This vs. That

This week, we’re revisiting an important conversation from an earlier season of This vs. That . When does harshness in a relationship cross the line into abuse? And how can we recognize the difference when the signs aren’t always obvious? In this episode, we sit down with Darby Strickland, counselor and faculty member with the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation (CCEF), to talk about...

On this episode of This vs. That, we share the first half of a conversation from our sister podcast, Consult the Counselor . Brian Walker talks with Anchored Virtual counselor Josh Clink about the difficult and nuanced work of counseling abusive men. Together, we consider how abuse uses patterns of power and control, why those patterns can be difficult to recognize, and how counselors and pastors...

On this episode of This vs. That, we talk with Bekah Hannah and Abbey Wedgeworth about fearful versus wise engagement in parenting. Drawing from their recent books and their own experiences raising children, Bekah and Abbey help us think about what it looks like to prepare our kids for a difficult and unpredictable world without parenting from a place of fear or anxiety. We talk about why parentin...

On this episode of This vs. That, we sit down with Dave Wiedis, author of The Spiritually Healthy Leader: Finding Freedom from Self-Sabotage , to discuss how hidden motives and ruling passions can quietly undermine our leadership, relationships, and intimacy with Christ. We explore the warning signs of self-sabotage, the danger of confusing ministry success with spiritual health, and the importanc...

On this episode of This vs. That, we talk with Portia Collins about freedom in Christ vs. living in bondage. Drawing from her book Finding Freedom in Christ: An Eight-Week Study of Galatians and her own story of coming to understand the gospel more fully, Portia helps us explore what Paul means when he says that Christ has set us free. We discuss how biblical freedom differs from our culture’s ide...

On this episode of This vs. That, we talk with Tim St. John, counseling pastor at Lighthouse Community Church and author of After Church Hurt , about faithful wounds versus church hurt. We consider the important difference between the discomfort that comes from loving correction within the body of Christ and the destructive pain that results when sinful patterns are minimized, normalized, or prote...

On this episode of This vs. That , we talk with Peter Beck about lament versus despair and his deeply personal experience with PTSD. Drawing from his book, The Dark Night of the Soul , Peter shares how trauma reshaped his life, challenged his understanding of strength, and brought him face-to-face with seasons when he knew God was present but struggled to feel His nearness. We talk about the bibli...

On this episode of This vs. That, we talk with Phil Newton about confession versus self-loathing. Phil helps us understand the difference between agreeing with God about our sin and trying to punish ourselves for it. We discuss why true confession leads us to Christ, how self-loathing can become a form of self-reliance, and why Jesus’ finished work is enough for our guilt and shame. We also talk a...

On this episode of This vs. That, we talk with Karrie Hahn about the difference between miserable comforters and godly comforters in chronic suffering. Drawing from her book, Limping Heavenward, Carrie helps us consider how well-intentioned words, spiritual soundbites, avoidance, and neglect can add weight to those who are already suffering. We explore why true comfort requires humility, compassio...

On this episode of This vs. That, we talk with Rebekah Hannah about her book The Secret to Confidence and the difference between focusing on our identity in Christ and rooting our confidence in Christ Himself. We reflect on how self-focused “identity talk” can subtly become a self-help tool, why real stability can’t come from our performance (or from other people), and how beholding Christ changes...

On this episode of This vs. That, we celebrate our 80th episode by pulling back the curtain on eight seasons of the podcast. We reflect on what we've learned through this journey, discuss the original intention behind the show, and share how the podcast has evolved over time. We talk about finding our voice as co-hosts, the spiritual and emotional tone we hoped to create, and how our conversations...

On this episode of This vs. That, we explore a tension that many in ministry face: being needed versus being known. We're joined by Rebekah Hannah and Kari Ann Tilson, co-founders of Rode Leadership, a partner organization of Anchored Virtual. We discuss Rode Leadership's upcoming pastor's wives cohort and examine why this topic is especially relevant for pastor's wives. Pastor&#39...

