The Swearwolves

Bret, David, and Alan are reliving the same day over and over until they make the perfect episode about Happy Death Day (2017) and its sequel, Happy Death Day 2U (2019). They continue to fail in that effort, but it’s okay because when they wake up in the morning, it’ll be today again and they’ll just start over. See you next week… maybe .

For their fortieth episode, Bret, David, and Alan make a list of everyone who’s ever wronged them, and discuss two revenge-themed horror films that were released forty years apart: I Spit on Your Grave (1978) and Mandy (2018). While this episode deals with what is likely the heaviest topic The Swearwolves have ever tackled: rape (hopefully you’ll agree that it was done with careful reg...

Bret, David, and Alan head back to the 90’s to discuss Wes Craven’s 1996 genre-reviving slasher, Scream , and its 1997 sequel, Scream 2 . Can you handle that, Blondie? SKIP THIS EPISODE AND WE’LL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!!!

Put on a smock, because things are about to get gooey! Bret, David, and Alan discuss a couple of 80’s films with viciously viscous antagonists: The Stuff (1985) and The Blob (1988).

Bret, David, and Alan blast off into outer space, rid themselves of the burdens of clothing, and discuss Tobe Hooper’s 1985 extra-terrestrial vampire flick, Lifeforce . Then they crash down to Earth (fully-clothed, to comply with prudish societal norms) for a chat about John Carpenter’s 1998 stake in the vampire genre: the aptly-titled John Carpenter’s Vampires .

Bret, David, and Alan discuss two films that subverted the tropes and clichés of horror films set in the great outdoors: Sleepaway Camp (1983) and The Cabin in the Woods (2012).

Bret, David, and Alan hug each other’s faces, slather themselves in mud, and discuss two films about pissed off extra-terrestrials that will forever be linked: Alien (1979) and Predator (1987).

Hello, creeps! Bret, David, and Alan are joined this week by their friend, Adam, to discuss two Tales from the Crypt films: Demon Knight (1995) and Bordello of Blood (1996).

Break out the peeps and jelly beans (an epipen probably wouldn’t hurt either): Bret, David, and Alan celebrate Easter with a discussion of Candyman (1992) and the 2016 anthology film, Holidays .

Bret, David, and Alan discuss two starkly different films featuring Dee Wallace: Joe Dante’s classic 1981 werewolf flick, The Howling , and Rob Zombie’s The Lords of Salem (2012). They also recap their trip to Monsterpalooza 2019, where they met Bruce Campbell, Paul Reubens, Barbara Crampton, Chris Sarandon, Ken Page, Danielle Harris, James Jude Courtney, Allan Trautman, Pollyana McInt...

Roommate’s cat dead? Did you accidentally run your girlfriend over with a remote control lawnmower (even though she totally could have gotten out of the way)? Involuntary manslaughter got you down? Rest easy, friends! Bret, David, and Alan are here to discuss two cult films about bringing the dead back to life: Re-Animator (1985) and Frankenhooker (1990). The festivities conclude with a read...

Bret, David, and Alan break out the whoopee cushions and dribble glasses, and discuss the 1986 film, April Fool’s Day. Then they fire up some trick candles and talk about 1981’s Happy Birthday To Me .

Bret, David, and Alan slash their way through the 2009 remake of Friday the 13th , and honor daylight saving time by winding back the clock to revisit the original 1980 film.

Bret, David, and Alan introduce a giveaway*, howl at the moon, and discuss two werewolf movies: Ginger Snaps (2000) and Dog Soldiers (2002). David injects a touch of class into things by regaling his fellow wolves with his own horror-film-inspired haiku poetry. They laughed and they cried. Enlightenment was attained. It was lots of fun. The preceding paragraph was, in fact, a haiku. *to enter, sen...

Don’t look… don’t listen… and please: shut the f*** up! On second thought: go ahead and unplug your ears – you’ll need those in order to hear this episode. Open your eyes, too – especially if you listen to The Swearwolves while driving. And stop being so quiet; it’s creepy! You know what? Just ignore the first sentence of this episode description alt...

Pack a flashlight, a camera, and a bottle of Purell: Bret, David, and Alan head underground to discuss two subterranean creature features: C.H.U.D. (1984) and The Descent (2005), and finish up with a quick game of “Name That Tagline.” This tangent-filled episode goes down many paths, so happy spelunking!

Bret, David, and Alan discuss David Fincher’s 2007 film, Zodiac,  and the 50+ year case on which it’s based. They also talk a bit about the 2019 Netflix documentary miniseries, Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes .

Bret, David, and Alan each chose a movie they felt was underrated, and had their horror cohorts watch and dissect it. Alan picked 1981’s The Burning , Bret selected 2003’s High Tension , and David went with 2015’s The Final Girls . Did they all agree that these films are indeed, underrated, or are they all full of crap?

Turn off the light… stay away from the light… come to the light… hey, it’s your life; stop being so wishy-washy and make a decision. In this episode, Bret, David, and Alan discuss three ghostly films: Poltergeist (1982), The Frighteners (1996), and The Conjuring (2013). You’ll laugh (please do). You’ll cry (oh, please). You’ll crap your pants in fear (plea...

Bret, David, and Alan discuss what is widely considered to be the greatest trilogy of zombie movies ever committed to film: George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead  (1968), Dawn of the Dead (1978), and Day of the Dead (1985). Romero went on to make three more “Dead” movies before passing away in 2017 at age 77. Those films will no doubt be discussed i...

Bret, David, and Alan take a slight detour from their usual format, and talk about collecting stuff. They also play a drunken game of Trivial Pursuit: Horror Movie Edition, and discuss the 2009 film, The Collector.

In this episode, Bret, David, and Alan discuss three cult 80’s horror flicks with similar titles: Night of the Comet (1984), Night of the Creeps (1986), and Night of the Demons (1988).

Bret, David, and Alan create a beer broth, break out a crock pot, and feast upon three cannibal-themed films: Cannibal Holocaust (1980), The Green Inferno (2015), and Bone Tomahawk (2015). If you’re squeamish – no worries: this episode features no video. So lend a hand and start chopping up some carrots, would’ya?

Drop that copy of Batman #14, draw yourself a bubble bath, and dissolve into mist as Bret, David, and Alan chat about The Lost Boys (1987), Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992), and other fangtastic flicks in this week’s episode of The Swearwolves! The Lost Boys (1987) The Lost Boys (1987) The Lost Boys (1987) The Lost Boys (1987) Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) Bram Stoker’s Dracula...

Brush up on your pole-vaulting skills, fashion a makeshift flamethrower, and break out your favorite Air Supply album: Bret, David, and Alan are, like, totally buggin’ as they discuss “creepy crawly” movies like Tremors (1990), Slither (2006), and Arachnophobia (1990). Tremors (1990) Tremors (1990) Slither (2006) Slither (2006) Arachnophobia (1990) Arachnophobia (1990)