This Is It, I’m Just Me

In this episode of I Still Want One, we dive deep into the complexities of long-term relationships. We explore the desire for connection and companionship. Why do we still crave romance, excitement, and those sparks of intimacy, despite the daily routines and challenges that life brings? We’ll talk about what it means to wanting something deeper that never truly fades. This episode will leave you...

Writing poems has always been my way of untangling the complex emotions that come with dating, especially the uncertainty of getting to know someone new. There’s something scary about the vulnerability it requires—letting down walls I’ve carefully built and opening my heart to possibilities, not knowing if I’ll be met with connection or disappointment. Each interaction feels like stepping into the...

At 45, I’ve found myself more emotional, sensitive, and loving than ever before. It’s as if time has peeled back layers, revealing a deeper connection to my feelings and the world around me. I no longer shy away from the emotions I once tried to suppress. Instead, I embrace them fully, knowing they bring richness to my relationships and experiences. Whether it’s the beauty in a quiet moment or the...

Last night, I attended a singles mixer that promised to be a space for all genders and sexualities. It was an open, welcoming environment, buzzing with people from various walks of life, all exploring connections in their own way. Yet once again, I found myself as the only trans woman in the room. It’s a familiar experience, one that brings its own unique blend of emotions—an awareness of both vis...

In this second chapter of The Ick Rich Factor, we dive into the uncomfortable reality of toxic relationships, particularly when wealth and narcissism are involved. I had to make the tough decision to end a friendship because my friend’s boyfriend—a wealthy, narcissistic creep—just couldn’t take no for an answer. His entitled behavior was a red flag I couldn’t ignore. What made it worse was watchin...

The Ick Rich Factor explores the complex, hilarious, and sometimes cringe-worthy experiences that come with friendships and their partners. I’ve now seen it all, this podcast chapter dives deep into the moments that give you the dreaded “ick”—those quirky, awkward, or downright bizarre traits that turn friendships into instant repulsion. Through my personal latest story as of last night. The Ick R...

Turn volume up!!! The conceptual outline of what will become a magnificent piece of art is sketched onto paper. Markers in a few colors are then applied to my soft, delicate skin. Tiny needles repeatedly pierce my pores, going ever so deeply. Ink floods the first few layers of skin, leaving behind a divine sensation of both pain and discomfort—exhilarating, warm, and deeply satisfying. Slowly, the...

Who doesn’t love some good smutty storytelling. What is it you might wonder, smut is obscene or indecent content of the sexually explicit side of literature. I’ve never gone or been to such an event before of this nature but was honoured to have been asked. I got my thinking cap on and off I went. It was nerve racking but so much fun. Listen to this chapter and make sure your volume is turned up.

And just like that, life keeps moving forward, time heals the heart and making new memories and experiences happen to us. Sorry I’ve been MIA have just been trying to get my mental health back together. Listen to this new chapter and hear what’s been going on with me. Check out my new tattoo and to follow me on instagram check out my insta page at https://www.instagram.com/mizlovelylana/profilecar...

We all deal with it to some level, Since Hopes passing it really had made mine come to the surface way more. I thought I had suppressed it enough but apparently not. So I decided to reach out for help. If you need help. It is out there! Just ask for it.

Losing a dog can be an incredibly painful experience, as these loyal companions often become cherished members of the family. The grief that follows can be as profound as losing a human loved one. Some people might find comfort in celebrating the life of their dog by creating a memorial, sharing stories, or looking at photos. Others might struggle with intense feelings of emptiness and sadness, ne...

On July 7th 2023 I decided to try and record Hope talking mainly because we used to have these fun cute conversations periodically and more so when we would play ball together. It was also right before I made her, her own Instagram page. But on this day it was just super special and now everyone gets to hear her little voice.

