Timewaster 9000 Productions
The Timewaster 9000
A comedy-focused Magic: the Gathering podcast. Tune in to hear Miller and Alex yell about cardboard squares, and everything else the world has to offer.
Where to listen?
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Episodes
Sleeper Cards 07.07.2026 1:06:45
The Timewaster 9000 Crew chats about cards we thought would be straight buns, but turned out to be pretty good. Tune in to hear us chat about being wrong since 2019, picking the wrong deck for a big tournament, and having bronchitis at the Regional Championship. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com/ Play our daily game! https://timewaster9000.com/stack/ Join our community Di...
Types of Guy 30.06.2026 1:18:35
The Timewaster 9000 Crew chats about the lovely (and not so lovely) types of people you'll encounter at your friendly neighborhood game store. Join us to chat about guys too stupid to tell if they're cheating, people who force their partners to play commander, and microwaving frogs. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com/ Join our community Discord! https://discord.gg/nFSdazDC...
Our Favorite Bannings 23.06.2026 1:22:50
The Timewaster 9000 Crew thanks our lucky stars that these cards have been banned. Join us as we talk about Wizard's design mistakes, a commander table for one, and messing with people's dice while they're going off. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com/ Join our community Discord! https://discord.gg/nFSdazDCMY If you'd like to be a monthly supporter with benefits, check out...
Heroes & Villains Part 2 17.06.2026 1:39:05
The Timewaster 9000 Crew revisits an old classic: separating things into a clean good versus evil binary. Join us to hear about why people hate affinity, dying on turn one, and who to root for when you're watching a random game of Magic. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com/ Join our community Discord! https://discord.gg/nFSdazDCMY If you'd like to be a monthly supporter wit...
Archetypes That Need Some Love 12.06.2026 1:18:24
The Timewaster 9000 Crew looks back at archetypes and creature types that feel like they've been lost to time, or just need a new wave of support to make real. Tune in to hear us chat about Stewart Griffin, getting baited by Modern Storm, and Miller inflicting horrible pranks on Alex. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com Join our community Discord! https://discord.gg/nFSdazD...
Atlanta Highlander 03.06.2026 1:26:32
The Timewaster 9000 Crew revisits a local favorite: Atlanta Highlander! Join us as we talk about favorite strategies, funny Dark Depths stories, and try (and fail) to do math. Atlanta Highlander rules & banlist here: https://www.tumblr.com/atlantahighlander Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com Join our community Discord! https://discord.gg/nFSdazDCMY If you'd like to be...
LAMP Control 26.05.2026 1:37:12
The Timewaster 9000 Crew ventures into the horrifying unknown. A world uncharted: building a Commander deck. Join us as we sit down to build around a community suggestion, and argue about whether or not Mishra's Bauble does anything, what commanders actually draw aggro, and whether or not a deck is a Portcullis deck. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com Join our community Di...
The Tappedout Deep Dive 19.05.2026 1:35:46
The Timewaster 9000 Crew goes BACK TO THE PAST...by visiting a regularly updated website. Join us as we explore old FNM decks that can't win a game, pauper brews older than some of your friends, and Miller changing his shirt. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com Join our community Discord! https://discord.gg/nFSdazDCMY If you'd like to be a monthly supporter with benefits, c...
Where Do We Put These 12.05.2026 1:18:00
The Timewaster 9000 crew is back again to talk about cards we just CANNOT find a home for. Tune in to hear us chat about fringe playables, unplayables, and a LOT about Pokemon VGC. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com Join our community Discord! https://discord.gg/nFSdazDCMY If you'd like to be a monthly supporter with benefits, check out our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com...
Old vs New 05.05.2026 1:54:42
The Timewaster 9000 crew is asking the age old question: is new thing bad? Join us as we talk about Old Frame Theory, cards that do too much, cards that don't do enough, and the hit PBS animated series Cyberchase. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com Join our community Discord! https://discord.gg/nFSdazDCMY If you'd like to be a monthly supporter with benefits, check out our...
The Secrets of Strixhaven Awards 29.04.2026 1:19:40
The Timewaster 9000 crew is going back to back to school. We've got some awards to give to our FAVORITE cards from Secrets of Strixhaven. Tune in to hear us chat about super seniors, cards that we're definitely falling for, and much more. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com Join our community Discord! https://discord.gg/nFSdazDCMY If you'd like to be a monthly supporter wit...
Getting Resourceful 21.04.2026 1:26:02
Are lands bad? Does mana screw and mana flood make Magic the worst game ever? Would it be really easy to have an orangutan as a pet? All these questions and more are answered by the Timewaster 9000 crew as we dive head first in the things we love and hate about the resource systems of every card game we've given a try. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com Join our community...
