The Swearwolves

Bret, David, and Alan discuss two horror films about pissed off primates going apeshit: Monkey Shines (1988) and Shakma (1990).

Still licking the wounds from their ill-fated Thanksgiving episode, Bret, David, and Alan go in for seconds as they discuss Feast (2005) and Feast II (2008). Will this serve as a palate cleanser, or are they merely gluttons for punishment? Put some extra whip cream on that slice of pumpkin pie, would ya?

The Swearwolves are incredibly thankful for all of the great movies they’ve been blessed to watch for the podcast. This week’s episode, however, serves as a reminder that really, really bad movies also exist. So hold your favorite horror films extra close this holiday, as Bret, David, and Alan are forced to gobble up Poultrygeist (2006) and Thankskilling (2009).

Bret, David, and Alan put on their ponchos, lay some newspaper down on the floor, do tequila shots, and get drenched in blood while discussing Dead Alive (1992) and The Babysitter (2017).

Bret, David, and Alan hop in a time machine and head back to the 70’s, where they witness Bret’s birth (gross!), catch the world premier of Star Wars (sweet!), and watch two horror films: The Devil’s Rain (1975) and The Sentinel (1977). To find out what they thought of those last two movies, you’ll have to wait until 2019…

Pop your favorite Johnny Steele tape in your boombox, light a firecracker, and (if you’re The Wolf Man) put on a cup as Bret, David, and Alan blast, punch, and kick their way through Critters (1986) and The Monster Squad (1987)!

Hello, darlings! This week, The Swearwolves sit down and talk about one of their favorite icons – horror or otherwise: Elvira (Cassandra Peterson). From her time hosting Elvira’s Movie Macabre on the boob tube in the 80’s (and again from 2010-2011), to Halloween-themed commercials, and three pinball* machines (one of which is owned by two different Swearwolves), Peterson’s...

Bret, David, and Alan discuss two films that play on the tropes of the slasher and found footage sub-genres, respectively: Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006) and Found Footage 3D (2016). Run as fast as you can (the killer will just walk and catch up to you), and no matter how scared you are or how much danger you’re in, keep your camera rolling!

Bret, David, and Alan discuss two Italian sci-fi/horror schlock films directed by Bruno Mattei: Robowar (1988) and Shocking Dark (1989). Now, all three Swearwolves love Italy, but they’ve historically disagreed when it comes to the topic of Italian cinema. Will these movies, blatant ripoffs of iconic American films, fare differently? Break out your pocket translator and garage door opener, a...

Bret, David, and Alan weigh in on two films from legendary filmmaker, Dario Argento: The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970) and Phenomena (1985). The last time Italian horror was discussed (ahem… Episode 44), Bret and Alan got into it. Will this go-around be different, or are we primed for another showdown with David stuck in the middle? *looks at title of episode* Ah…

Brew a pot of coffee, crush some Red Bulls, and down a handful of caffeine pills: it’s Freddy vs. Freddy this week, as Bret, David, and Alan discuss the classic 1984 Wes Craven film, A Nightmare on Elm Street , and its 2010 remake.

Bret, David, and Alan recap their recent trip to California, where they hit up Son of Monsterpalooza in Burbank, and Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios Hollywood. Then they board Captain Spaulding’s Murder Ride for a discussion of Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses (2003), The Devil’s Rejects (2005), and 3 From Hell (2019).

Klaatu barada… nnnn… nnnnnnn… never mind! Celebrating their official one year anniversary as a podcast, Bret, David, and Alan drink beer, recite incantations, and inadvertently awaken the army of the dead. Groovy! As they cower in fear, they discuss two cult classics from director Sam Raimi, featuring Bruce Campbell: Evil Dead II (1987) and Army of Darkness (1992).

Get your pencils, books, and javelins ready, kids! This week, Bret, David, and Alan watched (well… mostly) two high school themed 80’s slasher films: Slaughter High (1986) and Return to Horror High (1987). Did they enjoy them, or was it like getting a three-hour swirly?

Whether you’re donning a top hat and a monocle, or rocking leather S&M gear, The Swearwolves have you covered in this week’s episode! Pull your head out of your butt and open your third eye as Bret, David, and Alan discuss two films associated with producer/writer/director Brian Yuzna: From Beyond (1986) and Society (1989).

Bret, David, & Alan knock back some adult beverages and discuss a pair of, ahem, ballsy horror films directed by Don Coscarelli: Phantasm (1979) and Phantasm II (1988).

Bret, David, and Alan discuss a pair of killer robot movies from 1990: Class of 1999 and Hardware .

Hold on to your beer, grab a slice of pumpkin pie, and pass the cranberry sauce as Bret, David, and Alan serve up a pair of classy horror films from 1987: Blood Rage and Blood Diner .

Clutch your pearls and keep your arms, legs, and feet in the vehicle at all times, as Bret, David, and Alan break down the 2007 Robert Rodriguez/Quentin Tarantino throwback double-feature: Grindhouse .

Bret, David, and Alan discuss a pair of body horror films from director David Cronenberg: Videodrome (1983) and The Fly (1986).

Fresh off meeting Tom Atkins at Mad Monster Party AZ, Bret, David, and Alan discuss two Atkins-featured horror films: The Fog (1980) and Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982). They also award one lucky Twitter follower with a Trick-Or-Treat Studios Silver Shamrock skull mask, signed by the man himself!

Bret, David, and Alan discuss the first two films written and directed by horror auteur, Jordan Peele. Are we bearing witness to the emergence of the next master of the genre? Buckle up for a long and serious* episode about Get Out (2017) and Us (2019)! *by The Swearwolves’ standards

Bret, David, and Alan brush up on their Italian and discuss (in perfect English) a pair of films produced by Dario Argento and directed by Lamberto Bava: Demons (1985), and its 1986 sequel, Demons 2 . The Swearwolves are typically on the same page when it comes to their thoughts on movies, but this is not such an episode. Get your popcorn ready!

Bret, David, and Alan have a long-overdue discussion about a couple of classic Universal monster movies: Frankenstein (1931) and The Wolf Man (1941)! Do they stand the test of time? The show wraps up with an announcement about how a lucky Twitter follower can win a Trick Or Treat Studios Halloween 3 skull mask, signed by Tom Atkins! Want in? Just follow @TheSwearwolves on Twitter, like and re-twee...

Having already discussed The Thing in Episode 4, Bret, David, and Alan delve into the second and third installments of John Carpenter’s “Apocalypse Trilogy”: Prince of Darkness (1987) and In the Mouth of Madness (1995).