Time to Lean

Have you heard of the Gottman Institute? The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is a wildly popular relationship book and it has plenty of fantastic insights. However, some of the research and case studies could use some updating. In this episode, we take a close look at conflict while keeping in mind the weight of emotional labor and the impacts of patriarchy. Mentioned: The Seven Principa...

In this episode, we share a "candid" video from a couple who are having a serious convo in a #couplescomedy tone. We unpack emotional attunement, family dynamics and the impact of social media on all of us. Mentioned in this episode: No More Mediocre by Laura Danger is in stores on January 6, 2026! Enter here for a chance to win an early copy! Don’t miss Crystal’s upcoming groups! More info here!...

In this episode, we explore the line between sharing personal growth and capitalizing on the widespread normalization of inequity. When does modeling a more equitable division of labor go from influencing a cultural shift to patting yourself on the back? Mentioned in this episode: No More Mediocre by Laura Danger is in stores on January 6, 2026! Enter here for a chance to win an early copy! Don’t...

In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss an IG reel sent to us from a listener. Do men need to be tricked into going to therapy? What are some things that keep them from going? How do you even go about picking a therapist that’s right for you? Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.com Preorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine Our Relationships And Demand More F...

In this episode, Laura and Crystal chat about a clip from the movie Knocked Up where Leslie Mann confronts Paul Rudd about his dishonesty around how he's been using his time. We cover invisible labor, insidious inequity, subtle betrayals and so much more. Here's the link to the original video! Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.com Preorder No More Mediocre: A Call...

In this episode, we discuss a viral thread where a woman describes a metaphor for her entire relationship: a situation where she asked for more and was expected to be satisfied with less. We talk: self-sacrifice, relationship dynamics, small moments that really reflect big issues. Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetoleanpod.substack.com Preorder No More Mediocre: A Call To Reimagine...

In this episode, Crystal and Laura talk about a viral video that makes light of the dynamic of "nagging". Join us as we consider not just what happens when you "ask a man to do the dishes", but what the jokes of the #couplescomedy genre actually teach us to laugh off. Mentioned: Revolution at Point Zero The original video Paris Paloma - Labour Get resources, ad-free episodes, and more at timetolea...

In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the 2019 Netflix film, ‘Marriage Story,’ which starred Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson. A popular clip is circulating on social media again and made us wonder: with all the passing of responsibility and finger-pointing and tantruming—was it all just cis-het propaganda?? Mentioned in this Episode: Pre-Order Laura’s Book! – No More Mediocre Laura’s Subst...

This week, we’re digging into a few clips from @leftonread_show that had us feeling things! We talk about what it means to be “cool" and whether or not the host's advice to play hard to get is ACTUALLY good advice. A lighthearted one today. <3 Let’s get into it. — Find more at timetoleanpod.substack.com for resources, ad-free episodes, and more. Follow Laura @thatdarnchat → thatdarnchat.substac...

This is a weird one. Crystal has been slammed and Laura couldn't get a painting out of her head, so she decided to write(and read) about it. In this episode, Laura reads something she wrote about an unfinished painting of a mother. PLEASE PARDON LAURA'S FRENCH. :) Check out the painting here! Madame de Pastoret and Her Son, 1791–92 Artist: Jacques-Louis David (French, 1748–1825) Here's her husband...

In this episode, we talk about how vulnerable it can feel to name a need, the weight of perceived pushback, and how quickly it can spiral. We dig into what we call the nag paradox —that toxic loop of asking, resisting, escalating, and shutting down—and how it traps so many of us in a cycle of sacrifice, resentment, and disconnection. Mentioned: Wages For Housework by Emily Callaci Get resources, a...

A listener sent us a video that hit a nerve: a husband asks his overwhelmed wife how he can help, then resists the very thing she asks for. In this episode, we unpack what’s really going on in moments like these. We talk about the emotional weight of asking for help, the nuances of saying no, and what it costs when a partner responds with resistance(even subtly). Emotional labor, the mental load,...

