They Called This a Movie

WE HAVE THE POWER!    It's all beefcakes, stage actors, and ruined childhoods, as They Called this a Movie heads back to 80s Saturday morning cartoons to cover one of the most disappointing adaptations of all-time.  With Hobbs and Shaw in theaters this week, we tried to tie in this week's movie, but instead, we pivoted and watched Masters of the Universe, the 1987 film starring Dolph Lundgren as H...

The sun did not shine. It was too wet to play.  So we sat in the house all that cold, cold, wet day.  And then, we recorded a podcast. Last week, the trailer for the upcoming film adaptation of Cats dropped like a lead balloon. So, that got us thinking about the last time a celebrity dressed up like a cat for a worldwide audience. Unfortunately, that made us have to watch the 2003 adaptation of Dr...

From a vast and distant galaxy... A Space Adventure for all time! Or it's just your run-of-the-mill budget Star Wars film.  July 20th marks the 50th Anniversary of the Moon Landing, and to help celebrate, we decided to sit down and watch Starcrash, an Italian-produced film that has absolutely no similarities to any current Disney-owned properties.  Join us as we get together to discuss the crazy b...

You're killing me, Smalls! This week, we decided to jump right in to America's pastime with the second sequel to a beloved sports film, as the MLB celebrates its Midsummer Classic, the 2019 All Star Game.  You might be thinking: The Sandlot was a perfect movie. It doesn't need a sequel. But you're forgetting it had neither Luke Perry nor time travel, idiot. Kick back and listen from the nosebleeds...

No one thought it could ever happen here... This week, we're ringing in the nation's birthday with xenophobia, big guns, and denim. Lots and lots of denim. A group of terrorists invade the United States, hell-bent on tearing at the very fabric of this great nation. We're talking guys with guns blowing up neighborhoods, churches, and even shopping malls. Luckily, the terrorists didn't count on one...

The toys are back in town.  This week, we have a thematic double feature, as both Child's Play and Toy Story 4 face off for box office supremacy. Rather than watch any movies from those respective series, we decided to split the difference and watch Stuart Gordon's killer toy movie, Dolls, from 1987.  Spoiler alert: we all, more or less, enjoyed this movie. Listen as we discuss the quality of stop...

Amanda always knew she'd fall in love, she was just hoping for something human.    It's an alien-filled weekend as Men in Black: International hits theaters. By all accounts, it sounds like it could be a future They Called This a Movie entry, but for this week, we decided to track down a little seen made-for-cable movie starring Baywatch star, Nicole Eggert.  This is one of our more divisive movie...

Break out the short shorts and head towards the swimmin' hole. This week, They Called This a Movie is headed to summer camp!  Rather than watch a movie based on a new release, we decided to welcome the season of pools, sunburns, and cookouts with one of the most infamous summer camp movies of all-time: the 1983 slasher Sleepaway Camp.  Listen as we discuss this crazy movie, as we tackle everything...

Big Alien. Bat Attitude!  It's time to get comfortable as we sit back and watch some guy in a rubber suit destroy a small city.  Godzilla: King of the Monsters hits theaters this week, and while the original kaiju may have progressed past miniatures and costumes, we throw it back to some classic monster movie aesthetics with Kraa! The Sea Monster.  We discuss everything from Alison Lohman's career...

Let's green eggs and ham it up this week as we dive deep into the world of genie movies.  With Dan on vacation this week, Mark and Anthony get together to discuss Kazaam, the 1996 film starring Shaquille O'Neal, while the live action remake of Aladdin sets to hit theaters.  We discuss everything from the overt racism of the film, how Shaq's natural charisma is wasted in the movie, and just how baf...

It's time to sit close to the television, set it to channel 3, and pop in that little gray cartridge, because this week we're throwing it all the way back to the days of the original NES system. If this podcast doesn't work at first, take it out, blow on it, and plug it back in.  With Pokémon's Detective Pikachu set to hit theaters this week, we kick (get it?) back with some cheesy martial arts "f...

This. Was. Inevitable.  And We. Are. They Called This a Movie.    (NOTE: THIS EPISODE CONTAINS SPOILERS)   This week, we take a break from punishing ourselves to talk about a little indie flick called Avengers: Endgame. Ever heard of it?  Yes, even though we watched the Italian exploitation flick, Endgame, last week to help us prepare, we couldn't resist spending this week talking about the jugger...

