it ended very poorly. What is she supposed to do if she's dying for connection and the way she's getting those needs met are making him a bit miserable? Get ad-free episodes and join the conversation over on Patreon! ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon!⁠⁠⁠ Download resources and read more from Crystal and...

In this episode, Laura and Crystal dive into executive function, anxiety spirals and the complicated space of trying to emotionally regulate as a parent with your emotionally dysregulated kids. ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a message on Speakpipe!  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠...

In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss the speech Kansas City Chiefs kicker, Harrison Butker, gave at a Catholic university's commencement ceremony. In it, he states that women have been "diabolically lied to," and we agree, but not in the way you think. You can read the full text of Butker's speech here ! Listen to Black Disability Politics here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠Join our Patreon!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Do...

In this episode, Laura and Crystal talk about "Boy Room", a show by Rachel Coster. It's an Instagram series that explores the messy and often disturbing world of boy bedrooms in New York City. Comedian Rachel Coster interviews men in their 20s and 30s about their messy living spaces. The rooms are filled with clutter, trash, and filth. The videos have gained a large following and hav...

In this episode, we hear a clip from a podcast where a man VERY PROUDLY explains that he only changes diapers if he's in a good mood, doesn't wake up with the babies during the night and acts like a child. We talk about the importance of reciprocity and the value of care. Fill out our feedback form here! Here's the video of the podcast we play on this episode! Mentioned: Disability Int...

In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the mental load of parenting and the learning that is often assumed by partners socialized as female. We also talk community building through gardening, and, of course, neurodivergence! ⁠⁠Join our Patreon!⁠⁠ Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Have a domestic dilemma or question? Leave us a me...

In this week's episode, we look at an AITA where someone's caught in a sticky friendship/family situation chock full of emotional labor. We talk about friendship, family, communication and empathy and all of the nuance that exists in our relationships. Read the AITA here! ⁠Join our Patreon!⁠ Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Ha...

Laura and Crystal discuss submissions from our audience concerning loss of identity through self-sacrificing. Can we serve others, enjoy it, without sacrificing or losing who we are? Mentioned in this episode: Financial Abuse Resources Fresh Starts Registry Mikki Kendall ⁠⁠Join our Patreon!⁠⁠ Download resources and read more from Crystal and Laura ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ here ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Have a...

Crystal and Laura discuss a viral article from The Cut titled 'The Case for Marrying an Older Man'. The article argues that marrying an older man provides women with ease, flexibility, and liberation from the burdens of womanhood. Is that what's it doing? Mentioned in this episode: Rose Hackman's article, I was 14. He was 22. If it wasn't grooming, what is? bell hooks ain't...

In this episode, we discuss a listener's email--she wants to know what to do if her partner is on board but, because of his ADHD, isn't able to follow through. We also touch on our own examples of how each of our neurodivergence shows up in our partnerships--how can we take responsibility for our actions and behaviors while also balancing disabilities and deficits? Mentioned in this episod...