This Is It, I’m Just Me

In this episode I speak about bottom surgery, my crappy experience with the surgeon who was kinda of an airhead. The affect’s of testosterone blocker and my second long term relationship and his mother.

Anxiety wasn’t my friend in 2011, after getting my implants that summer. That following fall of decided that I wanted a job at a big discounted retail store. Winners was going to be my taste of working with fashion. But because of my anxiety it took a different turn. And I’m 2012 I’d go in a different direction and adventure. Listen in on this fun story. There’s so much more to me than you realize...

Trichotillomania Listen to my story about this. Not so often talked about disorder. Trichotillomania is part of a group of conditions known as body-focused repetitive behaviors. More information is listed at the website below. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/trichotillomania/symptoms-causes/

There’s nothing like sports bars and collage guys, as well getting my first surgery to feel more like me, getting my breast implants. My plastic surgeon was Dr Silverman right here in Ottawa. I’ll never forget the day I had them done June 7th 2011. Listen in on this short story.

Disclaimer: this episode talks about drug addiction. This story I speak about living with a sibling who becomes addicted to pain medication and then makes your life a living hell. The turn of events in this story is life changing. Something I’ll never ever forget.

Disclaimer this episode speaks about suicide attempt. If you need help text 988 in Ontario Canada. My mental health became worse before it got better. The inner voices were louder and telling me to do things. My therapist would end up putting me on strong antipsychotic medications. But there was light at the end of the tunnel because I’m a survivor.

We were the three angels but all of us were trans, We had the redhead, the brunette and the blonde. We were inseparable. We did everything together and these girls really changed my life. So much so that my life would never be the same.

When you’re in your late teens, one is not always smart. One is not always thinking of their actions. And you think your a know it all. We’ll listen in on this short story from a night of partying.

It was Toronto Pride 2000. I was at Fly nightclub and this red headed girl comes up to me as I was standing under a light wearing a platinum blonde wig, a white top with white feathers attached and white pvc gogo shorts and white pvc pleaser platforms. / My friend Nickolas had done a painting of me in 1996 when I was still doing baby drag. You can see that painting here https://www.instagram.com/p...

Summer air, nighttime street lights. Cars drive by slowly some stop for a moment and their windows are rolled down. What’s your name they ask?.

The makeup artist couldn’t believe my cheek bones. She said “We have to add blush”. As an extra we weren’t allowed to speak to the celebrities. We were second class citizens as far as the film crew was concerned. The movie 54 was being filmed in a waterfront sound stage in Toronto Ontario. Hear this fun memory and check out my scene here. https://youtu.be/bLBY_WQdaZA?si=bKEVjKkLglFhyNYO

When I was younger I was the skinny twing, as I grew older I had issues with it. I’ve always said I have this inner fat girl that likes to come out and play, sometimes she actually just pops out for fun and stays a while. I’ve had problems with my weight in the past. I’ve gained weight and lost weight, my weight seems to be more of the emotional kind. I’d like to share my history with my weight an...

A dry sauna with two gorgeous men sitting inside, little white towels covering their crotches. Steam and sweat dripping down their finally toned physique’s. Did I just walk into a dream or was this my new reality?.

Kevin looked like super man, with dark hair and a chisel jaw. He had the most amazing body, always dressed well and smelled amazing. He was 28 and I was 17. I’d call him from my high school pay phone on my lunch break. He loved Celine Dion and all the divas. We had a great relationship.

Born in November 12th 1979, 7lbs and 13 ounces. A beautiful baby boy was born but not without a few complications and a handful of learning difficulties and hardships going forward.

Welcome to the first of many episodes of my live memoir. I’ll be sharing stories of my life from the past to the present and the future as I live life.

Stop piercing your face my mother says to me. Just get a tattoo like your brother. I was having gum issues with my piercings. So in 2005 I got my very first tattoo and my second in 2016. Listen to this short story and what I got. My second tattoo story Knux Studio https://www.instagram.com/knux_studio

Guess Man or Woman? Male Or Female? & She’s A He! She’s Not The Girl You Think She Is! These are just a few of what show titles were when I was a kid. But these trans women were what I got to look up to when I was younger. This was the 90s. Also CSI Las Vegas Ch-Ch-Changes that aired in 2004 was my top favourite episode for a few reasons. Listen to this episode as it’s eye opening as a young trans...

My best friend is copying me was I believe the topic of the episode I was on or at the very least similar to that. For everyone who’s not familiar with this show. Jonovision was a Canadian television talk show aimed toward teenagers. The show aired for five seasons, from 1996 to 2001, on CBC Television.

If you heard the first part of this story then you will be very interested to listen to part 2. If you haven’t please do. And if you’re new to the podcast and not listening on Spotify please check it out. As usual I hadn’t heard from him for a little while. We didn’t always keep in touch all the time. And so I got a phone call from a number I didn’t know, in January of 2022. I answered because I w...

July of 2021 I decided that I’d like to try podcasting. I reached out to my friend at the time and producer of Jesse and Jenna’s Messy Podcast about cohosting and producing my own show. He agreed and we started working on it. Listen on the workings of a podcast show and the hurdles you can experience. Also to check out my first show you can listen on Amazon as well as here https://podcast.app/tran...

It’s now April of 2021, the start of the month was actually pretty hard for me mentally. And I wasn’t having a stellar time. I wrote a lot this month from poems to blog entries. I even wrote about a life update as well. Listen on this month of what I was experiencing.

It’s January of 2021 and I decided I needed an extended break from Instagram and Facebook. I was growing tired of the platforms and not really connecting with friends. So I decided I needed to leave the platforms. Listen in on this chapter and my thoughts on how it went.

Every child has hobbies and even as adults some of us have them, from playing with Barbie’s or playing a musical instrument to writing poems. Listen to this chapter of what some of mine were and what my hobbies are today.

In this bonus episode, I speak about my own experience with how I felt with time standing still, with how the affects of the first lock down made me feel and how the world began to change. People who had to stay at home, clear sky’s as far as the eyes could see and the crazy people hoarding toilet paper and how my anxiety was coming back.