This is Not a Podcast

happy sunday my pretties!!! just wanted give you a lil update on LIFE. ♡ here is my burn toast situation this morning: ALSO…. correction on the bull tarot card: IT WAS A BUFFALO (which is even more adorbs) okay that is all i got for ya!!! xoxo - Bx support women in the arts!!! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit pret...

Recorded - Jan 6 . 2025 hello you beautiful people !!!! i missed VN-ing you so let’s walk & talk.

WELCOME TO THE FIRST EPYYYYY OF THE PRETTY SHITTY HOTLINE!! Where we unpack all the pretty shitty stuff going on in your life. Ft. mi new cameo hoodie from walmart that I’m obsessed with, my singular perky eyebrow in need of a sedative that I’m not so obsessed with, and billy broadcasting from germany in a dark room parked in a red gamer chair that he acquired from literally god knows where… Today...

Excuse me while I’m just out here being fit as fuqqq… And on that note. . . A moment for the jet black hair while I wait for mi elevator ᵕ̈ My spirit when I realized I paid $52 for this mid ass bite but am too emotionally committed to stop and shall now suffer in overwhelm, forevermore. LOVE YOU BYE !!!!!!

HEY HAPPY JULY 4TH!!! Let’s talk about America… sry my brain is half functioning in this VN and I added a lil diddy (not p) on the end for some flavaaaflav as I rush to get ready to go to the lake so mi familia doesn’t yell at me for being a SLOWMOoO0o. But none the less, substack first! HOPE YOU GET OUTSIDE AND SMILE BIG AND POP UR SHIT TODAY XOXOXOXOXOXO I G2G BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE YELLING AT ME TO...

Brown bagging cherries to the mouth. Fingers sticky with Swiss chocolate melting down my hands. There’s no AC in Europe. I’m sweaty, jacked up on sugar, and stupidly happy on this summer Sunday. I hand picked each cherry at the local market in Basel and my mother-in-law hand picked this chocolate bar just for me. These cherries know how much I love them and my bonus mom knows how much I love choco...

have a sunflower daaaayyyy!!!! ♡ ♡ ♡ xoxo kombucha doesn’t suck This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit prettyinperson.substack.com/subscribe

GUYS. It’s not even close. Like, this is a shockingly embarrassing reveal… Shout out to Good Mythical Morning!!!!! You guys are savage and we’re obsessed. Final Score: Choose your fighter… (but don’t choose Jim u fool!!!) XO - Bx subscribe if u hungry now This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit prettyinperson.substack.co...

WHY IS ORDERING FOOD SO HARD????? No but seriously where do I order from rn cause I can’t feel my brain & need someone to burrito wrap me in a blanky & sing me sweet lullabies about chocolate from Dubai until my cravings for everything and nothing are gone. Oh. Actually, maybe a burrito would be kinda nice?? WILL WRITE SOMETHING OF SUBSTANCE SOON. Here’s a video of my dog: Catch ya later, h8zzz !!...

Things are happening. Coffee is Good. DAMN. Life is Magical. x0xoxOxoxox0xOxoxOxox0xoxO0o0o0oOo ♡ ♡ ♡ - Bx voice notes are so cute This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit prettyinperson.substack.com/subscribe

Hi, you perfect, ridiculous specimen, you. It’s Wednesday. Go forth. Have a hump. And look at pretty stuff. Otherwise, what’s the point? Love you, BYE!!! - Bx subscribe if u like pasta, if u don’t… jail. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit prettyinperson.substack.com/subscribe

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit prettyinperson.substack.com Voice Note Housekeeping: Free subscribers get a 3-minute teaser—just a taste. Paid subscribers? You get the full shabang. The other day I published this note: It came from me rambling in the voice note above—fresh out of Publix, clutching a shiny new box of Sugar-Free Watermelon Red (my fav & it’s so addictin...

WOOHOOO! Another drunken ramble from The Rizzlers. *** this will be our last freebie full pod before Girl Brain vs. Boy Brain launches where there will be a paywallywall so send in your questions and up that grade if you standin’ on bizzzziness *** Highlights because I know you’re busy: 5:37 - Billy’s BRUTAL opinion on friendships [apologies in advance to anyone out of state he’s still pretending...

