This Is It, I’m Just Me

Six years, countless memories, and a connection that never quite fit a label. After nearly two years apart, one Grindr message on August 22, 2026 brought us back together. We’ve both changed, but somehow the chemistry is still there. Maybe we’ll connect again. Maybe we won’t. You never know what the future holds.

They look confident. They work out. They take charge. They might run the show all day long… but behind closed doors? Some of them are ready to get on their knees and hand over the reins. In this spicy and hilarious chapter, I explore a pattern I’ve noticed throughout years of dating and hookups: the supposedly dominant men who eventually reveal their submissive side. From online dating overshares...

Dating as a trans woman isn’t simply about finding someone who’s attracted to you. It’s navigating chasers, DL men, married men, couples, fetishization, secrecy, labels, sex, and a dating pool where words don’t always match actions. In this chapter, I talk about the realities of dating men in Ottawa, the statistics behind trans dating and relationship stigma, and why I’m still searching for someth...

If you Google Lana Poulson, you’re going to find quite a bit — articles, photographs, videos, podcasts, advocacy, art and pieces of a life lived publicly. But finding someone isn’t the same as knowing them. In this deeply personal chapter, I explore privacy, social media, growing older, ending friendships, changing opinions, past mistakes and the strange reality of having pieces of your life perma...

Cancer doesn’t just affect the person who receives the diagnosis—it can change an entire family. In this deeply personal chapter, I explore what it’s like to have watched cancer affect multiple generations of my family: losing my cousin to breast cancer and my aunt and godmother to pancreatic cancer, seeing two uncles survive prostate cancer, my maternal uncle undergo surgery for colon cancer, and...

Grindr is one of the easiest dating apps to actually connect on—no endless swiping, no waiting for a match, just people nearby and the ability to start a conversation. But that accessibility comes with another side. In this episode of This Is It, I’m Just Me , I take an honest look at Grindr from the good, the bad and the downright ugly: hookups, dating, friendship, love, catfishing, stolen photos...

After decades of dating, I have learned that words can be beautiful—but they aren’t always evidence. From the disappearing “good morning gorgeous” to promises to call that never become phone calls, I explore what happens when the excitement of early dating fades and you’re left looking at someone’s actual behaviour. Blending personal experience with current psychology and reflections on how dating...

We’ve been taught that being single means something is missing — but does it? In this chapter of This Is It, I’m Just Me, I explore singlehood, relationships, loneliness, and the changing ways people around the world seek connection. From changing attitudes toward marriage and living alone to Japan’s companion robots and the growing role of AI, we look at what happens when people want connection b...

Sometimes the people we grew up with become the people we no longer recognize. In this chapter, I explore sibling fallouts, resentment, aging parents, family expectations, caregiving, addiction and recovery, emotional exhaustion, and the difficult decision to step away from a sibling relationship. Because sharing blood doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your peace—and sometimes loving someone mean...

In this deeply personal episode, I talk about where I’ve been, why the podcast has been quieter, and the unexpected shift happening in my life. After years of being visible, performing, creating, and sharing so much of myself publicly, I’m learning what it means to live a slower, softer, more peaceful life. This isn’t a goodbye. It’s a reflection. It’s about burnout, depression, grief, healing, le...

In this chapter, I talk about what happens when you step away from the noise—like leaving Instagram and barely using Facebook—and start hearing yourself again. When the constant input of social media quiets down, it changes how you see everything: identity, attraction, and even yourself. Being in my own company lately has brought a sense of clarity and peace I didn’t expect. Without all that outsi...

In this chapter, I talk about something that often gets misunderstood—living alone. Not as loneliness… but as peace. As intention. As a life that’s been carefully shaped to feel calm, soft, and truly your own. I share what it’s like to create a home that reflects your inner world, where quiet isn’t empty—it’s grounding. Where your space begins to hold you, instead of drain you. And I also open up...

Continuing through the 1953 archives of Chatelaine, this chapter dives into two very different stories—The Story of Two Fat Men and From Merrie England to Massy by Judith Robinson. What starts as a simple reading quickly turns into something deeper, touching on health, identity, culture, and the way people thought and wrote back then. It’s fascinating to see how some things—like conversations arou...

