Therapy Brothers

The Brothers Discuss: The subtle ways that we are dishonest and why we are dishonest. They focus on relationships and communication. Is this an honest statement? "As long as I'm honest about my relapse...I'm an honest person." That might be further from the truth in ways that will surprise you. The Therapy Brothers break it down. // SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN // We'd love to answer questions you...

Brannon: Discusses what an interdependent sexual relationship looks like along with what a healthy amount of attachment relationship is. Brannon explains the differences between a codependent, independent, and interdependent relationships. Codependency is on the far end of the spectrum where we rely on our partner for our okayness, whereas independence is where we are removed from our partner. //...

Tyler Responds To A Question: I'm a 50 year old man, I am successful in my career. I have a family, grown kids. On the outside, I look successful, but on the inside I feel like a teenage boy. There's certain parts about that that I don't like. I sometimes show up immature in my relationship with my wife. I sometimes show up immature in my other relationships. I sometimes show up in a one-down posi...

Caller Ben's Question: Being connected to people has been one of the biggest things to help me in my recovery. I have a lot of good friendships and relationships that I haven't been able to stay connected with. I don't want to lose some of my new found friendships and I want to continue making new ones. How do I go about doing that? // SUBMIT A QUESTION + CALL IN // We'd love to answer questions y...

Caller Phillip: has been married for 21 years, has 2 kids, and has had sexual and lust addictions since he was about 13. Phillip had a sexual experience early on at about 12 and was a victim of some intense bullying. Phillip got into the party and homosexual scene during college and got tired of that life and decided to move away. He began to realize there was an underlying addiction and got invol...

Caller Brandon: got married and about a year after Brandon fell back into his addiction. The addiction took control and his husband found out about Brandon's addiction. They were separated a couple of times and have divorce papers filled out. Brandon has seen a therapist that wasn't necessarily the best fit. Brandon has been attending a group and therapy and has started his journey into recovery....

The Brothers Discuss: why the father-daughter relationship is so important and how much any daughter needs their father in their life. Tyler brings up a book that he read called strong fathers, strong daughters by Meg Meeker. Some things that are important for the brother when raising daughters is they want them to know that no matter what, they have someone who loves them even when their father m...

The Brothers Discuss: A common struggle some men have is a form of being so nice for the reason of trying to obtain validity by pleasing everyone. The brothers talk about how some men go from one end of the nice spectrum all the way to the opposite side of the mean spectrum. Self-care becomes an important part of recovery and must not be done at the expense of being the "nice guy." Finding a healt...

The Brothers Discuss: why the perspectives we have may differ and how two different people can have a different experience with the same scenario or person. They dive into the question of if one person thinks it's black and the other white, then what is true? If you are able to choose your perspective, then you get to choose how to respond to situations in life. Being able to choose our perspectiv...

Caller Alex: recently got out of a 3 year relationship and throughout the relationship his sex addict manifested itself in many ways. At one point in the relationship he felt like disclosing his addiction. His partner knew about a men's group he attended, but did not know what the group was specifically for. Alex is wondering why was it so hard to disclose his addiction to a potential partner in t...

The Brothers discuss: The types of family systems that we grow up in and how that can affect you throughout your life. The brothers introduce the family circumplex model and speak about how pivotal the family system you grow up in is when it comes to how you view the world. Understanding these things allows you to know yourself better and make changes if needed. Gaining this understanding can even...

Caller Jackie: has a husband of nine months that has struggled with pornography for 20 years. She knew about his addiction before they got married, but was under the impression he had it under control and was working recovery. Her husband had a handful of relapses that he told her about during their marriage, but she thought this was the only problem. 7 months into their marriage, she found pornog...

Caller Tyler: is 21 years old, single, christian, and has been able to find sobriety for 2 years. He has been struggling with intrusive thoughts that he wants to get a better handle on. Tyler realized about 2 years ago that his pornography use was ruining the life that he wanted and joined a recovery group online that helped him to stop looking at pornography. The brothers dive into Tyler's past a...

Caller Adam: has been on the podcast before, and has attended the rising son retreat. Adam has learned how important his connection to God is and how God shows his love through others. He and his wife have been separated a couple times and is heading towards a divorce. On top of that, his father had recently passed away. He is wrestling with re-discovering himself and dealing with shame. The broth...

Caller Jeneal: met her husband in college and got married. She recently discovered her husbands pornography addiction as he came home from a trip form California. A few years after this, Jeneal started noticing odd behavior from her husband. This led to some suspicions of an affair, which eventually came out when their daughter found the conversations between her dad and a coworker. Jeneal and the...

The Brothers Discuss: the role the betrayed partner plays in the relationship. They talk about how a natural response of the betrayed partner is to get very involved in their partners recovery. Something that may be hard to hear is that it could be helpful to take a step back and not play such an involved role that may be to an unhealthy level. This principle can be difficult because of feelings o...

Caller Daniel: is 30 years old and has been married for about 7 years with 2 small children. He is a currently practicing marriage and family therapist. His addiction story starts with his family of origin. He had a blessed upbringing that gave him a lot of tools and knowledge that has helped him immensely. Daniel speaks about his family situation, specifically where he fell amongst his siblings a...

Caller Ariel: has been married for 15 years and had her husband come to her 3 years ago and opened up to having a pornography addiction. Ariel tried, from the very beginning, to be gracious and compassionate towards her husband. About 6 months after his disclosure, the betrayal trauma started to settle in for Ariel. Having her own sexual trauma, her husbands pornography addiction tied itself to he...

Brannon Discusses: topics people have a difficult time with, and topics Brannon gets feedback on that they do not agree with. Brannon dives into the principles behind the things that he says. He talks about why a therapist should sometimes "fire" their client. Brannon explains the most important thing is how much he wants to help his clients. He tries to help clients see their reality by being hon...

The Brothers Discuss: ways to manage triggers and relapse. The brothers focus on giving you tangible tools to manage those triggers and relapses. There is a space between stimulus and response where you have power to choose. The skill of urge surfing is about learning to trust ourselves to manage difficult or painful emotions or a trigger. One must lean into the emotion or trigger with curiosity a...

The Brothers Discuss: a question sent in by someone wondering what to do when they feel spiritual guilt while holding boundaries and moving towards divorce? The brothers dive into how to have a balance between your values and your commitments. Oftentimes, one of the most righteous things a person can do is to divorce in some circumstances. There is a dynamic among people with an addiction and thei...

Caller Shaun and Emily: have been together for about 5 years. One year into the marriage Emily felt something was a little off in their relationship. Emily did extensive research to learn all she could about sex addiction and betrayal trauma. Emily went through a phase of trying to control the addiction and realized that that was not working for either of them. Shaun is committed to growth and to...

Caller Clark: has been in sobriety/recovery for about 19 months. Clark experiences many struggles including ADHD, and has been diagnosed to be on the autism spectrum. Clark feels the weight of what he goes through on top of his recovery work. While moving through several recovery groups, he has felt rejected and out of place despite trying to connect. The brothers talk about why it is so difficult...

Caller William: has a long history with sex addiction, all starting with emotional and sexual abuse. He has been married for almost 29 years, in recovery for 16. A little over a year ago he finally did full therapeutic disclosure with his wife, and a lot of work since then. The brothers talk about the fears of honesty and the why behind lies. They dive into the fact that the issue isn't about hone...

The Brothers Discuss: In a recent episode of Real Talk Recovery, we discussed the transformative power of a change of heart in the recovery journey. We shared our personal experiences and emphasized the importance of letting go of control and embracing faith to find freedom and peace. We learned that surrendering to a higher power and trusting in the process can lead to profound growth and self-di...