This Is Livin'

"I can do anything!" "I am stuck..." "I can change." "This is just how it's going to be." "I can do this." "I am the way I am." Which of these statements are correct? Of course, all of them! and depending on what YOU believe, the statements in your head are correct too.

Condition Thought Feeling Action Result I learned the CTFAR model when I was going through my overcome pornography training. This model has benefited my life in so many ways, many of which were very unexpected. We cannot change our circumstances, but we can change how we think about them and how we think about them will give us a feeling about that circumstance. We act based off of how we feel and...

How would you show up for yourself in your life if Jesus Christ had just told you He was so proud of you??? Bill Annes graciously shares one of the most sacred experiences of his life: His Near Death Experience. In 2011, Bill's health was declining and he ultimately flatlined and died for a short period of time. During this time, Bill went to Heaven and was embraced by the warmth, love and enc...

Each one of us gets to determine if our problems define us. Interestingly, problems can create the need for adherence to systems that bring us closer to achieving our purposes and goals.  Without “problems”, our brains often create drama, anxiety, or seek out offense. If we notice ourselves drifting through life and creating problems because we are not engaged in a good cause, this is a great sign...

Is the way we see life a misinterpretation of the truth? Is our view of the world obstructed by sticky notes on the walls of your glass box? I can’t wait to teach the principles of The  Glass Box : how your beliefs and stories shape everything you see, and how to peel them off so you can finally see clearly again. How you can deeply understand others by watching them view the world through THEIR O...

The moments we take for granted are numbered and there will be an end to each of them someday. If you knew how many times were left to go out on the town with your spouse, call your parents or kiss your kid good night, would you treat those experiences different? Are we building our testimonies on BIG spiritual moments that happen every so often? Of course, these aren’t bad experiences but can we...

It is our pleasure to share our conversation with Delight Clark who is also Hayden's MOM! There are many topics, ideas and experiences that we could have discussed but we chose to have Delight share one of her passions in how she helps people today. The DREAM MANAGER is just that. A person who helps manage other people's dreams for them to identify them and break them down into attainable...

Today we dropped off our little girl atpreschool for the first time—and it hit me. The pride in being her daddy, theoverwhelming love, the ache of letting her go… it all taught me something remarkableabout how our Heavenly Father feels about us. This is a solo reflection on whatfatherhood is teaching me about THE Father. https://open.spotify.com/episode/6HTSY3Fuu2sgXIaKrudNsZ?si=thxfBmSoR6eHVsUP-f...

We live in a world that labels us by what we’ve done—good or bad. But the truth is, your identity isn’t found in your failures or your highlight reel. In this episode, we open up about the dangers of shame, the trap of performance-based worth, and how to break free from both.   Whether you’ve been carrying the weight of your past or chasing your next win to feel “enough,” this conversation is a re...

Do you need a vacation from your vacation? Listen along as we jump into the challenge of taking an amazing trip or vacation but then finding yourself in a little bit of a slump in the days or weeks following. How do hormones and "feel good" chemicals play into this and what to do about it! What routines and habits can you build to look forward to when you get back? Not the ones that everyone says...

I am thrilled to share my conversation with Travis Webb. Travis has been our marriage therapist for almost 9 years. He has also counseled Dylan and I individually. Through years of learning from counseling others as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Travis answers some of these tough questions about addiction, pornography, environment, phones, victimhood and victim mentality.  What is the reason...

It's easy to find what is GOOD about something when everything seems to be going as planned. But what about when our plans aren't going as we intended or as fast as we would like them to? Can we still ask ourselves "What Is Good About This" in those moments too? And actually find something good?? When things seem to be going WRONG, it just means you haven't found what is good...

Take time this week to really think about and place intention on appreciating the freedom we enjoy and probably take for granted sometimes.

