Thought Cops

Welcome to episode 46 of Thought Cops! Sorry to keep you waiting. This week, we're joined by Brett Mercer of Big Time Garbage once again! They just got finished wrapping up their first namesake festival , Big Time Garbage Fest. This week, we talk MECHA TRUMP, Andrew W.K. Tweets, people electing animals as mayors, pop stars not wanting to talk about politics (again), Anakin Skywalker getting kicked...

Hi! What's up. Oh yeah, welcome to episode 45 of Thought Cops! We're joined this week by Deputy Dannyboy  to talk about the outrage of this week. Speaking of which, here's a one shot video of us talking about Ajit Pai's Net Neutrality video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpI2viNqgVU Vine is back, But this week we talk about Keaton Jones , the boy who was bullied and then propped up into internet...

Welcome to episode 44 of Thought Cops! This week, we look into the mirror and say patreon.com/asterios three times and Asterios Kokkinos magically appears on our show. You may know him from the Biggest Problem in the Universe , The Dick Show , Enemies of 20-Something Megaman , Toys "4" Cheap , his bi-monthly podcast Science Friction , or maybe you saw him fight a moderator of r/the_donald. https:/...

Welcome to Episode 43 of Thought Cops! This week, we're joined by Deputy Tyler Russo. He's the creator of the hyper-realistic turtle dicks in this video from The Onion , as well as the auteur of this Youtube channel and this Vimeo channel . This episode, we talk about the disgusting phrase "creatives" that idiots use to describe themselves to make themselves sound interesting. We sentence all thos...

Welcome to episode 42 of Thought Cops, aka episode 1 of Comcast Cops. This week, we're joined once again by Deputy Robbie of The Dirty Nines  and formerly of the FCC to talk about Net Neutrality. Basically everyone's fucked, so we're all looking for jobs at Comcast deleting websites for them. The rest of the episode, we talk about Starbucks' ongoing War on Christmas, the Lena Dunham apology genera...

Welcome to Episode 41 of Thought Cops, aka the autofellatio episode. We're once again joined by Deputy Michael of  michaelpottle.com , and creator of Greg Loves a Human. https://vimeo.com/158571684 This episode, we start off by changing up the show's format a little by sentencing thought crimes as they happen, as opposed to the week after. It's a minor change, but the show should hopefully be a li...

Welcome, to Thought Cop's official kickoff of No-Fap November! Gargle as much ranch as you can fit in a five liter keg with Mark Whitney and Deputy Alberto as we take down Jim Beam, Facebook's nude collection, Fox and Friends, a $400 Antifa Jacket, Larry David, and yes, Louis C.K. Oh yeah, and spoiler alert, this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4AxV78K11AE Make sure to subscribe to us on iTunes a...

Welcome to episode 39 of Thought Cops. This week, America finally gets what it wants as Donald J. Trump is banned from Twitter for an entire 11 minutes. Suck it, libs. We're joined this week by Deputy Danny Boy. You may have heard of him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ppdB6JX99Q Turns out Papa John's is the new official pizza of the alt-right, but let's be honest, who didn't see that one coming...

BOO. Welcome to episode 38 of Thought Cops! For our Halloween Spooktacular episode, we're joined by our Stenographer to take down such criminals as children wearing Moana costumes, Woody Allen, George HW Bush, and Kellogg's Corn Pops. Because people apparently still buy Corn Pops. Here's the Andrew WK video I mention at the beginning of the episode:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUOvnbCtnVQ It'...

Welcome to Episode 37 of the critically acclaimed podcast Thought Cops! Voted best podcast. At least top 10. This week, we're joined once again by Deputy Russell of newly created podcast Surf Party USA. We'll link to it when it's created. This week we take down the thought criminals of the week, such as David Cross, Chapo Trap House, Megan Kelly, the Boy Scouts, Mike Ditka, Fake Melania, a group o...

Welcome Dad-bods, Mansplainers, and ladies, to another episode of Thought Cops! It’s a crossover episode this week as stand-up comedian and follow podcaster Brett Mercer of Big Time Garbage joins us in the battle for a good Skype connection. Make sure to check em out . “Future Prez” Zuckerberg (yes, president abbreviated with a Z, yes, it is mandatory) saves the planet by speaking directly from th...

Welcome to Thought Cops, fellow cartoon characters. This week, we're joined by our show's own Stenographer, as well as the notorious Deputy Sleepytime . You know, from the voicemails. They're here to help us dig through the disgusting pile of sludge that is modern day social media, to help investigate the most heinous of outrage-inducing news stories. Here's the Milo exposé Buzzfeed released this...