A once-in-a-decade cinematic moment deserves a once-in-a-decade cinematic podcast... So you probably should look somewhere else.    Just kidding. We've got a jam-packed episode of They Called This a Movie as everyone gets super-hyped about Avengers: Endgame, coming out this weekend. It's everyone's favorite Italian post-apocalyptic exploitation film, Endgame, or Bronx Lotta Finale for the Italian-...

Repent, you heathens, as They Called This a Movie finds the faith.       It’s Easter Week, and Good Friday, specifically, so the gang gets together to watch a disaster movie of biblical proportions, with the 2000 Kirk Cameron vanity project, Left Behind: The Movie.     Before Avengers: Infinity War and The Leftovers, this Christian-propaganda flick paved the way for people snapping away for the pe...

CONTENT WARNING: THIS EPISODE IS VERY NSFW   Time travel, Ferris Bueller's girlfriend, and some sweet kicking action. It's all covered in this week's episode of They Called This a Movie.  This week, the brand new adaptation of Hellboy is tracking like a lead balloon into theaters, so we decided to tackle another Dark Horse Comics adaptation. We present to you the time-traveling sci-fi action flick...

Sometimes... Dead is better.  After taking a week off due to illness, we are back with a brand new episode of They Called This a Movie. Fittingly enough, this week, our movie is all about the dead coming back from the grave.  As both Shazam! and Pet Sematary get released to theaters this week, we decided to cover the latter, as there's ample time during the year to cover superhero movies. Rather t...

More like March BADNESS, amiright?    This week, it's all about basketball as the country gears up for the start of the NCAA Tournament, so why not watch a movie starring NBA superstar Kevin Durant?    Join Anthony and Mark as they dissect a truly baffling, but not completely unenjoyable, movie-going experience. They discuss how much the star of the movie drags down everything else around him, how...

Ahhh... lovely golden palaces completely full of riches. I'll rip 'em off and rob 'em blind, those dirty sons of bitches.   Happy St. Patrick's day to one and all! We're donning the green today for a very festive episode celebrating the Luck o' the Irish.   It's time for Leprechaun 3, that one time that Warwick Davis's titular baddie went to Vegas before he went to Space and then to the Hood... tw...

In Soviet Russia, Avengers Assemble you!    It's a superhero extravaganza with a Siberian twist, as we get ready for Captain Marvel, coming to theaters this week.    This week's movie is Guardians, the first Russian superhero movie ever made, and it's... barely a movie. We discuss any fleeting moments that we enjoyed, how a movie with a bearman could be so boring, and the film's possible pro-USSR...

No ring. No ref. No rules.    For episode 23, we head back to the kayfabe days of the World Wrestling Federation and the height of Hulkamania, as it's been reported that Chris Hemsworth will be tapped to don the red and yellow in a biopic project centered around Hulk Hogan.    For this news, we decide to tackle No Holds Barred, the first starring role by Hulk Hogan, co-written and produced by Vinc...

It's a fantasy extravaganza this week, as we prepare for the release of How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World.    How do we celebrate one of the biggest family films of the year? By watching an exploitation film, of course!   This week, we cover the Roger Corman-produced Sorceress, a film that doesn't feature a sorceress or dragons. What it does feature are twin Playboy Playmates, creepy goat...

Say it. Out loud.    New Episode!    Happy Valentine's Day to all our listeners. We hope that you have a special someone to share it with, and if you don't, just spend the day with us as we go head first into one of the biggest phenomenon of all time. It's the first installment of the Twilight series, originally released in 2008 and directed by Catherine Hardwicke.  Join us as we discuss the compl...

He's big, hairy, and we really wish he could shred on the guitar.   This week is pretty light on the new releases. Sure, The Lego Movie 2: The Second Part comes out, but that movie doesn't really lend itself to finding a similarly-themed film. But The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot does lend itself to terrible movies, so we scoured the internet for movies about Bigfoot, and amidst a wh...

It's an unexpected bonus episode of They Called This a Movie!    Earlier this week, we unfortunately lost the great character actor Dick Miller at the age of 90. A favorite of Roger Corman and Joe Dante, Dick Miller popped up in movies like Gremlins, The Terminator, Chopping Mall, and more.   All the way back in 2014, when we first toyed with doing a podcast like this, we did a string of movies in...

It's a very special episode of They Called This a Movie this week. Rather than cover bad movies this week, we're actually going to cover movies that we actually liked!    That's right. This week's episode has us running down our favorite films of 2018. We talk Marvel movies, horror flicks, and maybe a couple movies that have been nominated for the Academy Awards.    You can find us on iTunes, Stit...