The Ward

Ever have one of those days? Weeks? Year and a Halfs? Fret not, for Eight has finally smuggled out a bit of audio for your precious virgin ear-holes!  This is a quick update. And probably safe for work. Depending on your line of work. You know what? Why risk it. Probably best to play all of our episodes over the loudspeakers at your place of business. Customers can't get enough of Dessicated Mouse...

Bush tentacles, potato chip security advice, and petting pretty grass! Eight continues on his perilous jog through the cold wilderness while explaining recent happenings and the consequences of having sexy hips. (Podcast may or may not involve gerbils.) Send comments, feedback, or carrot-related recipes to: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.com

Eight returns! From his Surprise Extended-Stay All-Expenses-Paid Involuntary Vacation! Will you join him for a bit of fresh air? Pretty rocks, suspicious birds, hungry beasts, and psych meds... a typical American outing. (At the time of this recording, he has not been eaten by wolves. But he is still looking for that elusive group.) Editors Note : Eight better be very grateful for the long-sufferi...

Eight explores magic, holy books, broccoli sobriety, and the only Irish word he knows. A must listen for any cat person who is off their meds! Send adoration to: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.com

Storytime with Eight! A slice of October fashion tips, mostly Satan-free. (Any likeness to actual events and insane cultist dogma is possibly but not necessarily coincidental and does not necessarily reflect the actual views of your next door neighbor who has been staring at you through your window when you aren't looking.) Tasty rocks, hatemail, and adoration can be sent to: Feedback@TheWardPodca...

Eight almost get's killed by clothes, The CIA periodically scrambles the audio (Terribly sorry about that... We'll be increasing the tinfoil budget), and Squirrels. So. Many. Squirrels. So everybody close your eyes! We're gunna leave Jesus a voicemail... Also, hold your chakra angel blessing lightwork healing reiki Orgonite close and strap yourself in for a listener feedback rant! If you want to b...

Eight comments on his first comment! Which was promptly deleted by the bean people, but in the immortal words of Jean Luc Picard: "It's too late. I saw everything!" Speaking of beans, so many are spilled. Mind the mess. This podcast was recorded with the help of "Technology." It almost wasn't recorded at all because of Eight's "Brain." But thanks to "Technology" you are now able to enjoy the happi...

"We're here to watch people sleep, not judge their cookbooks..." Have you ever wondered about rocks? Well we have you covered! From rocks, to Japanese tea, to cat crispies; Eight makes sure you get a well-rounded education. Write in to: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.com  

Don't fall prey to the knotty liches, They'll steal your rocks and confuse your stitches! Eight deals with the worst tutorial known to man, so protect your orifices! (Except your ears, of course.) "String is the thing in which to catch the conscience of the King!" -Shakespeare (probably) Also, So sorry TogaGirl. You may have to wait for the Russian crime lords to overtake the undead before I can m...

Happy New Year! Do you think you deserve 2021? Do you?! DO YOU?!?! Well, I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. Eight is in no way an arsonist. No squirrels were harmed in the making of this video. Please direct all rodent-related inquiries to: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.com Non-rodent-related inquiries can be sent by mail to: Justin Trudeau

Join Eight for a fireside story this Halloween! Lavish praise upon us at: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.com  

Eight endures the incompetence of mortals, explosive Dr. Pepper, and ponders the procreative chances of Mr. Bajingajad. If you are not currently wielding a chainsaw, you can contact us at: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.com  

Eight talks about the joys (or unjoys) of microwave popcorn, meditation with a certain rock star, and has another heart to heart with a righteous walking buddy. If you are in desperate need of Taco Bell but don't know the natural signs to find one, this episode is for you! Send all occult knowledge or Ikea instructions to: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.com

Eight talks about how not to introduce cops to your crispy friends, struggles to wake up, and addresses cabbage-induced meditation practice. Relax to a special guided meditation by Eight at the end of the episode! Join the movement to get the police to replace Eight's Crunchwrap Supreme and Contact us at: feedback@thewardpodcast.com  

Eight explores the urban jungle while learning about bridge art, mounty slander, and stupid dog faces. (May contain sandwich related content. Pickle discretion is advised.) Sandwich Emergency Hotline: Feedback@thewardpodcast.com  

Have you been feeling stimulated lately? Eight gives you a quickie as he waits in line for the patron saint of customer service and makes sweet music just for you! (Eight is not a professional musician. This music does not constitute musical advice.) Enrage a sloth with poorly written limericks: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.com

What is this? Christmas in July?! In this episode a listener wins a prize! Learn the secrets of bean inception, and help Eight plan his funeral. Reserve your front row funeral seats by writing in at: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.com It'll be a shark party nobody will forget! (Exact date yet to be determined.)

Eight attempts a podcast before his meds kick in, Talks about prepper channels on youtube, and shares heartwarming stories about Bible School. Unfortunately the meds kicked in before the intricacies of Mounty hopscotch could be discussed, but never fear! There is always next time. Contact the CIA: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.com Checkout The Canadian Prepper's Youtube Channel (and search for the Ameri...

Are you ready to be fancy? I'm ready to be fancy. Eight experiences the Deli counter in a local supermarket, teaches you how to taste water like a pro, and still hasn't gotten any sleep. Contact us: Feedback@theWardPodcast.com

A simple web search sends Eight off on a rant involving a podcast with a similar name. Are there even bears in the UK? Bots, propaganda, lies, and inappropriate (or very appropriate) responses to seeing swimming pools. (Do you even eat broccoli, bro?) Contact: feedback@theWardPodcast.com

I'll give you a hint, it isn't yoga... Updates in the war against squirrels, togas, and other needful information. Contact: feedback@theWardPodcast.com

Guess where you can put this podcast? The great doctor 穴 明光 can help you find out! Has Eight gotten any sleep? Has the 1000 year war with the squirrels finally ended? Become enlightened from the bottom up by listening to this podcast! Contact: Feedback@theWardPodcast.com

Clocks and squirrels are the devil's playthings. When will Eight get some sleep? Contact us: Feedback@theWardPodcast.com  

Did you ever wish your podcast spent almost an hour talking about shampoo? Well, do I have a treat for you! Drop Eight a line at: Feedback@thewardpodcast.com (Seriously though, Trevor... You should be ashamed of yourself.)

Holidays, shrubbery, and festive arson. Thank your chair for it's brave service! (This episode does not constitute financial advice! Also not from concentrate.) Contact Us: Feedback@thewardpodcast.com "It's Your Podcast! Use it when YOU need it!"