Till The Wheels Fall Off

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! We've covered detaching with love before, but the concept deserves further exploration. Detaching with love is paradoxical. We know how to be in love, and we know how to detach...but detaching with love? It's a grey area concept that is rather difficult. It's required as part of the healing process for spouses and partners and involves reframing...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! TWFO welcomes Dr. Christopher S. Taylor to the show to discuss a litany of topics such as healing, addiction, narcissism, abuse, boundaries, codependency, and much more. Dr. Taylor is the clinical architect behind Independently Strong's new course designed to help spouses and partners of alcoholics and addicts on their own recovery journeys. A hope held by...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! It's incredibly hard to communicate to friends and family what it's like being in a relationship with an addict or alcoholic, or even an abusive person...they ask the obvious "Why are you still with them?!" followed by suggestions and advice that often make people feel belittled, invalidated, and alone. This episode serves as a bridge betwee...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In this episode we go somewhere we've never gone before and have a discussion as parents, rather than a couple focusing on an addicted relationship. Talking to kids about addiction is extremely difficult to navigate, it's even more difficult when you're talking to them about their own mother or father. We touch on ways to address the subject in a...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The final part in a series on communication covers what healthy communication looks like. We often disregard the need for healthy communication and "Stick with what we know" but there are tried and true methods to effectively communicate your needs and let others feel heard in the process. We discuss these methods and what has worked for us, we clear...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! All I want for Christmas is normalcy... Who can relate?  The holidays with an addicted loved one bring an entirely new set of challenges to an already stressful season and it's difficult to navigate. The holidays can be a time of extreme anxiety for spouses and partners of addicts and alcoholics due to the need to put on our best face, and juggle the uncer...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! We continue our communication in recovery series by touching on some of the intricacies of communicating with someone in early recovery. Early recovery presents a unique set of challenges for the recovering person as well as the spouse. Often times spouses and partners want to "Get back to normal" and begin to work on their trauma but we discuss why t...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The most common question we get is "How do I help them to get sober?" Unfortunately there is not magic solution, but any progress is going to include communication. This episode begins a series of episodes regarding communication at various stages in someone's recovery journey. This first episode in the series covers communicating with someone in...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Triggers. The word comes up often in addiction treatment but we're going to shift the discussion to triggers that exist for spouses and partners of people that suffer from a substance abuse disorder. Our conversation today is designed to help people that are with someone in early or established sobriety.  We touch on the origins of triggers and ways to mit...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The conclusion of our message to those in active addiction, or in sobriety discusses the spouse's perspective with the intent to create empathy. Addiction is HARD and nobody will ever question that for one moment, but it's still important to understand that within a relationship the world does not pause for the spouse like it does for the person in tr...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! We continue with our message to people in early sobriety with a discussion about the disease concept of addiction, and whether the disease model excuses abusive behavior in a relationship. We dig into the real meat of our overarching theme and discuss accountability, validation of feelings, and offer a different (albeit controversial) perspective on the acknowl...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Reactive abuse (defense) occurs when the victim of abuse responds to the mistreatment they're enduring. Often times feelings of guilt are present and the victim then feels like an abuser themself. It's important to recognize that reactive defense does not constitute abuse in itself and in many cases is an involuntary reaction to ongoing abuse. Abusers...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! We've been asked to create sharable content for your partners and spouses, so here it is. We hope it's helpful in some way. This is part one that focuses on the benefits of a sober life together. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! On the web: www.twfo.com Support the Show: Buy Us a Cof...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The process of empowerment is a journey that takes up time many don't feel they have in the immediacy of a chaotic marriage or relationship. Paige takes a moment to discuss her journey of empowerment and healing while she reintroduces herself. We discuss the timeframe for healing, challenges along the way, and why it's so difficult to discuss being in...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Our discussion this week is split into two parts. The first half focuses on ways in which addiction affects the family unit. We dive in to the subtle and not-so-subtle ways living with an addict can have emotional and psychological affects on partners, spouses, and children. The second half of our discussion focuses on the current resources available for spouse...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! This episode is special in so many ways. It marks one year of Till The Wheels Fall Off, we have our first guests on, and we hear one of the greatest stories from two of the most amazing people we've ever known. Steve and Kristine were happily married when addiction derailed their relationship. Kristine spent 12 years in a relationship with an active addict...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The line between challenging your partner to live up to their potential and controlling them is blurry...Often when we challenge people we're labeled as "Controlling" but that's not always the case. Today we discuss the difference between challenging someone or holding them accountable versus controlling them. Challenging someone and growing...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Your intentions are bullsh...well, not totally, but pretty much. Intentions can be extremely valuable in certain situations to provide context but intentions do not excuse behavior. Often times substance abusers or toxic people will ask that their intentions become the metric by which their behavior should be judged, but this is dangerous and damaging to partne...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! An issue under the surface of what we often discuss is the role of the substance abuser or emotional abuser is that these people are often men. More so than the addiction that wrecks the marriages, families, and friendships of our listeners and clients is the underlying feeling that "Something is going on with men these days." We began to explore this...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! "Should I stay or should I go?" paraphrases a question we get maybe more than any other. This episode hopefully brings some clarity to what REAL change and progress in a relationship looks like, so you can gauge your partner's willingness and capacity to do the hard work. Alcoholism and addiction are just one area of recovery they must tackle...b...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! Trauma bonding occurs when someone becomes overly loyal or attached to another individual who exhibits toxic behavior. This is highly prevalent in narcissistic relationships but it exhibits itself in many relationships where addiction is present. Today we discuss the reasons trauma bonding occurs and how to break free from a toxic situation. Find video clips an...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! A slippery slope topic...What role should you play in your loved one's recovery and what is the best way to support someone in recovery? What are the do's and don'ts, what actions lead to success, what do I need to know? How does any of this work?! All thoughts that race through the mind of anyone that has a loved one battling addiction. We discu...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! It's okay to be mad. It's okay. Healing starts after the pain is acknowledged and your feelings are validated. Today we discuss the lack of coverage of the spouse/partner in an addicted or alcoholic relationship and how isolating it can feel. We explore theories on why the stories of the spouse are not discussed or shared, and offer hope to anyone suf...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! The final episode in our boundaries series covers the review, installation, and experience of living with boundaries. We discuss in depth what "Healthy" boundaries look like and ways to review them before having the conversation around them. Find video clips and full length video from this episode on YouTube and our other social media pages! On the we...

Have an episode suggestion? Text us! In part two of our boundaries series we are picking up right where we left off and furthering the discussion around violations of our values. Once we have established our values, it's now important to look outward at the behaviors and actions that lead to uncomfortable feelings (aka violation of our values) so that the boundary and the need for it becomes...