The UNcivilized Podcast with Traver Boehm

Last week I talked about getting your vision board to become your reality and closing the gap between the life you want to be living and the life you are living. AND — many of you reached out and asked for techniques that you can use if you don’t have a community around you and you can’t afford to hire a coach or a consultant. I get it. In this short solo episode I share my two favorite techniques...

In my experience of over twenty years of coaching humans, most of you will get stuck in one place — needing permission. Whether that’s to write your book, start your business, or even just be the healthiest one in your family, permission is a big wall for many people to climb. And — it may not be the only wall.  In this short, potent solo episode I break down the three reasons why most people don’...

Chris Haueter is one of the dirty dozen — the first 12 non Brazilian, Brazilian Jiujitsu Black Belts. He’s also a philosopher poet, an incredible historian, and a teacher. He’s also my old instructor and my old corner man. In this episode we get to catch up after nearly two decades and Chris shares his thoughts on a number of topics including how he built a life around teaching the art he loves. E...

After coaching humans for over 20 years through the good times and the challenges of their lives, I know people and what helps us get past our blocks, our heartbreaks, and our limiting beliefs. In this solo episode I’ll break down the six attributes I feel you need to either get through a hard time, or engage in a challenging endeavor like building a business, learning to surf, or creating the UNc...

This week I have something special for you, I’ve recorded a live coaching session with one of the Kill The Nice Guy graduates.  This episode is for you if you’ve ever struggled with the idea that you need permission to live life on your terms, to build what you want to build, and to go for something big. On the call is a young man named JC who’s struggling to go against the conditioning he grew up...

I get asked this question all the time so let’s dive into it. There are amazing ways you can support your man as he begins therapy, men’s work, or any other path to higher consciousness and healing. I’ve worked with thousands of men over the years and know these three points are crucial to being there for your man, without letting it take over your own life. Enjoy. Please do share this with one pe...

This week I again have something special for you, a recorded live coaching session with one of the Kill The Nice Guy graduates.  This episode is for you if you’ve ever struggled with anger and don’t see the connection between having loose or porous boundaries — and the resentment and anger that naturally builds up. On the call is a man named Kevin who gives and gives and gives and also has a lot o...

At the root of most addictive behavior is a deep dissatisfaction with one or many areas of a man’s life. I know because it wasn’t long ago that I needed to escape from my life multiple times a day with alcohol, marijuana, porn, exercise and work. Just to name a few. In this episode I share with you the ROOT of this challenge and give you a frame for your life as a man. One that will create the typ...

This past month I’ve been on the phone with far too many men who are stuck in bad relationships — and refuse to leave them.  Why? Because they’ve made it some sort of badge of honor to stay and suffer rather than leave and start over. In this episode I break down how you can shift areas of your marriage or relationship, and then why it’s more than okay, no matter what society tells you, to seek yo...

In this fiery solo episode I break down The 4B Movement coming out of South Korea, The Passport Bro Movement here in the US, and the wildly needed UNcivilized Relationship Paradigm. This episode is going to upset a lot of folks because, well, I’m in support of both movements despite the massive implications they will have societally. And I see them both as canaries in the relationship coal mine in...

What a crazy month in the civilized world, huh? Who ever would have thought such juggernauts as Nickelodeon, P Diddy, AND Andrew Huberman would come to light for being toxic and horrible — at the same time. For us at UNcivilized, this is a sign that the civilized veil is falling, truth is emerging, and as men — it’s time for us to deal with what’s in our own shadowy closets. In this solo episode I...

I’ve often talked about and taught the notion of Attachment vs Authenticity when it comes to Nice Guy work. And the idea of attachment is real — but it’s taken me a few years of working with it and hearing about it quite often for it truly to stick. Thus I’m now shifting to talking about Belonging vs Authenticity — especially with but not exclusive to Nice Guys. In this short solo episode I break...

