This Isn’t Therapy

This Isn't Therapy... it’s an *encore* conversation about being chronically online. In segment one, Jake and Simon talk about Brené Brown’s recent splash back into social media (welcome back BB!) and read an excerpt from her tear-jerking blog post where she talks about taking time away from the internet. In segment two, Jake and Simon chat about the pros and cons of being constantly online and wha...

This isn’t therapy… it’s an *encore* conversation about when the past is present in the therapy room. In this episode, Jake and Simon explore two therapy terms, transference and countertransference, to open up a conversation about what happens when clients own history is transferred onto a therapist and what happens when a therapist’s own history is transferred onto a client. It’s a conversation y...

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* fun, flirty convo about adapting to scenarios while keeping your values in check (*DING*). On this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon discuss two lovely listener stories, safe spaces, the embarrassing Ontario Catholic school board's decision to ~not~ fly a pride flag, and our new queer icon, Tina the Troll. Also, stay tuned to the end of the ep because we m...

This Isn't Therapy... it’s an *encore* episode about thinking, over-thinking, and sorting through seas of misinformation online. In segment one, Jake and Simon discuss findings from a small study by PlushCare which looked at videos on TikTok and misleading mental health information. In segment two, they discuss how collecting and consuming mental health information online isn’t the same as applyin...

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* conversation about people pleasing. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore the root of people pleasing - where the behaviour stems from and how it comes to be. How do I stop people pleasing??? Get ready to laugh/cry/uncover the phenomenon known as the chameleon child. "Trying to make life fair for people around you doesn’t make up for t...

This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 2) fun, flirty, fabulous convo about our needs! If you haven't listened to part one yet, what are you doing?! Go listen and then come back, Wendy!! In this episode, Jake and Simon expand on our types of needs and introduce us to our core relational needs of safety, belonging and mattering (the tandem needs!) and then discuss the difference between Mimetic Desir...

This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 1) conversation about our needs - what are they? Why is everyone talking about them? And how do you know if your needs are being met? What follows is a funny and fabulous convo about Primal, Survival, and Growth needs (oh my!) This episode is essential for anyone out there wondering: what are my needs?! Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Hos...

This Isn't Therapy... it's the pinocchio-inspired epi about lying to your therapist. In this episode, Jake and Simon use a case scenario as a study about lies, fibs, and fairytales in the therapy room. They talk about what may lie beneath our lies (hehe) and can what happen when a therapist may suspect a lie is being told. P.S. The notes we were singing are Bb and A! ;) Don't forget, Mary: Submit...

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* conversation about becoming an emotional adult. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the mirage of adulthood and the search for the "real adults". They dive into an article by Kathryn Jezer-Morton for The Cut called Does anyone feel like an actual adult? This one's for all the adults who feel like they’re wearing a grown up costume or cosplaying as an a...

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* episode about dealing with emotionally immature people. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about spotting the signs of an emotionally immature adult and how emotional immaturity in parents can impact the children they're raising. We're returning to a beloved format in this epi-- lovely listener submissions + expert-level quotes = one juicy convo! ‎💋‎💋 Art...

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* doomy episode about the ever-evolving landscape of doomslang. Doomslang, coined by author and linguist Amanda Montell, is a term used to describe dystopian jargon like “dumpster fire” and “doomscroll” and “bed rot”. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how the constant conjuring of End Times is having surprising, unintended, and maybe even dangerous, co...

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* deep dive into self-improvement influencers and the impact they're having on men: " how to be more alpha by yelling at the ocean!! How to get a six pack by eating a pound of raw liver a day!! Why being sad is a state of mind so go chew on a football!!!! Oh no!! Don't fret though, Simon and Jake keep it flirty and fun as they discuss the online obsession wit...

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* convo about makin' new friends, Mary! In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about our social health and what's getting in the way of making new friends and forging new social connections. They also discuss if it's good or bad to connect with people really fast and tackle a listener question about building a new circle of friends. *NEW* Submit a quandary...

This Isn't Therapy... it’s an *encore* episode about being broken up with by a therapist. In this episode, Jake and Simon read two stories, one submitted to the Reddit r/AskATherapist community and one submitted by a Lovely Listener! Jake and Simon break down some of the reasons why therapists may also break up with a client. It's a juicy one! P.S. The debate about hand washing has been settled! G...

This isn't therapy, baby, it's a conversation about dating and modern relationship expectations. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about hook up culture and the current dating landscape for singles, one where dating apps (and one company in particular!) set the tone for our future with one another. They talk about "situationships" and how to spot the characteristics of a situationship-- a casua...

This Isn't Therapy... it’s a conversation about problem spotting, hot take culture, the loss of expertise, and the pressure to have an opinion about everything. Get ready for some hot takes about hot takes! In this episode, Jake and Simon unpack an article written by Jake called You Don’t Have To Be The Fixer. Let's get into it, Mary! A quote from the article: “You do not need to fix every problem...

This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-time-coming conversation about personality differences and mental health! In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about The Big Five personality types - Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism (recently re-termed Emotional Stability). They talk about the difference between personality traits and a mental health issue (they oftne ge...

This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about the best friends forever myth. There is so much pressure to find your other half, your #squad, someone to share that BFF bracelet with. But what happens when you don't have a BFF? Do "best friends" even exist? On this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon chat through an article in the Standard (source below) and discuss what happens when you get hung...

This isn't therapy... it's some straight up real talk about depictions of therapy in popular media. Simon and Jake talk about the emerging media genre of fly-on-the-wall therapy. From explosive couples’ dramas on TV to podcasts with recorded therapy sessions, fly-on-the-wall therapy is pulling in huge audiences. But is it ethical? Is it exploitation? Is it just unhealthy voyeurism? In this episode...

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* critical look at the argument that children need less therapy, not more, and how this "mental heath culture" is stripping parents of autonomy, ultimately causing more harm than good. In this episode, Jake and Simon dive into a review (written by Anna Nordberg for Slate) for a book by a right-leaning conspiracy theorist titled Bad Therapy. "In Bad Therapy, S...

This Isn’t Therapy… it’s an *encore* discussion about “phubbing”— the act of snubbing someone with your phone. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about phone use and how it impacts our relationships with friends, family members, and partners. They also talk about a recent study, which found that higher phone use was associated with more relationship problems, and an article by a therapist, calle...

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* episode about the pursuit of endless bliss. Many people arrive to therapy with a "fantasy goal" thinking they want to be calm, happy, and relaxed all the time. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon talk about how to find a realistic sense of joy, happiness, purpose, and pleasure and what we can (or should) expect from life. This episode is for t...

This Isn't Therapy... this is an *encore* conversation about becoming the stand-in parent for the people around you. Are you the one always making the plans? Do find yourself saying "don't forget to..." a lot? When did you sign up to coach the people around you into "becoming the better version of themselves"? Oh, mama. Let's talk. Take out your finest quill and parchment because we're chatting th...

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* episode about some hard truths learned in therapy. Ever wonder how to give your therapist some feedback?! Or even how would my therapist react if I gave them some feedback?! Through a story posted by an anonymous reddit user, Jake and Simon examine a therapists' struggle after they received some challenging feedback from a client. Then, through some lovely...

This Isn't Therapy... it’s an *encore* discussion about the importance of mattering. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about mattering, a feeling of meaningful significance to others, and what that looks like, sounds like, and feels like in relationships. Jake walks us through the questions he asks his clients when they report that, or he gets the sense that, they feel like they don't matter to...