HEY! Alright, so, here’s the deal — I recorded a voice note explaining why I’m finally putting up a paywall. MEH! Existential crisis? Dismantling societal construct? A little of both? You decide. As promised here is the Pretty in Person FAQ + Glossary breakdown. I also linked this in my ‘about tab‘ too ᵕ̈ ALSO — drumroll — Billy and I finally set up a way for you to send in questions, situations,...

Becca and Billy witness the unthinkable—snow in Florida. But as kitchen hijinks spiral and beer pong turns into full-blown psychological warfare, Billy drops a perfectly timed penis joke… which flies right over Becca’s head. Shocker. happy friday you crazy kids! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit prettyinperson.subs...

What’s one thing a clogged toilet and a plunger have in common? Me. Apparently. Lol. Armed with a resume, plunger, and a clementine for good measure. Life’s weird. Toilets are weirder. Keep flushing, kids - bye! Bx This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit prettyinperson.substack.com/subscribe

HEY FRIENDS! We’re back. And cuter than ever. Hope you enjoy 4 real and lol sfm - I know we sure as hell did. I’d say more, but it’s 10pm as I write this and I have wine to drink and nothing to do. Have the best TOOOOSDAY. Slay the day, my chiquita bananas. And don’t forget to overtip your barista ᵕ̈ NIGHTY NIGHT!!! Love, love… - Bx omg you’re gorgeous This is a public episode. If you'd like to di...

I need to start this off by saying that posting this while LA is up in flames feels wrong. Watching hundreds of thousands of people lose their homes while I sit here babbling about the hot-girl advantage of a spray tan and excitement of trivia night feels both ignorant and pointless. LA holds a special place in my heart, and seeing the devastation it's enduring is gut-wrenching. This is a harsh re...

OK, HEY! Hi. It’s me. B ᵕ̈ Apologies for my 2 week(ish) hiatus, but honestly, not really. Pouring my soul and spilling my guts onto the internet like an all you can keep Chinese buffet is exhausting - especially when you have your family coming to visit you for a lil two week Euro tour. From the planes to the trains, the vine to the wine, and the existential crisis of watching an old greek man yan...

The thing about voice notes is you can’t do them wrong. Bad? Sure. But wrong? Never. Just keep swimming!!! Do that and you can’t mess it up. I think. ᵕ̈ Signing off. Dehydrated and a lil constipated. Deuces!!! B x pretty in person is a pretty cool substack This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit prettyinperson.substack.c...

Sorry I’m fired up today!!! But also, like, not really because you just got a free philosophical rock concert. Prego. [Low-key haven’t stopped laughing at myself for the editing of this VN for the past 10 minutes lol. It’s gettin ridiculous.] ANYWAY, first person to count how many times I said the F word gets a cookie. Dare I say Levain ... Also - special appreciation to all the cis-hetero men out...

Hey Pretty Fans, It’s B² here and we are ready to deep dive on a veryyyy spicy topic in today’s culturally complex (aka problematic) paradigm: cheating. We are going to chit chat about who gets to cheat, if today’s weird media landscape is adding fuel to this fire, and what the hell is even considered cheating these days?? Additional cameos starring: * Too much wine * My fathers pajamas * Hodor *...

Honestly, I’m just going to post the YouTube Video of Virgil because, let’s be real, he convey’s this message better than I ever could. I’ve probably watched this video about 50x over in the past few years, but this month is the first time I actually feel like I am embracing his words rather than enduring them. I think that’s just what time does - it humbles you, building resilience, patients, and...

Happy Monday! Just a silly little sound byte of me spiraling when editing our first pod, and Billy doing what Billy does best - roasting me, pulling me out of my head, and making me laugh until I forget why I cared in the first place. If you haven’t watched the 2 part ep here’s a linky-dinky to join in on the fun: Have the best day ever!!!!!!!!!!! Chicken in marinara, Bx This is a public episode....

Hey! This Sunday really got me in my feels… Mercatino di Brera, which is an irresistible, pricey adorable flea market located by Chiesa di San Marco in Brera - the most charming neighborhood in Milan (I’m biased being that I happen to inhabit it). It happens every third Sunday of the month, therefore the third Sunday of each month is my favorite day ever. I only have two third Sunday’s left in Mil...