This chapter was extremely difficult to record and only three days later. Aug 26th 2024 was the finally morning that I’d spend with my baby girl Hope, she was the most precious positive good energy chihuahua you would have ever of met. Listen to this chapter of when she got sick and hope you are not having to go through this at this moment. If you have a sick dog or cat and you live in the Ottawa/...

When I decided to attend the last singles mixer in April, I also resolved to return to dating apps, hoping to find a partner by the summer. Now, at the end of July, I've given up on both that idea and finding someone online. Each year, I become increasingly disinterested due to the constant disappointment. Despite my self-love, self-respect, and the effort I've invested in myself, I only seem to e...

In this chapter of "Love Letters to My Younger Self," we delve into the profound act of writing love letters to our younger selves, focusing on themes of self-love and forgiveness. Through heartfelt narratives and introspective discussions, we explore how revisiting moments of vulnerability and regret can open pathways to healing. By penning these letters, we not only acknowledge our past mistakes...

Attention, trans attracted people! If you know we're looking for a relationship and a partner, for the love of god, stop lying to us just to get us into bed. If all you want is a hookup, be honest about it. We deserve to know if we're wasting our valuable time and energy on you. Cut the crap and show some respect!

Today I’m sharing the story of meeting Bob and Mike, two unforgettable characters who I had met in the late 90s and early 2000’s, and the dynamics of sugar daddy relationships during that era, shedding light on the joys and complexities they brought. And what I have learned from my past and what my view points are now.

In this chapter, we journey back to the late 1990s and reminisce about meeting a long-time friend at the famous Second Cup steps in Toronto's vibrant gay village. He was just 17 then, and our bond has only grown stronger over the years. Join us as we explore how our friendship has evolved and revisit some cherished memories in one of the city's most iconic spots. Whether you're nostalgic for the p...

In this chapter, we dive into the wild world of online dating and share stories from a recent singles mixer that had its fair share of surprises. I also explore the deeper meaning behind sacred geometry tattoos and what inspired me to get inked. Plus, I take you along on a trip to Toronto, where we reconnect with long-time friends and discover some hidden gems in the city. Whether you're swiping,...

Welcome to the adventures of 2024, from launching a new show to mastering the art of puff pastry, and finally getting those brows on point. But that's not all—who knew Ottawa had such a kinky side? Tune in to hear all about my first kink rave experience and discover the vibrant, hidden subcultures of Canada's capital. Whether you're here for the culinary tips, beauty hacks, or just a good laugh, t...

Welcome to this chapter of "Life in Progress." As 2023 drew to a close, I found myself navigating some significant life events. My dad's slow-growing lymphoma was a constant worry. To add to the mix, I threw myself a birthday party that turned out to be less than stellar, leaving me feeling more isolated than celebrated. And, as if that weren't enough, the dating scene was a struggle, filled with...

This chapter is dedicated to the wonderful and gentle soul, Loretta. She worked at Toronto's Cosmetic World on Yonge Street near Isabella Street, in the wig department. Loretta sold me my first wig and many others over the years. I always made sure to visit her when I traveled from Pickering to Toronto, and even after I moved away, I continued to stop by and see her during my visits over the decad...

In June of 2023, I attended a comedy show with my coworkers and, after smoking a little weed, I thought, "I could probably do that." Outside the venue afterwards, I chatted with a comic who suggested I give it a shot, convinced I had some great stories to share. Inspired, I reached out to the club for their next Pros Vers Joes show and began crafting my own material. You can watch my debut below...

I really started to notice the fine lines and dark circles under my eyes a lot this summer. In 2023, they became more pronounced, and I wasn’t a fan, not a fan in the least. Despite trying a variety of skincare products—creams, serums, and nothing seemed to make a difference. I experimented with different brands and ingredients, hoping to find that miracle solution, but the results were always dis...

Dating is never easy, and this summer was no exception. I tried Facebook Dating for the first time, and it turned out to be a complete disaster. I encountered some truly crazy individuals and even had to consider involving the police. This chapter is all about those wild experiences.