An Instagram follower asked me the difference between aspects of Traditional Masculinity and our UNcivilized Masculinity and rather than write him back a novel, I decided to record this solo episode for you. In it, I jump right to the point and outline what’s great about Traditional Masculinity and — what needed to be upgraded about it. Thus the creation of UNcivilized Masculinity. I outline what...

Francis Weller has been an inspiration for me for years now. The way he speaks and shares his work around initiation and living a soulful life hits me in my core. It stops my frantic mind and makes me feel like the world is going to be okay…even if it may not be. In this episode I get to sit down with Francis and have a frank conversation about men, about getting in touch with our deeper parts, an...

In this short and punchy solo episode, I answer another question from Instagram: “What were the most transformative parts of men’s work for you?” I dive into the top three for you so you can decide for yourself if these are pieces you want to try on yourself. Outgrowing substances like alcohol, weed, and porn Getting to be authentically me in men’s groups Having Michael Gay say, “Set the tone…” an...

Last week I was on a call with a man who asked me this profound question, “Where do I begin my men’s work journey? There are so many places I can start from?” In this episode I break down a great starting point for you if you’re about to embark on your men’s work journey, or where to return to if you’ve currently been on a break and aren’t sure where to pick back up. I also share a new frame for y...

In this short solo episode, I break down the two main blocks I see when people try to figure out their purpose. Knowing why you’re here and what you’re here to do is a BIG deal. And being stuck without knowing either can lead to a lot of undue suffering. This episode will help ease that suffering and give you a path forward when you’re in between major chapters of your life. Enjoy. Please do share...

I actually did walk through the woods to go to school, and sometimes it was freezing. I figured out pretty early on that there are a lot of guys who get things handed to them where I didn't. I also figured out I wasn't the smartest but I had the willingness and ability to outwork just about anybody. But we all had one thing in common. Failure to launch. We all hit "failure to launch&q...

After BDSM teacher Andy Buru came into The UNcivilized Nation and dropped this notion for all of us, I’ve been seeing how potent of an idea this is — balancing space holding and selfishness actually is. AND how confronting it is for so many people to lean into the one that’s not their natural way. In this short solo episode I break down why being able to do both will change your sex life, your inc...

This is an important episode and please stay to the end of it where we go into a depth we never planned on. Last week Duey quoted a book he’s reading about how men mostly fear the experience of being afraid. I put my knife and fork down and asked him to tell me more.  As he did, I knew we had to record this episode and share it with you all. It starts a bit slow but then we get into hard hitting c...

Making a brief return to interviewing, I get to sit down here with a man who has been a mortician since the age of 18. Wild huh? We talk a lot about grief, the power of full expression and how we can shift the societal tide that’s preventing so many people from feeling what’s only natural in their lives. Enjoy. Please do share this with one person in your life, or twenty.  Cheers, Traver ⁠ Take ou...

In this episode I tackle one of my favorite topics — being a Nice Guy (or Cool Girl). Since this is my background and our most popular course, I’m diving in and giving you three concrete ideas for you to apply right now to start to shift this paradigm in your life. You will NOT get what you want in life JUST making other people happy. The life you want will cost you the one you have. You’re so muc...

In this episode I sit down with Lama Justin von Bujdoss and talk about many things. Namely, his experience in a 49 day dark retreat, his time working in hospice, as well as his career as a prison chaplain. The man has seen and experienced beauty and loss on a grand scale. This is a fabulous interview where he talks about how we can all deal with the darker pieces of our lives and the potential cha...

One of the pains so many people experience is from looking back on their lives and thinking they wasted time with a particular chapter. I hear this in workshops and with my private clients.  “Gosh, if I hadn’t spent those 5 years studying agriculture and instead had 5 more years in my current profession of real estate development.” Or something like this. In this punchy solo episode I share about...

This episode is powerful. In it I get to sit down with the great Ralek Gracie. Born into Jiujitsu royalty Ralek has spent his life on the mat, in the ring, and in the cage. His life was about little else than jiujitsu and being a Gracie. Yet a business failure and the subsequent introspection took his life down a completely separate path, one of art, authenticity, and unapologetic expression. In t...