The Turtle Club

Listen. Were there lots of technical issues resulting in lost audio? Yes. Are there chunks of the conversation missing? For sure. Did we cut together 35 minutes of a cohesive conversation about Godzilla Vs Megalon? You could say that. Are we in the final few episodes of Alan recording from the backseat of his Honda in a shitty parking lot? Thankfully.  Did we make it up to you by adding audio of G...

Our brothers (and sister) in Christ (pronounced ch-rised) discuss the 1996 film Dunston Checks in, Elles mother being a liar, Alan being fat and Eli believing in the magic of spotlights. Also: the death of Owen Hart and Surf & Turf combos.  e-mail us at TheTurtleClub69@gmail.com to hear your questions, comments & hatred on the podcast!

Ever wonder what it would be like if cocaine made a movie? With a cash-grab AC/DC soundtrack? Trucks come to life? That would suck!!! email us at Theturtleclub69@gmail.com

Our hosts Did not watch Bloodfist 3 due to a shift in the timeline thanks to the devious Lee Wormy Oswald. They instead discuss the 1986 John Carpenter masterpiece, Oscar snub Big Trouble in Little China. Anyone in the mood for 5 Guys? Anyone see that movie Heretic?

Jeroid appears on "Today" with Bryant Gumbel, but must wear a silly shirt as the result of a misunderstanding with Kramoid's "low talker" girlfriend; Georgoid moves in with his parents.

With all that dead weight gone, our remaining hosts let loose on 1993s hit feature, Jurassic Park! They discuss the movie more than ever! Email theturtleclub69@gmail.com for suggestions, questions and donations (please).

Our hosts wrap up the final full year for the Turtle Club, we say goodbye to Migel and hello to our former president. Stay tuned for extended seasons and email theturtleclub69@gmail.com for answers to all questions with any and all timelines.

Four friends discuss the final movie of 2025, they discuss Ernest in Martyrs, when The Simpsons go bad and the timeline gets fixed. Alan was not aware you could hear him eating chocolates so clearly.

Mr. Bean falls asleep and no one enjoys it. Alan is the coolest. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

Hunting mice with Nathan Lane. Also Alan is totally here bro we swear Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

Austrian or American? YOU DECIDE. Migel won't give up his Migel eggs Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

What has Alan been up to? I hope we find out soon! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

Migel has very strong opinions on child murder. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

Migel likes an anime movie? What a twist! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

Migel is confronted by forces he cannot comprehend and chooses to react with anger instead of curiosity. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

Your hosts discuss SPORTS. Alan is still kidnapped too. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

Your hosts eat spicy wings while discussing the 2009 remake of Friday the 13th. Thank you to Melinda's Pepper Sauce challenge! Also Alan is still missing! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

Your hosts discuss the morality of having consensual relations with a clone of yourself Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

Elle picked another banger and Migel received some fan mail in the form of a friendly video. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

One of the hosts has an announcement! Will it be Migel? Eli? Alan? Elle? Who know who it could be! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

Dave successfully convinces Migel that Bigfoot is real. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

Your hosts watch bigfoot play basketball with an island boy. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

Let's get greasy! Hootie tootie disco cutie! Join Big Dave, Big Migel, Big Eli, and Big Alan in this sweaty discussion! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

Your hosts discuss obscure Italian horror films and avoid talking about the movie about melting homeless people. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

Your hosts discuss what Malcolm X would think of Slam Dunk Ernest (1995) Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod