The Terri Cole Show

Are you exhausted from trying to "fix" everyone and everything in your life? In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend, yoga mentor, and author Elena Brower to discuss why letting go is the ultimate act of self-love. We've been conditioned to think that love means fixing, controlling, or "managing" the people around us. But what if the most powerful thing you could do is simply hold space? I...

"Is she entitled? Or have you just been serving yourself up on a platter?" My therapist asked me that years ago, while I was mid-rant about a friend who kept asking me for favors. It stopped me cold, and it changed how I understood my own patterns. If you're the one who says "I got it" before anyone finishes asking, who anticipates everyone's needs, who lies awake wondering if you came off as self...

Are you feeling like an outsider in your own home? Does the pressure to be the "perfect" stepmom have you constantly over-functioning, resentful, and burnt out? In this episode, I'm joined by Jamie Scrimger, the founder of the "Kick-Ass Stepmom" community. We dive deep into the messy, complicated, and often painful reality of navigating blended family dynamics. We aren't just talking about tips—we...

Last week, we talked about what emotional insecurity looks like, the patterns that tell you safety is missing in a relationship. This week is about what comes next: what actually creates emotional safety. Emotionally safe relationships do not just happen by accident.  They are built through small, consistent behaviors over time. Trust, respect, honesty, and repair are skills, not lucky outcomes. ...

Have you ever achieved your biggest goals only to end up feeling completely exhausted, lonely, and burnt out?  In this episode, I'm sitting down with my soul-sister and nervous system regulation expert, Koya Webb, to unpack the hidden trap of high-functioning codependency and people-pleasing. Koya opens up about her raw "dark night of the soul" moment—crying in a bathtub after hosting a massively...

Last week, we talked about what emotional insecurity looks like, the patterns that tell you safety is missing in a relationship. This week is about what comes next: what actually creates emotional safety. Emotionally safe relationships do not just happen by accident. They are built through small, consistent behaviors over time. Trust, respect, honesty, and repair are skills, not lucky outcomes. He...

If you've been carrying anger, disappointment, guilt, or emotional baggage, this episode offers a powerful new perspective on healing, peace, and personal growth. In this conversation with Danielle LaPorte, we explore why emotional healing starts with compassion instead of control. We talk about resentment, rejection, gratitude, forgiveness, emotional resilience, and the surprising connection betw...

I am obsessed with emotional intelligence. It is something I have always done naturally without knowing what it was called. Emotional intelligence, or EQ, measures your capacity to understand, perceive, and manage emotions, your own and other people's.  While IQ measures cognitive and logical ability, EQ measures your capacity for interpersonal success. Higher emotional intelligence is linked to b...

Stop falling into the anxious-avoidant attachment trap. In this episode, learn how to build a healthy relationship and experience corrective love. Today, I'm sitting down for a deeply personal, raw, and honest conversation with my longtime friend John Kim (aka The Angry Therapist) to discuss his brand new book, Love Hard on Purpose: Toss the Blueprints, Build Something Honest. We are stripping awa...

A lot of what gets called "setting a boundary" out on the internet and in real life isn't a boundary at all.  Boundaries are not punishment.  They are not a lever for controlling other people.  They are not what you do when someone makes you mad.  I wrote a whole book about this called Boundary Boss, and the definition is simple. Your boundaries are your preferences, your desires, your limits, and...

In this episode, I sit down with bestselling author Jane Green to talk about her rewilding memoir and her powerful journey of midlife reinvention. We explore what happens when a woman reclaims her identity after success, marriage, and emotional breakdown — and what it really means to rebuild a life rooted in authenticity, boundaries, and self-worth. We also dive into themes like the empty nester i...

"It's fine." "I got it." "Don't worry about me." "I'll figure it out." If you say one of these without thinking, several times a day, this episode is for you. These are the phrases that keep us stuck in high-functioning codependent behavior, and they sound generous. But there is an invisibility to what we are doing, and a cost. These automatic behaviors are a nervous system response, habituated ov...

