Till The Wheels Fall Off

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In the beginning, validation is KEY to the healing process, but at some point a decision has to be made. In this episode we discuss how to get from validation to making real changes in your life with the help of acceptance, impermanence, and the adoption of a growth mindset. So often our minds are geared toward guarantees and permanence so much so that we sacri...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! This episode focuses on understanding the roles that optimism, realism, and pessimism play in handling life situations. Paige emphasizes that each perspective has its place and that balancing them is crucial for making informed and healthy decisions. She shares personal experiences, including being overly optimistic in the past and learning the importance of re...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Many people have experienced a situation where they are asked by someone struggling with addiction for "support." They will tug at heartstrings, elicit sympathy, ask for loyalty, and beg for support- but what are you supporting? If someone is asking for your support, but they are not making a recovery effort, is that really support? In this episode we...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! This episode from Paige's Perspective discusses the human tendency to care about what others think and the roots of people-pleasing behaviors. Paige reflects on how historically, humans lived in small, interconnected communities where fitting in was essential for survival. This instinct to please others was ingrained as a means to avoid ostracization. Howe...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Transitional addiction or "switching addictions" refers to the phenomenon where an individual shifts from one addictive behavior to another during or after the process of recovery. This can occur when the underlying issues driving the addiction, such as emotional distress or unresolved trauma, are not fully addressed. Instead of confronting these root...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this episode of Paige's Perspective, we dive into the impact of negative self-talk and the importance of self-compassion. Paige shares her personal struggles with perfectionism, shame, and cognitive distortions, and discusses how these negative thought patterns can hold us back. She explores the difference between guilt and shame, offering practical str...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Recovery is no doubt hard, but support is not required or deserved especially from the people substance abusers have hurt the most. In some situations, spouses and partners can feel like they're being held captive due to several factors: threats of self-harm if they leave a situation, phrases like "I cannot do this without you", being manipulated...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this episode of "Paige's Perspective: Trusting Your Instincts," Paige explores the importance of reconnecting with our natural instincts in parenting, relationships, and life decisions. She reflects on how modern conveniences and societal pressures can sometimes dull our instinctual responses, leading us to second-guess our natural inclination...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! 90 days is often cited as an appropriate time to commit to something in order to make it stick, but where does this come from? Can anything actually be changed in 90 days? Why 90 days rather than 21 or 300? In this episode we talk time in relation to change and discuss what types of change someone can make in addiction recovery, as well as what spouses and part...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this week's episode, we delve into the power of self-control. Inspired by an article on self-control by Steve Stewart-Williams, we explore its profound impact on our lives. Self-control isn't just self-care; it's the only thing we can truly control in life. From managing stress and improving physical health to enhancing relationships and profe...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this episode we're covering the concept of selfishness as it pertains to acts of self-care. In many ways working toward sobriety can be seen as "selfish" when it's actually an act of self-care that leads to the elimination of selfish behaviors over time. This is true for people in recovery as well as spouses and partners of alcoholics and...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this week's episode of Paige's Perspective, Paige discusses how she deals with a problem we all face - uncertainty. Whether you are in a relationship with an addict (which creates TONS of uncertainty) or someone that struggles with planning to the extreme, there are several helpful tools and tidbits buried in this episode that will help you reframe...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Are you REALLY asking for too much? Why do so many accept the bare minimum standard for involvement in a relationship? If you are left feeling unfulfilled in a relationship, what can be done about it? In this episode we touch on these questions and many more as we venture into relationship standards and why we believe that asking for an equal partner is not ask...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this week's Paige's perspective, Paige is covering anxiety and overwhelming emotions. Paige recounts her struggle with anxiety disorder and how she overcame debilitating anxiety, panic attacks, and overwhelming fears. She discusses the tools she uses to break free from anxious thoughts and how she rationalizes "what if" scenarios and shif...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! This is an episode designed more like a charcuterie board than a main course. We discuss Independently Strong because we don't think we've really ever done a great job at communicating what it's about and the value to someone in a relationship with a person struggling with addiction. We then get onto topics that are beneficial to you right here,...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Interdependence is important in our most intimate relationships. When one partner breaks down, we often find ourselves filling their cup and leaving ourselves empty. This is fine and well in relationships, but when addiction is involved the prolonged and persistent nature of the lack of support will leave you playing the role of both people...carrying an immens...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Please just hear me out. The person that sent this to you is not as crazy or out of touch or nagging as you think. I'm not going to try to convert you to anything, I've just been where you are and someone that loves you dearly wants you to know there's a way out. If you were sent this randomly by someone, please listen.  Find video clips and full...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this week's episode of Paige's Perspective, Paige discusses "fake it till you make it" and the importance of this annoying phrase and how there's actually something beautiful underneath it all. There are of course caveats, and all of them are discussed in this quick pick-me-up episode! Find video clips and full length video from this...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Betrayal trauma refers to the deep psychological harm that occurs when someone experiences a significant betrayal within a primary relationship such as a romantic partnership and it impacts the victim's sense of trust, safety, and security. Codependency doesn't come close to touching on the trauma experienced by spouses and partners of alcoholics, add...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this week's episode of Paige's Perspective, Paige dives deep into how she moved out of the cocoon phase and discusses timeframe, how she got started, and how fitness and self care really got the ball rolling. In working through the cocoon phase, you will discover that you can do hard things, push harder than you ever have before, and become the bea...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this episode we discuss the cocoon phase of healing; a familiar place for many spouses and partners of alcoholics as they process the truth of their lives and relationships and begin to transition. The cocoon phase is important in the healing process or even through crisis as we reshape our identities, rediscover ourselves, grieve, regulate our emotions, lea...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this week's episode of Paige's Perspective, let's talk about how to budget the f**ks you give just like a bank account. For a spouse or partner affected by addiction, life is overwhelming and things that once garnered a lot of your attention need to be let go - and things you never thought twice about, MUST be given focus and attention. Everyo...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Compassion is a beautiful characteristic and necessary to some degree in relationships, but there can be too much of a good thing.  While compassion is an important and valuable quality, excessive or misplaced compassion in such situations can lead to enabling harmful behaviors, compromising one's own well-being, and perpetuating the cycle of abuse or addi...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Today marks the start of a new solo segment with Paige to supplement our regular weekly show to get you more help, more inspiration, and more lessons. It's called Paige's Perspective, and it's going to be a weekly message to our audience to provide more insight as to what a spouse's journey is like.  This week Paige spends a moment to discus...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Many times spouses and partners are lost in a maze of issues that leave confusion and trouble answering a simple question, "What am I recovering from? What defines my recovery?" A marriage or relationship with an alcoholic or addict or a narcissistic or abusive person leaves the victim with issues ranging from PTSD, depression, anxiety disorder, &quot...