Thought Cops

Check IDs before you let anyone in the door of a new episode of THOUGHT COPS. Sleepy Cops edition. This week we're once again bogged down by paperwork, so we've begun a take-no prisoners, shoot first and ask questions later approach. Which consists of us going after anyone online who uses the phrase "nothing burger," anyone who uses fidget spinners, people who bother the fuck out of other people o...

Welcome to the Latest Podcast in the world, the only podcast where I post the episode 4 days late. We're backlogged with about 10,000 hours worth of paperwork. We finished it all though, so according to a TED Talk I didn't watch, we're technically experts at paperwork. This week we talk about wig-wearing reality star Gene Simmons trademarking a sign language word, two idiots I don't know online fi...

Get your outrage license renewed, because it's time for another episode of THOUGHT COPS. On today's episode, we wade deep through the muck of the new Super Colonialist Bros video game, bleeping out D*nald Tr*mp's name on television, and waking Katy Perry up. I use an alarm clock, she uses a haircut and highlights. This week we're joined by Deputy Henry. Henry is in the studio to plug the concept o...

Slip a rubber on, because Thought Cops just turned 18! That's right, it's another episode of your favorite outrage show. Episode 18. And because our parents didn't buy us a Ferrari for our 16th birthday, we're getting revenge on them by exposing ourselves to the world. This episode we're joined once again from BFTD Deputy Doug. Doug's got a project he's working on, BUT IT'S NOT DONE YET. So hold o...

Buckle up your seat belts, because it's time for another episode of Thought Cops. This week we're joined by our own show's stenographer, to talk about all of last week's online outrage. What has she been stenographizing? Who knows! Eventually we might get some transcripts for these episodes though. But this week, we're discussing the big ugly unfunny red-haired elephant in the room: Kathy Griffin....

Welcome to episode SWEET 16 of Thought Cops. This week we're joined by Deputy Ron from Big Sword Panel. We talk about anime conventions, missed connections, and the most effective ways to piss people off. Number 12 will shock you. We also have Secret Undercover Agent Robert calling in to give us the scoop on Tim Allen's tragically canceled sitcom, Last Man Standing. Cue joke about Obamacare. Cue o...

Welcome to episode 15 of Thought Cops. This week we're talking about Tim Allen's show getting cancelled, much like it would've gotten cancelled in 1940's Germany, Jimmy Fallon's regrets about his infamous Trump interview, and rompers for men, or, "romp-hims." Jesus Christ. But first: think Bill Cosby is a rapist? Well you might just be a racist then. That's how we're beginning to solve crimes now...

Welcome to yet another episode of Thought Cops. This week, we're talking about new symbols from Alex Jones (who isn't a professional symbol maker), the death of Pepe the Frog, and the fact that the Oriental Express doesn't have any Asians in the main cast. This week we're joined by Deputy Robbie from Moovedia and The Dirty Nines . He's got the scoop on how the government is working nonstop to shut...

Welcome to episode 13 of Thought Cops. This episode we talk about #FireColbert, the failed Fyre Festival, and firing Jimmy Kimmel out of a cannon for his disgusting healthcare propaganda. This week, we're joined by special guest Deputy Doug. This was our first time with a three mic setup, so sorry ahead of time for the amount of extra noise in the audio. It'll sound better next time. At least it s...

Welcome to episode 12 of Thought Cops. This episode we talk about stupid pants, Bill Nye the Cringe Guy, and the Apocalypse. Oops, I mean the "Adpocalypse." My bad. One's the end of the earth, the other is a group of people that call disgustingly call themselves "Youtubers" making twenty minute long videos complaining about "the community." The War on Berkeley continues today with Ann Coulter's sk...

Hold onto your 2017's ladies and gentlemen, because we're going in: it's yet another episode of Thought Cops. This week we've crossed the 100 download barrier, almost doubling our downloads from when we got our podcast up on iTunes. This week we cover the war happening between the Alt-Right and the Antifa that's occurring on the three different planes of existence: the physical plane, the ideologi...

Welcome to big episode number 10 of Thought Cops. Today the Easter Bunny brought you not only a new episode, but a brand new theme song so awesome that you'll want to grab whoever is sitting next to you and bash their face into an armrest. This week we have a number of repeat offenders we have to deal with that didn't learn their lesson the first time around, starting with United Airlines. By the...

Welcome to yet another episode of Thought Cops. This week we cover topics such as diversity killing comic book sales, Elizabeth Warren paying women less than men, and the one thing Nazis just can't seem to get enough of: milk. Milk so white it's not even allowed to even look at a Science March, let alone walk in it. But the top story this week is what's on everyone's lips right now: a nice, cold,...

Welcome to yet another episode of Thought Cops. This week we cover a number of contentious issues, such as employee dress codes, furry fetishes, and breastfeeding other people's children. But first... Da Vinci. Beethoven. Dostoevsky. ... Emmanuel Santos? Is his name to be included with the greatest artists of all time? Probably not. Who are we to judge his terrible bust of, uh... some sort of huma...

Welcome to yet another episode of Thought Cops. This week we cover topics such as Tomi Lahren's suspension from her show on The Blaze, Tim Allen's wacky, zany, time travelling adventure into 1930's Germany, and finally, you'll never guess which superhero shaves his or her armpits. I'll give you a hint: it's none of the ThunderCats. If any of this podcast offends you, just write in to us saying "ou...

Welcome to Thought Cops: Episode 6. Or if you're George Lucas, you wouldn't call it anything, because I'm guessing George Lucas doesn't listen to this podcast. If you're wondering, that's the end to these jokes. They've run their course by now, I'm sick of them. This week we talk about how weight scales trigger people that go to gyms, Snoop Dogg shooting a fake gun at "Ronald Klump," and laws that...

Welcome to episode 5 of Thought Cops, or if you're George Lucas, episode "I hate sand because it's coarse and it gets everywhere." The year is 2017. On today's episode, we cover a wide range of topics, from Women's Day, to gay Disney characters, to Roger Stone calling stupid fat ugly bitches what they really are: stupid fat ugly bitches. Should the truth get you banned from the internet? I don't k...

Welcome to episode 4 of Thought Cops. Or, if you're George Lucas, episode 1. On this episode, we talk about the most important issue facing today's youth: what gender Garfield is. The answer may shock you. We also uncover a secret, clandestine fact that's been hidden from us for decades: that people still give a fuck about Garfield. I should really move on from this, but I seriously can't get over...

Welcome to Thought Cops. The year is 2017. We start off this episode by sentencing a large portion of last week’s perpetrators to euthanization, and it only gets better after that. If you can’t do the crime, don’t think the crime, that’s what I say. This week we tackle Milo Yiannopolous’s ultimate downfall. He really shit into the fan with his latest batch of controversial opinions, which got his...

Wee-woo wee-woo, welcome to the second episode of Thought Cops, with your hosts Officer Kevin and Officer Grant. On this week’s episode, we get right into it: the newest symbol of the Alt-Right Neo-Nazis, Netflix’s genocide against Caucasians, the newest N-Words you’re not allowed to say to journalists, and Youtube’s top Youtuber, Pew-die-pie comes out as an Anti-Semite. If Trump was literally Hit...

Welcome to Thought Cops, the only podcast where we bring in what’s enraging everybody online in order to properly punish them for breaking society's most important social contracts. This is our inaugural episode, so we begin by talking about things from the past year, from the downfall to Ken Bone, to racist Harambe memes, to punching Nazis. We hope to get a good approval rating going into this wh...