Welcome to another episode of Thought Cops! This week, we're joined by two of the Shrimp Boys, a comedy troupe from out here in Chicago. Make sure to catch them this Saturday, the 7th at the Lincoln Lodge. Also make sure to follow them on Facebook and Youtube,  as well as Luke and David 's respective Twitters. Here's a list of upcoming shows by them: This week they help us tackle Twitter word limi...

SATIRE WARNING, because it's another episode of THOUGHT COPS! This week, we're joined by the infamous Mark Whitney , reporter for  The American Tribune . He speaks to us briefly about the Naruto Run Around Trump Tower Event we were at, a followup event of similar nature that he's planning , and the state of modern satire in general. You can follow him and his work here . Definitely the most notewo...

Stifle your gag reflex, because it's episode 32 of Thought Cops! This week, we're joined by Deputy Blake in the hunt against Dan Nainan, the world's oldest millennial. He's struck again . He can't keep getting away with this. If you haven't seen it yet, here's our video of the Naruto Run Around Trump Tower: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoDwz8YsrEc This week, we go after the internet's public en...

Set your difficulty level to "white person," because it's another episode of THOUGHT COPS. This week, we're joined by Deputy Michael of L.A.'s Desert District to take on thought criminals such as Rush Limbaugh, Toni Basil, Nintendo, and a couple of 90's cartoons that all made the fatal mistake of upsetting people on the internet. Michael has a short film that's been making the rounds at various fi...

Sup ninjas, welcome to Episode 30 of Thought Cops! This week, we venture deep into the Konoha District of Neo Chicago to witness the local shinobi take part in what's known as "Naruto Run Around Trump Tower." No, I'm not kidding. We used this opportunity to go to what I might have mistakenly called in this episode "the most intelligent protest I've ever witnessed," with the intention of asking que...

Opa. Welcome to Episode 29 of Thought Cops. Deputy Robbie of the Dirty Nines joins us in the race to 1000 downloads this week, as we cover net neutrality, the resurrection of Civil War general and sportscaster Robert Lee, Alex Jones gets attacked by a globalist, Joss Whedon and James Cameron's exclusive hot takes on feminism, and MTV's out of this world take on gender non-conformity. First, we tal...

Hold onto your medium sized waffle cones, because you're listening to episode 28 of Thought Cops! This week we're joined once again by Deputy Russell from the Cyberpunk Hallel District of L.A., formerly of the Antebellum District of Mississippi. He's on this week as a representative of the entirety of the south, so get out your pitchforks and tiki torches. Just kidding. The conversation we have ab...

Lube up your gloves, because it's another episode of Thought Cops! This week, we're once again joined by Deputy Ron of Big Sword Panel, to talk about reclaiming swastikas, fake Twitter conversations, curvy wives, fisting the New York Times, red-pilled grandpas, and manifestos. KA Designs came under fire this week for trying to make the swastika cool again. Needless to say, it didn't happen. You ca...

Get the fuck off your parent's insurance, because it's Episode 26 of THOUGHT COPS. This week we're joined once again by our show's Stenographer to talk about Chicago's most notorious outrage victim, Jordan Peterson getting his Youtube taken down and then put back up, tan-skinned people of unassumed ethnic origin disrespecting American monuments, Earthworm Jim's creator misgendering journalists, a...

Welcome to Episode 25 of Thought Cops! This week, we run out of things to talk about and end up auditorily describing different memes. I'm not kidding. Just a few weeks ago we criticized a rival podcast for being unlistenable, but it didn't hit too long for us to hit that same point. Next episode we might start talking about our horoscopes. Load up 21 times, because I'm getting too dayumn old for...

Fragile masculinity ruins the party once again on this week's episode of THOUGHT COPS. Today, Deputy Russell joins us on Skype all the way from the cyberpunk district of Los Angeles. The smog in L.A. is apparently real bad, which explains all the coughing this episode. This week on the show, we're talking about female doctors, ketchup on hot dogs, the civil war, and accidental swastikas. Apparentl...

Welcome back to another episode of Thought Cops. We're still here, and we're bigger than ever. This week we're talking about net neutrality, internet censorship, women with fake hair, Green Day, bigoted boxers, and famed children's music phenomenon "Kid Rock" announces his run for Senate. But first, we take a giant shit on a rival podcast in preparation for a new segment that might be coming later...

Welcome to Episode 22 of Thought Cops. On this episode, we talk about stolen patents, Ryan Reynolds, bad governor jokes, and a beached whale in New Jersey. But first, our very own show's stenographer gives us a special report on an undercover case she went on in cyberpunk hipsterville at an "art" exhibit with a bunch of self-important millennials. Yes, they're real, and they too have podcasts. Thi...