On this episode of This vs. That, we sit down with Jared Wilson to explore the tension between gospel-centered and issue-driven ministry. We ask whether gospel centeredness was just another evangelical trend or if it remains essential to the DNA of healthy Christians and churches. Jared breaks down what gospel-centered ministry actually means—centering on Christ in Scripture, trusting grace for he...

On this episode of This vs. That, we explore the relationship between professional counseling and everyday counseling with Dr. Kristin Kellen, associate professor of biblical counseling at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary. We discuss how these two forms of counseling exist on a spectrum, examining the differences in formality, reciprocity, and structure. We consider the biblical foundatio...

On this episode of This vs. That, we welcome back Yana Jenay Conner to explore the difficult but essential work of forgiveness in close friendships. We discuss why forgiveness matters so deeply in our faith and why it's such hard work when friends wound us. We examine what makes God's way of forgiveness different from our culture's approach, moving beyond self-centered freedom to an ot...

On this episode of This vs. That, we sit down with Ronnie Martin, pastor and Director of Leader Care and Renewal for the Harbor Network, to explore unhurried ministry versus anxious ministry. We dig into why so many ministry leaders find themselves overextended and running ragged. Ronnie shares insights from his book "The Unhurried Pastor," co-authored with Brian Croft, which draws on Eu...

On this episode of This vs. That, we sit down with Darby Strickland, faculty member and counselor at CCEF, to discuss understanding trauma versus simplistic responses to trauma. We explore what trauma really is and how it impacts people—disrupting their sense of self, safety, and ability to connect with others and the Lord. Darby helps us recognize common simplistic responses that can unintentiona...

On this episode of This vs. That, we sit down with Brad Hambrick, pastor of counseling at the Summit Church in Durham, North Carolina, to discuss one of the most painful experiences a marriage can face: betrayal. We explore the tension between idealized expectations of quick healing and the reality that recovery requires an intentional, patient process. Brad shares why "rarely is the first st...

On this episode of This vs. That, we sit down with Trevin Wax and Thomas West to explore their new book, The Gospel Way Catechism: 50 Truths that Take On the World . We discuss how catechisms serve as powerful tools for spiritual formation and discipleship in an ever-changing culture. Trevin and Thomas share the inspiration behind their work, drawing from the influence of Lesslie Newbigin and Tim...

On this episode of This vs. That, we explore one of the most important yet often misunderstood aspects of Christian marriage: sex. We sit down with Scott Mehl, pastor of Cornerstone Church of West LA and author of Redeeming Sex and Marriage , to discuss the difference between self-centered sex and God-centered sex. We tackle questions like: What is God's design for sex and marriage? Why does p...

On this episode of This vs. That, we welcome Rebekah Hannah, not as our usual co-host, but as a special guest to discuss her leadership journey and the upcoming Women in Leadership cohort offered by Anchored Virtual starting in September. We explore how this cohort creates a space for women serving in various leadership roles to come together, find encouragement, and receive valuable teaching. Bec...

On this episode of This vs. That, we talk with Dr. Nate Brooks about navigating the tension between honesty and cynicism when dealing with chronic illness. We discuss how the church often struggles to address the realities of chronic pain in authentic ways, sometimes offering shallow platitudes rather than genuine understanding. Dr. Brooks, an associate professor at Southeastern Baptist Theologica...

On this episode of This vs. That, we talk with Harrison Scott Key, author of the incredibly popular book "How To Stay Married" as well as "Congratulations, Who Are You Again?" and "The World's Largest Man" (winner of the Thurber Prize for American Humor). We explore the theme of fairytale versus real marriage through Harrison's raw, honest, and often humorous...

On this episode of This vs. That, we explore the profound topic of rejection and how we respond to it with our special guest Tabitha Panariso. We dive into the contrast between hiding and being held when facing rejection in our lives. Tabitha, a licensed professional counselor, writer, and speaker, shares her personal journey with rejection and how these experiences shaped her identity. We discuss...

On this episode of This vs. That, we explore the relationship between the church and outside counseling resources. Our guest, Garrett Higbee, shares his extensive experience as founder of 12 Stones and president of Soul Care Consulting International. We discuss the challenges churches face when navigating the counseling world, from concerns about liability to questions about theological alignment....