This week, we look at a viral influencer’s take on why men don’t step up at home. He's just one of many creators who exist in the genre of “relationship advice” whose content insidiously blames women for their partner’s lack of initiative. Apparently, the problem with a lack of effort isn't... the lack of effort... It's that you must be smothering his divine masculine spark. Mentioned in this epis...

This week Crystal and Laura discuss the challenges of care work, societal expectations of default partners, and the internet's attempts at poking fun at these dynamics. Spoiler alert: we don't think it's funny. We analyze a viral video that pokes fun at a woman managing her family's needs while being late, highlighting the unfairness of couples comedy posts. Instead of trying to punch down, should...

In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss planning ahead when one partner takes on a new task--should you make contingency plans just in case they mess it up? Mentioned in This Episode: Fight Right by the Gottmans Like what you hear? Join the conversation on Substack! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss a clip from the popular Showtime show, “Couples Therapy,” where a pair of clients discuss incompetence, ability, and blame. Disclaimer: Time to Lean is an educational and conversational podcast intended for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views expressed by the hosts and guests are their own and do not constitute therapeutic advice, cli...

In this episode, Crystal and Laura discuss the importance of positive language in gardening, the joy of birding through apps, and the impact of social media on relationship dynamics. The conversation delves into parenting roles, cultural narratives, and the normalization of toxic behaviors in relationships, ultimately calling for a rethinking of feminist perspectives and deeper discussions about r...

This week, Crystal presents a new study that claims handling home life well can boost your work performance. We dig into what’s really being said(and what’s not), why the framing matters, and how corporate culture keeps co-opting care. In this episode: How you handle your home life can boost work performance, shows new study: https://www.bath.ac.uk/announcements/how-you-handle-your-home-life-can-b...

Why is it that we blame the mom when something kid-related falls through the cracks? In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss double standards in gendered expectations, the way that clear communication can prevent resentment, and how emotional safety can impact domestic problem-solving. Mentioned in this episode: https://www.today.com/parents/toddlers/mom-forgets-diapers-flight-toddler-rcna20355...

Is the point of feminism to become a power mom/CEO powerhouse? (spoiler alert: BIG no). In this episode, Laura and Crystal discuss why the new branding of feminism misses the mark by a w i d e margin. Mentioned in this episode: Power Moms Marie Claire Article Book: A Decolonial Feminism by Françoise Vergès Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this super unhinged episode, Laura and Crystal discuss the HBO show The Rehearsal, specifically episode 2 of season 2. We talk emotional labor, Nathan Fielder, and airline pilots. Mentioned in this episode: Rose Hackman's article: Telling Women to Modulate Their Tone Will Not Hinder Male Extremism Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, Laura and Crystal unravel the messy, misunderstood concept of nagging —and spoiler alert, it’s not just a "you problem." We’re diving headfirst into the nag paradox , that familiar dynamic where one partner becomes the designated project manager of the household… and the other somehow forgets how time works. From cringey comic strip tropes (hello, bathrobe lady with the slipper) to the...

This week on Time to Lean , Crystal and Laura sit down with author, essayist, and unapologetic truth-teller Jessica Slice to discuss her powerful new book Unfit Parent . Jessica shares the backstory behind her debut, how she went from social work student to published author, and what it means to parent while disabled in a world that barely recognizes disabled parents exist—let alone values them. W...

In this conversation, Laura and Crystal explore the complexities of relationships, particularly focusing on the emotional labor and expectations that arise when one partner makes significant decisions, such as donating a kidney. They discuss the importance of communication, the impact of caregiving, and the need for self-awareness in navigating these dynamics. The conversation emphasizes the neces...

 In this unfiltered and deeply relatable episode, Crystal and Laura dive headfirst into a viral Am I the Asshole Reddit post that brings up a lot of familiar feelings for millennial moms, especially those in cishet partnerships. Research & References: Rose Hackman , Emotional Labor Darby Saxbe , USC: Study on cognitive labor and maternal burnout Study on marital burnout in women post-lock...