“When we’re attached to outcomes, we can rob ourselves of peace, growth, and joy. True freedom comes when we show up fully—but let go of the need for things to turn out a certain way. Can I get an Amen!” Attachment: “If this doesn’t happen, I’ll feel like a failure.” Detachment: “I did everything I could. The rest isn’t mine to carry.” Am I ATTACHED Assessment: Do I feel anxious or unworthy if thi...

Here are some of the lessons learned from trying to GET RICH QUICK 1. “The world has a beautiful way of showing you where you are wrong” Dan Martell 2. Reframing painful financial decisions 3. The Law of the Harvest 4. “Money makes you more of what you already are” Dave Ramsey 5. If money wasn’t an issue, who would you be? 6. Calculated Risk vs Blind Shot

Within the span of a few years, our friend Robin has endured some truly challenging trials. His example of how to respond to adversity is inspiring to us—and will inspire many who listen to this interview. • Prostate cancer • An eating disorder • Strokes • A misdiagnosis of Alzheimer’s “God means what He says…” “…so let us mean what we do!” Robin generously shares some of the triumphs he’s experie...

Are you having a hard time getting what you want? Is there anything you have been skipping over? Today I get to share where in my life I learned this principle of doing what I was capable of in the moment to be able to build up to doing something that I thought was never possible. The BASCIS in any area of life are foundational to the rest of success that can be wanted or expected in that area. Ko...

We can approach our shortcomings and mistakes so much better when we understand whether or not we are experiencing NATURAL CONSEQUENCES or unnecessary PUNISHMENT. Natural consequences can often times be accompanied by the guilt of making wrong choices. That guilt can encourage you to CHANGE and LEARN from your mistakes. But the punishment... self-inflicted or from someone else... can carry a hefty...

In the middle of feeling alone and betrayed, it was nearly impossible to imagine celebrating a wedding anniversary that wasn’t consumed by the challenges of pornography. For our NINE year wedding anniversary we want to share a message of encouragement! Dylan shares her through these topics… What was your reaction? Did you ever think about leaving? Why did you stay? What does choosing to stay look...

CONTENT WARNING: (Though we don't go into explicit detail of sexual abuse, some topics can be difficult to hear.) I (Hayden) am so happy to share a deep and meaningful conversation I had with my aunt, Cindy Stain. After losing her parents in a plane crash, Cindy, along with her five siblings, was orphaned at the age of four. Off to a rocky (understatement) start in life, Cindy had tougher chal...

Here are the phone notes I took in preparation for recording this episode… -I don’t have it figured out but… -I believe these principles, tools and truths can be applied broadly to habits and addictions generally -This is not a blueprint for everyone but perhaps there is some insight for everyone -Enlightenment vs Empowerment Some of these insights came from -Sara Brewers program -Talk therapy -Sc...

When you are in a difficult moment or period of your life, who is the right person to think of to help get you through that time? The right answer is whoever gets you through it! This is different for everyone and is also going to be different for each difficult circumstance. For example, I (Hayden) ultimately had to choose to remove pornography from my life for MYSELF. Whereas thinking about Toot...

CONTENT WARNING: (Though we don't go into explicit details of cases and events, some topics in this episode can be difficult to hear) Megan Carey is one of our dear friends and a helpful, loving member of our neighborhood, church and community. Megan has worked a dedicated career to serving kids and their families during the worst moments of their lives. We are privileged to hear Megan's s...

CONTENT WARNING: (Though we don't go into explicit details of cases and events, some topics in this episode can be difficult to hear) Megan Carey is one of our dear friends and a helpful, loving member of our neighborhood, church and community. Megan has worked a dedicated career to serving kids and their families during the worst moments of their lives. We are privileged to hear Megan's s...

Well...it's up to YOU! Join us today in our discussion about happiness. We are excited to reference credible people (in our opinion) who have a track record of being happy themselves and have done masterful work in helping others experience more happiness as well. This was a great opportunity to reflect on the happiest times of our lives and what made them so. Can you be happy despite challeng...