In this first episode of Chatelaine: The 1953 Archives, I open the March 1953 issue of Chatelaine and begin at the very beginning — including a section where readers take over and share their opinions, reactions, and perspectives. These letters give a fascinating glimpse into what people were thinking, discussing, and debating at the time. Some thoughts feel surprisingly familiar, while others cle...

I didn’t post a farewell story. I didn’t announce a break. I just deleted Instagram. In this episode, I share why I made the clean cut, what it’s like stepping away from a platform that drains more than it gives, and how simplifying my digital life has helped me reclaim energy, focus, and real connection. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by scrolling, fake connections, or the constant highlight ree...

Lana dives into the Fire Horse energy—a bold, transformative force that shakes up life, clears old connections, and opens space for new beginnings. She shares her journey of letting go: ending draining relationships, shedding past selves, and even redesigning her space with a new dining table that reflects her evolving style. Blending Life Path 4 grounding with natural 8-year clearing cycles, this...

I love writing poems and creating stories with words and sound. In this chapter, I talk about how I bring my poetry to life, why I started sharing it in new ways, and how I use tools like AI to shape the sound, effects, and atmosphere that make my work feel alive. I also introduce my alter ego, Velvet L, and the YouTube space where my poems meet sound. https://youtube.com/@velvetlmusic

We’re living in a time where attention is currency and everything seems to come with a price tag. In this chapter, I reflect on fame, monetization, social media metrics, privacy, and why I’ve chosen to keep my creative work free. Not because I can’t monetize it — but because I don’t want to lose the joy of it. When the world measures your worth in engagement, how do you protect your soul?

🌍 Listeners Around the World In this special chapter of my documentary, I celebrate all 32 countries where this podcast is being heard. Together, we reflect on the state of the world, honor resilience and beauty in every culture, and remind ourselves that love, equality, and human rights matter for everyone. Sit back with your favorite drink or snack, no passport needed, and travel the world with...

Lately, it feels like aging is treated as a personal failure and perfection is something we’re all expected to chase. Wrinkles aren’t just lines anymore — they’re seen as flaws. Bodies aren’t allowed to change. Faces aren’t allowed to move. In this chapter, I talk honestly about how beauty standards have gotten out of control — from fillers and plastic surgery to filters, Instagram, TikTok, and th...

In this chapter, I talk honestly about why I’ve stepped away from online dating—not from love, not from connection, but from the apps themselves. As a trans woman who later came into herself as a lesbian, online dating taught me a lot… and also showed me exactly what no longer aligns. I reflect on two real experiences that shifted my perspective, why ENM and open dynamics—while valid for some—don’...

In “Aligned by Design,” explore astrology, numerology, and the inner guidance of energy and clarity. Discover how your Sun, Moon, Rising, Life Path, Soul, and Name numbers reveal patterns in love, work, and self. Learn why energy alignment matters more than surface attraction, how honoring your vibration strengthens your life, and why choosing yourself first is a powerful act of intentional living...

Siblings—the people we don’t choose, but who shape us in ways big and small. In this episode, Lana explores the ups and downs of sibling relationships, sharing personal stories, from celebrating her 19th birthday with her older brother to navigating transitions, support, and life’s challenges. She also dives into the psychology of sibling dynamics, including boundaries, partner relationships, and...

Chapstick Lesbian is about choosing clarity over performance. I didn’t change my style, my personality, or my femininity — I just stopped centering men. This chapter is about listening to your body, setting real boundaries, and allowing desire to tell the truth without shame. It’s honest, grounded, and about finally letting go of what no longer fits.

Therapy, diagnosis, and responsibility in modern trans healthcare. In this chapter, Lana explores why medical transition must be treated as serious healthcare — not a social trend. Drawing from her lived experience as a medically transitioned trans woman, Canadian healthcare data, and real statistics, she discusses the importance of therapy, diagnosis, and responsible access to care. She also expl...