They Called This a Movie

There are no rules...    There are no laws in...    THE KILLING ZONE!    This week, we picked a real time capsule of a bygone era: the early 1990s. It was an era of testosterone-fueled actioners on the big screen, which led to cheaper fare that made its way onto basic cable and video store shelves. It's a time of acid-washed jeans, mullets, and drop-the-mic zingers right when the good guy kills th...

This week's Grab Bag pick brings us back to college in one of the most infamous sequels of the era. Jason Bateman tries to replace Michael J. Fox in his first feature film role in Teen Wolf Too.    As we delve into this one, we discuss what kind of Hell puberty must be like for a guy that turns into a werewolf when he gets an erection, the legality of letting a werewolf box, and we even offer up t...

Happy 2019 everyone!    They Called This a Movie is back with our first episode of the new year. We took a couple weeks off, but FUGGEDABOUTIT! We're back!    As it is January, and Hollywood is in its Dump Month, we decided to take this month to do a Grab Bag handful of movies. This week, it's last year's instant "classic" gangster flick Gotti, starring John Travolta.    We dissect the MoviePass f...

S-A-N-T-A-C-L-A-U-S! Hooray for Santy Claus!  It's our last Christmas episode of the year, and boy is this one a real slog. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians gained notoriety by being featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000 and we've gotta say: why? This film is easily the most boring one we've done so far, and because of that, this is our shortest episode yet. Listen to us go throu...

Go Ninja Go Ninja GO! It's Christmas time for the Turtles as Mark and Dan record a podcast without Anthony.    This week, it's We Wish You a Turtle Christmas, a direct-to-video cash grab made during the final throes of Turtle Mania. There's some singing and dancing, but very little action or any of the original voices. At least it's mercifully short.    You can find us on iTunes, Stitcher, and Goo...

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, someone decided it was a good idea to make a holiday special starring the cast of Star Wars. On paper, this sounds like a pretty good idea. The only problem is that they don't make movies on paper.    Join us as we sit through a truly baffling experience, complete with porn-watching elderly wookiees, Jefferson Starship for some reason, and Harvey Korman....

Kill. Your. Idols.    They Called This a Movie is back, a week later than originally anticipated. We originally wanted to get this up in time for Thanksgiving, but some personal issues cropped up and had to push the record back a week. But luckily, this would have been the scheduled week regardless. So.. yay!    Anyway, rather than watching a terrible movie in vain, we decided to plow through with...

This week on They Called This a Movie is nothing but Riddikulus as we tackle the talking dog/wizard movie for kids, The Amazing Wizard of Paws, as Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindewald is set to hit theaters this week.  Join us as we discuss how much we love this dog actor, how the editing confuses some of the plot lines, and how we can find a kid face down in a pool so hilarious.  We even ge...

It's time. It's time. Time for the big giveaway. Halloween has come. All you lucky kids with Silver Shamrock masks, gather 'round your TV set, put on your masks and watch. All witches, all skeletons, all Jack-O-Lanterns, gather 'round and watch. Watch the magic pumpkin. Watch...   ...Or LISTEN, actually, to our very special Halloween They Called This a Movie podcast episode. This Halloween, we fin...

We've got a new episode of They Called This a Movie. Oh my Gooooooooooood!   That's right, this week, we tackle the Best Worst Movie. It's the infamous Troll 2 for our second Halloween-themed episode. It's Dan and Mark's first time watching this "classic" and they have a lot of questions. Mostly: what were the filmmakers thinking?    Don't forget to subscribe to us on iTunes or wherever you get yo...

It's our first of three very special 31 Days of Horror episodes for They Called This a Movie! This week, we're tackling a cult classic and one in which most of us have seen multiple times. It's the horror comedy Killer Klowns From Outer Space.  We discuss what we remember from this movie since the last time we watched it, our favorite scenes, and how it should be viewed. We also switch up the form...

Hey Vern, it's us: They Called This a Movie. This week, we're going back to high school to celebrate the new Kevin Hart movie, Night School, KnowwhatImean?  That's right: this week, we're traveling back to the 90s to relive the time where Ernest was a semi-prominent figure in pop culture, as we watch the straight-to-video Ernest Goes to School, the natural progression of the series.  This is the f...

It's a trip down memory lane for one of our hosts, as we check out a movie that played a very specific role in their teen years. As The Predator sets to hit theaters this week, we sit down to discuss a sci-fi/alien flick from the 1990's: the late night cable stalwart Species, starring Natasha Henstridge.  This episode is chock full of talk about the surprising pedigree of actors in the film, theor...

This week's episode may be the most infamous movie we've yet to review.    With Jason Statham battling a prehistoric mega shark in this week's release, The Meg, we head back to Amity Island and the Bahamas to check in on Ellen Brody and her PTSD.    That's right: We watched Jaws: The Revenge this week for They Called This a Movie. Listen as we discuss Lorraine Gary reprising her role, Michael Cain...

This week on They Called This a Movie, we decided to do things a little different.    As this week's movie releases don't really lend themselves to any particular movies that we felt were worth watching, it's not every day that visionary filmmaker, Neil Breen, comes out with a trailer for his upcoming movie. So, rather than write an article for a movie just because we had to, we did a quick little...

Get ready for some in-your-face 90s action as They Called This a Movie returns! This week, The Rock "Dwayne" Johnson gets his Die Hard on as his new film, Skyscraper, hits theaters. So what movie did we decide to watch this week? The original Skyscraper, of course.  Listen as we commisserate on what is easily the worst movie we've watched so far. It's so bad that gratuitous nudity can't even save...

This week is a surprise episode!  Originally, this was going to be just an article that would be posted on the main website (TheMainDamie.com), but when I told Mark and Dan that the movie of the week, in time for the release of Ant-Man and the Wasp, was the infamous 1994 film adaptation of The Fantastic Four, they wanted in on the action.  So join us as we talk about the Thing's costume, the great...

Episode 1: The Land That Time Forgot (2009)  For the first film of the relaunch of They Called This a Movie, we take a look at The Asylum's 2009 film The Land That Time Forgot, directed by and starring C Thomas Howell. The guys discuss the terrible plans that the survivors come up with, the presence of actual Nazis, and more.  After the film discussion, Anthony tests Dan and Mark on their knowledg...