These Decks Sucked 14.04.2026 1:34:40
Miller and Alex have been playing Magic: the Gathering for years, and in that time they've played more than their fair share of horrible, unlovable decks. Join the Timewaster 9000 crew today to hear about playing at the worst game store ever, decks that can't win a game, and going to time in game one. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com Join our community Discord! https://d...
Cards We Thought Would Be Good 07.04.2026 1:27:34
Every preview season, new and exciting cards get printed into the world of Magic: the Gathering, and only a select few make it to the upper echelons of playability. Today, the Timewaster 9000 crew takes a look at all the times we got it wrong. Tune in to hear us talk about decks that could've been, decks that should've been, and decks that really shouldn't have been. Find all our social medias her...
Cards We Hate 01.04.2026 1:44:41
The Timewaster 9000 crew breaks their positivity streak and dedicates a whole episode to the cards we DESPISE. These unlovable pieces of cardboard grind our gears, and we want it to be known. Tune in to hear us talk about supposed "constructed staples", if mana is too good nowadays, and the secret commander deckbuilding trick that will save your life. Find all our social medias here: https://timew...
We Answer Your Questions 25.03.2026 1:52:52
We put out the call for YOUR questions, and now we're going to answer them! Join the Timewaster 9000 crew to find out the hidden meaning behind life's greatest mysteries, or at least hear our pretty bad Dusty Rhodes impression. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com Join our community Discord! https://discord.gg/nFSdazDCMY If you'd like to be a monthly supporter with benefits,...
We Love Cube 17.03.2026 1:38:31
It's true folks. We love cube and we don't care who knows. Join the Timewaster 9000 crew as we talk about the beauty of playing cube, curating a cube, drafting cube, and losing to absolutely miserable pieces of cardboard in cube. Tune in to hear us talk about all your permanents being face down, iconic cards of sets past, and what you should pack 1 pick 1 in Homelands. Cubes we mentioned: Miller's...
The Homelands Awards 10.03.2026 1:22:50
Come one, come all! It's the small set that Wizards wishes we'd forget about: HOMELANDS! The Timewaster 9000 Crew sits down to talk shop about a set that some claim might be the worst in the history of the game. Tune in to hear us chat about confusing rules, cards that suck that you can never beat, and the Mirror Universe. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com Join our commun...
The Turtle Set 04.03.2026 1:18:18
Miller and Alex are so excited about these new turtles! Join the Timewaster 9000 crew as we chat about turtles, tortoises, snapping turtles, box turtles... the whole nine yards! Or stick around to hear us talk about going overseas, kicking the crap out of your friends, and Maxwell Jacob Friedman. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com Join our community Discord! https://discor...
Scryfall Randoms 24.02.2026 1:21:23
The Timewaster 9000 crew is back to talk about...cards. Just cards. We're on the beautiful search engine Scryfall and slamming the random button, talking about anything and everything that comes up. Join in to hear us talk about how many lands to play if you're cheating, being braindead at big tournaments, and a weird little deckbox we found. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000...
The Commander Banlist 19.02.2026 2:21:24
The Timewaster 9000 crew takes on the arduous task of figuring out every single card on the EDH banlist, and seeing if we can make heads or tails of it. Tune in to hear us chat about wasting people's time, getting trapped in games by bad faith actors, and the man with the firm handshake. Find all our social medias here: https://timewaster9000.com Join our community Discord! https://discord.gg/nFSd...
Cards That Need Some Love 10.02.2026 1:24:54
Miller and Alex celebrate the upcoming Valentine's Day in their own special way, by showing love to cards that don't get it as much anymore. Tune in to see the gang talk about bad midrange decks, cards with too many words on them, and the horrible original printed text of Oubliette. Find all of our links here: https://timewaster9000.com Join our community discord! https://discord.com/invite/wBN7jV...
Our Fan Formats 10.02.2026 1:35:39
The gang is stuck in the computer, so why not look around the world wide web at our favorite home-made ways to play Magic? Miller and Alex go through several formats of their own design, talking about decklists and fun tournaments in the process. Tune in to hear about budget formats, rule warping formats, and one that really cares about what year you were born. Atlanta Highlander Decklist Database...
Ranking the Sets of 2025 29.01.2026 2:00:09
The crew is back to talk about everything that came out in 2025, and since we're disgusting little piggies who love to dig around in the mud, we're presenting it as a TIER LIST!! Join Miller and Alex as we talk about Magic sets that actually have real Magic cards in them, guys in high-vis vests, Uncle Iroh in Smite, and talk sincerely and honestly about what the worst Magic set of all time is. Fin...
Art Critics 21.01.2026 1:03:14
Join Miller and Alex for a delightful dive into the dizzying highs and horrifying lows of Magic: the Gathering art. The crew has become more sophisticated than ever, so tune in to hear our opinions on Phil Foglio, Rebecca Guay, and pictures of Iron Man. Find all of our social medias here: https://www.timewaster9000.com Watch the video version here: https://youtu.be/LbFLseMFbjA If you'd like to be...
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