The Wednesday Audio

You don’t even read this do you? You barely listen to the podcast, so there’s no chance you’re going to read these words. Imagine that. Somebody reading . That’s truly revolutionary int it. That’s not what happens around these parts. Sure, you’ll scan over some of these sentences. You might even laugh a little bit at some of em. Well, you might chuckle a bit. Or just do that shoulder shrug thing w...

This one’s for Vanya . Get full access to The Wednesday Audio at yeahwednesdays.substack.com/subscribe

The Podcast Ombudsman has informed that I must make this introduction to the following podcast episode factually correct. So, here it is. This is a podcast episode. The podcast is called The Wednesday Audio. The episode is titled Podcast Conversations. Enjoy? Get full access to The Wednesday Audio at yeahwednesdays.substack.com/subscribe

In last week’s episode of Craig Burgess’ episodic satirical improvisational lacksidasical maniacal overly describable but also indescrible podcast podcast—The Wednesday Audio—we have been informed of a mistake. It’s our job as podcast ombudsman to point out this mistake, and offer a correction. And to hear the correction, you must listen to the podcast. And now, The Wednesday Audio. Hello, welcome...

In this week’s episode… Actually, why do people always start podcast descriptions with ‘in this week’s episode’? We all know it’ll be in this week’s episode. Nobody looks at a podcast description for this week’s episode and says to themselves: “Oh. That must be next week’s description” That’d be madness. Although…it’s given me an idea. Hello, welcome. PS. Apologies to everyone who left a messge la...

It’s like, erm, you know when you once saw that thing, and it turned out to be that different thing, but you thought it was blue and it was yellow, and sometimes it’s long but it can be short as well, but Lee from around the corner saw you with it, he had it on his t-shirt, you know, that thing, tasted nice but looked horrible. Yeah, it’s like that. Delightfully indescribable. Or maybe delightfull...

I won’t mention it too many times, but you can now choose to pay for this podcast. The Wednesday Audio is a listener-supported podcast. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. I don’t know why you’d want to pay for it, honestly I don’t. But all that matters is that you now have the option . I’ve given you a choice, and we all like choices, don’t we? T...

In a Wednesday Audio first, I decided to make a Political Special. However, in a Wednesday Audio Standard, I quickly got bored of doing such a thing (I don’t know anything about politics), lost track, lost momentum, forgot to write down a bit for The Actual C*ntent, and just used “Has He Gone Yet?!” as a repetitive but ultimately slightly amusing joke for the remainder of the episode. You know how...

Each month The Soaring Twenties Social Club write a symposium. It involves us all making something around a certain topic. This month’s topic was Nostalgia, and—I’ll be honest—I forgot. So I thought, well, what can I do in a pinch? What do I have to hand that I can turn into some writing pretty quickly? What tools do I have? I realised I didn’t have any tools, no writing tools at least. But I did...

Apparently to make a better podcast you need to make a faster podcast, you know, get it into peoples brains faster and get them thinking faster using that knowledge faster, you know, just working faster optimising themselves as human beings and self impr*vement, you know, nobody listens to podcasts at 1 ecks any more it’s all at 2 ecks I got told so Carlos told me to give it a bash and this is my...

This episode may get banned. I can’t say anything else, but it might be to do with copyright infringement. I skirted around the edges, danced on the dangerous precipice. But I may have tipped over. I may have jumped off. Listen to it whilst you still can. No, this is not an eng*gement t*ctic. Get full access to The Wednesday Audio at yeahwednesdays.substack.com/subscribe

Excerpt from the foreword of Tim’s upcoming book I first came across Craig in the Summer of 2001. He said to me, “Hello. Welcome”. At the time I thought his turn of phrase to be strange, along with much else about him. He seemed to always walk around with music playing, but not in an annoying way. He wasn’t playing ‘rap’, or whatever the kids call it these days. He seemed to be attempting to sound...

This episode actually had me crying with laughter as I recorded it. You can hear moments in the audio where you can hear me laughing, but I’ve had to edit out the amount of laughter I did so you didn’t think I’ve gone completely crazy. Of course, now I’ve told you that this episode was so funny that I laughed as I recorded it , you won’t find it funny at all. Get full access to The Wednesday Audio...

