The Wednesday Audio

Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. This, my esteemed listener, is a new episode of The Wednesday Audio. Problem is, I have no features. I have no c*ntent. I have no listener missives. So what am I going to fill it with? That’s right. Absolutely nothing. 35.5 minutes of absolutely SOD ALL.

This entire episode is all brand new and full of brand new features and no they’re not all just renamed features, they’re actually brand new or at least one of them is brand new. Thank you

I think today’s special for some reason. Something to do with love, or something?

I was so out of practice with this episode I actually forgot that this was episode 115, and kept referring to it as 114. But…at least there’s a new episode…right?

Yes. It's exactly the same.

My new favourite word this week (brought to by Trilety), is onanism. I shamelessly (I have no shame, have you not noticed) used it throughout this episode. It turned out alright. Leave me a missive or a Donkey List on my Substack, and I'll probably read it out next week. https://yeahwednesdays.substack.com

I was meant to record this episode on the 19th October, and then…I didn’t. Enjoy this very delayed episode if you’re capable of such activities.

I had a complaint from a listener last week that I’ve had to take seriously. If there is one commitment I like to make on this podcast, it’s that the correct length is received on each episode. The current runtime of an average episode should be between 34-36 minutes, and last week saw me fall short. This was poor standards on my part, of which I can only apologise. I’ve made up for it this week....

After a month-long hiatus, Trilety challenged me to make the most interesting episode of The Wednesday Audio. She challenged me to attempt to make the funniest, most eng*ging, most intellectually challenging episode possible. I think I achieved it.

Unfortunately I need to apologise twice today. Here’s the first apology from Podcast Ombudsman No. 3: Dear valued listeners, We would like to take a moment to address an unfortunate error that occurred in our last episode. We inadvertently omitted Toby's tips from the show, and we understand that this may have caused disappointment or frustration for some of our audience. We sincerely apologize fo...

I hate it when YouTube videos do that thing. You know, that thing . “Hi guys, I’m sorry I’ve been absent for a while, but I’m back with a new video now about the moon landings or whatever” Be absent with pride. Be away with pride. Don’t apologise for it. And if you really want to apologise for it…insincerely apologise. So on that vein, I’ve been away for a while for no particular reason other than...

Perhaps you thought it’d gone away. Perhaps you were thankful that you’d finally been removed of the burden of listening. Perhaps—on some deep and meaningful level—you were missing the pudcast. Perhaps it was all of the above. Perhaps it wasn’t any of them at all. Perhaps. Get full access to The Wednesday Audio at yeahwednesdays.substack.com/subscribe

You know how Netflix do that really annoying thing where they span a 45-minute story out into a six-part documentary series? Where there’s just absolutely no substance to the story, but they somehow manage to keep it dragging its heels, kicking and screaming, scraping its fingernails along the floor, begging it to stop, for six whole parts? Don’t you just find it really annoying? Don’t you just th...

All I’m going to leave in the description this week is this sound effect from the episode: Get full access to The Wednesday Audio at yeahwednesdays.substack.com/subscribe

This is a comical summary of episode 100 of a podcast called "It All Changes At 100" written by AI. This episode of "It All Changes At 100" is about a podcast that has reached its 100th episode. The hosts discuss various topics, including the importance of understanding user needs and the use of donkey lists. They also interview a guest named Felix Futzbucker and look at Naval's Twitter account. T...

Introducing the 99st Episode Booster ! Lots of people ask me (at least one): ‘Craig, how do you remain consist*ntly s**t, week in and week out?’. Then I respond: ‘Actually, the answer is a surprising development’. Introducing the 99st Episode Booster ! A brand new and revolutionary product from the makers of F*ck Me I’m Funny: are you struggling to reach your 99st episode? Are you perilously close...

Do you struggle with ending your podcasts? Do you find yourself stumbling over your words, unsure of how to wrap things up without it feeling awkward? Introducing the new product that will change the way you end your podcasts: the "Smooth Finish" device! With the "Smooth Finish" device, you can end your podcast seamlessly and effortlessly. The device uses advanced algorithms to analyze your speech...

The game titled "10 To The Top To The Bottom Of The 20," is a fun and lighthearted segment that adds humor to the podcast. The game comprises five questions with four answer choices each, all related to a cardboard box stuffed with out-of-date meat. The answer choices range from humorous to absurd, making it an enjoyable segment for the audience. The podcast also features listener feedback, with s...

This podcast episode, released on a Wednesday, has no particular theme, but rather covers various topics ranging from show news to listener messages, a trivia game called "10 To The Top To The Bottom Of The 20," and even a segment on "Naval Gazing." The episode also includes a review of an award-winning pork pie paired with the podcast, and a humorous discussion on what to do with boxes of out-of-...

The following content is not related to the previous document. However, it is important to note that breaking the fourth wall is a storytelling technique that has been used in various forms of media, including literature, theatre, and film. This technique involves a character acknowledging the audience or the fact that they are in a work of fiction, which can be an effective way to engage the audi...

Disclaimer: consuming podcasts that are past its expiration date can be dangerous as it may contain harmful bacteria that can lead to brain illness. Consumption of expired podcasts can result in symptoms such as vomiting, diarrhea, stomach cramps, and in severe cases, death. This podcast and its affiliates do not endorse or condone the consumption of expired podcasts, especially and including pott...

In a desperate attempt to revitalise The Wednesday Audio and to combat the dwindling downloads, I spent this week thinking of a new concept for the show. I consulted my old friend Carlos to see what he said. He told me: Craig, all you need to do is make clippable content. Instead of making long form content, sack that off, and just make short form content. Your audience won’t notice the difference...

I thought as a special treat for not listening to my podcast, I’d record you an episode of my podcast. It’s different from the normal ones in so much as I haven’t planned a second of it, but it sounds entirely the same as the other 91 episodes. I hope you don’t enjoy it as much as I didn’t enjoy recording it. Get full access to The Wednesday Audio at yeahwednesdays.substack.com/subscribe

Are you feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of podcasts out there? Do you find yourself constantly falling down the rabbit hole of endless recommendations, leaving you with little time for anything else? If so, then our podcast is here to help. Introducing "The Wednesday Audio," the podcast that attempts to stop you from listening to podcasts. In each episode, we make it our sole mission to ma...

I asked Artificial Intellgience to write my intro, because I’m lazy and couldn’t be borthered. Just like that: I couldn’t even be bothered to spell botherhed correctly. I spelt it wrong twice, and I don’t even respect you enough to correct it. Welcome to the Wednesday Audio, the podcast that brings you the latest news, insights, and laughs from Barnsley and beyond. In this week's episode, we'll be...