Ever felt ignored, dismissed, or completely rushed by your doctor? In this episode, OB-GYN physician assistant and medical advocate Nikki Sapiro Vincier exposes the systemic flaws inside reproductive healthcare—and shares exactly how you can take control of your medical care today. I sat down with Nikki to unpack the disturbing reality of medical gaslighting, why it takes an average of 7 to 10 yea...

Do you know what you need? Not what your kids need, or what your partner needs, or what your team at work needs. What you need. In my therapy practice, when I ask high-functioning women what they need for the coming week, many of them either freeze or hand me a list of responsibilities. Things they have to get done. These things are not the same thing. Read the show notes for today's episode at te...

Have you ever found yourself paralyzed by a major life decision, desperately wishing you just had the right answer? In this episode of the show, I sit down with author and journalist Simone Stolzoff to dive into a topic we all struggle with: our deep aversion to the unknown. Simone shares the inspiration behind his latest book, How to Not Know: The Value of Uncertainty in a World That Demands Answ...

For the past six months, people have been asking me to do an episode on managing anxiety. We are living in genuinely anxious times, and the real things to be anxious about are not in short supply. So here it is. For me, anxiety feels like unease. Like I am forgetting something. Like something is wrong, even when I cannot point to what it is. I have noticed a clear uptick in clients describing this...

This conversation with the incredible Dr. Paul Conti changed how I look at mental health. We've all been taught that we're driven by aggression or pleasure—but Paul reveals there is a third "Generative Drive" that is the actual key to our wellness. In this episode, we dive deep into his new book, What's Going Right. We talk about why we are so "lost" in negativity, how to move past the stigma of m...

Most little girls grow up being cared for by their mothers.  Some little girls grow up caring for their mothers. This episode is for the second group. We are talking about parentified daughters. What it means, why it happens, and how it may still be impacting your life now. Read the show notes for today's episode at terricole.com/829

I've always said that our relationships are the mirrors of our internal world, but what happens when you realize a friendship has reached its expiration date? In this episode, I'm joined by the incredible Alex Elle (New York Times bestselling author of The Company We Keep) to dive deep into the "taboo" side of friendship. We're talking about why it's okay to outgrow people, how to handle that "vis...

We talk about everything now. Trauma, therapy, childhood, the things that happened to us, and the things we are still working through. Almost everything is fair game. Except this one. When the relationship with your mother is a painful one, the cultural agreement is that you keep it to yourself. On today's episode, I'm sharing why that's a bad idea and what you can do to break the taboo. Read the...

Struggling with anxiety or overthinking? Learn the science of EFT Tapping for instant stress relief and nervous system regulation. In this episode, I'm joined by New York Times bestselling author Jessica Ortner to dive into her brand-new book, Rewired. Jessica reveals the science behind EFT Tapping and how it can literally lower your cortisol by 43% in minutes. We explore why your brain gets "stuc...

If you had a mean or rejecting mother, you probably learned early not to talk about it. People don't want to believe it. They say things like "you only have one mother" or "she did her best," and suddenly you're defending your own experience to someone who can't imagine having it. That isolation is often the first wound.  This episode continues the mother wound conversation from last week. While e...

Is it possible to heal when the person who raised you continues to cause chaos? In this episode, Terri sits down with journalist and editor Ashley Oerman to dismantle the stigma surrounding toxic family dynamics. Following the viral conversation sparked by recent national debates on family estrangement, they dive into the heart of a question many struggle with: Do you have to go "No Contact," or i...

Have you ever wondered if your relationship with your mother was normal? Or noticed patterns in your adult relationships and traced them back to something that happened long before you had words for it? Mother-daughter relationships can be among the most complicated we ever have. Whether the dynamic between you was loving, painful, confusing, or somewhere in between, it impacted you. After almost...

Is the "Male Loneliness Epidemic" actually a human connection crisis? I'm sitting down with clinical psychologist Dr. Morgan Anderson to break down why avoidant attachment is skyrocketing and how we can rebel against a system that keeps us isolated. In this episode, Dr. Morgan shares her personal journey from "relational trauma" to becoming a secure attachment expert. We dive deep into the rising...