Four episodes ago I intended to do something, but I didn’t do it. The reason I didn’t do it was out of my control, at least it was taken out of my control. It’s nagged at me ever since that episode, the fact that I’d not managed to do it. I still wanted to do it, but I’d lost my confidence. Lost my pep and verve. Reminders of failure loomed everywhere I turned. I put it to bed, decided not to do i...

I’m contractually obliged to inform you that this week I have not delivered on my promise of The Wednesday Audio. This is only the second time in one year where this has happened, and I insincerely apologise for any inconvience caused. Normal service will resume next week, but in the meantime I have attempted to make amends and plan our future listening experiences by providing you a peace offerin...

HOW CAN I MAKE YOU PAY ATTENTION? DO I JUST HAVE TO ASK YOU QUESTIONS? POSE RHETORICAL QUESTIONS? POSE REAL QUESTIONS? DO I? DOES THIS WORK? IS THIS THE FIFTY SECONDST EPISODE OF THE WEDNESDAY AUDIO? WILL YOU LISTEN? DID YOU LISTEN? DID YOU ENJOY IT? IS THIS ANNOYING YOU AS MUCH AS IT’S ANNOYING ME? HOW ARE YOU TO KNOW? WILL THIS END? CAN THIS END? COULD IT END? WILL IT GO ON FOREVER? CAN YOU BELI...

So about 50 episodes ago I started a new project. I decided to make a podcast about Wednesdays because my mate Tom said it might be quite fun to make a podcast about Wednesdays. I quickly realised that there wasn’t much material available out there for Wednesdays, so I had to start making note of this fact in my podcast about Wednesdays that there was now no content left about Wednesdays. At some...

No, for real. This is not a joke. I will make amends tomorrow in The Thursday Audio. Get full access to The Wednesday Audio at yeahwednesdays.substack.com/subscribe

So a guy walks up to me and asks me a question. “Am I in a podcast intro?” At the time he wasn’t, but I thought I’d go along with it anyway. It felt right to go along with it. “Yeah. You are actually.” “Oh. I’ve never been in one of those before. Last week I was in a podcast, but I’ve never been in an intro.” I nodded to him. “So what’s this podcast called?” “Well, it’s more of an audio really.” “...

She didn’t believe me. Every Wednesday I scurry away to my recording room and record a new masterpiece. Every Wednesday I name that masterpiece The Wednesday Audio and present it to my adoring fan. She didn’t believe me. She asked me what it was about. I said the podcast wasn’t really about anything at all, it’s just me answering people’s messages and some silly features about James Clear and bann...

I’ll save you the need to listen to this episode by just giving you the best bit here: Get full access to The Wednesday Audio at yeahwednesdays.substack.com/subscribe

46 episodes of this. 46 Wednesdays wasted. 46 Wednesdays of me saying YES. 46 Wednesdays of slagging off James Clear. 46 Wednesdays of banned words. 46 Wednesdays of satire . 45.5 Wednesdays of average satire . 46 times you said you wouldn’t keep listening because it’s weird, but 46 times you keep coming back because you can’t stay away. Yes. Get full access to The Wednesday Audio at yeahwednesday...

Around episode 15 of The Wednesday Audio things began to take a dark turn. I became sick of the content , sick of the Tesco Value Popcorn , and I began to revolt. What started as a genuine, heartfelt podcast turned into something that mercilessly rips into James Clear and the silliness of online hustle culture. I wouldn’t change it for a second. But what would it have been like if I hadn’t slowly...

In the 44 episodes of madness that have whilst creating this spectacle, it would be fair to say I haven’t learned much. It would be fairer to say that that is by design— this podcast after all is satire int it . But if I was forced to admit something and be bold and say one thing that I have learned, it’s that confidence trumps all. Confidence to pretend that you know what’s going to happen next....

Content warning: this piece is positive. The positivity will continue until the podcast is done. Get full access to The Wednesday Audio at yeahwednesdays.substack.com/subscribe