The Sober and Happy Podcast

Most people don't have a plan for getting sober and simply try to wander through life.  They just decide one day today is the day to get sober.  They might kind of know where they want to go, but do not have directions on how to get there.  They simply wander around hoping that one day they will find a place where they are in a life free of their addiction.   Then when things get painful or e...

When you try to change everything at once, you will get overwhelmed, you give up,  and nothing ends up changing.  So how much should we change at the beginning, and how do we pick and choose what to change?

In this episode, I want to talk about whether you need to give up your old friends and other things in your life when you get sober.   I know many people struggle with giving up the people, places, and things that existed in their old life. One of the most common questions people ask me when they are first sober is whether they can still hang out with their friends that they partied with, can they...

Today we are going to talk about the biggest mystery in recovery that almost all of us alcoholics have tried to solve.  I believe people have been trying to solve this riddle since the first time someone figured out how to brew alcohol.  And that mystery is: Is it possible to ever be a normal drinker?   Have asked yourself any of the following questions: How can I control my drinking?  Am I an alc...

One of the more common questions I see on various recovery forums online is “Can I get sober without AA?”  Having spent several years in the beginning of my sobriety in AA and watching the majority of people that come through the doors not stay sober, I have to wonder if we are asking the right question.   I have spent many years struggling in AA, many more years researching some of the reasons wh...

How many times have you heard or even said something like this? Today I lost my job and don’t know how I am going to pay my bills.  I am not sure I can get through this without having a drink.  When we have that mindset, we set up conditional sobriety on the impossible task of nothing ever going wrong.  To live truly sober and happy lives, we must accept and even embrace our challenging times. If...

Are you planning on doing a new years resolution? Maybe you are still struggling with your recovery journey and this is the year you want to get and stay sober.   Maybe you have put together some sobriety time, yet are not satisfied with some other areas in your life, and want to improve on something else.   Maybe you are absolutely killing it right now, and want to keep that momentum so you want...

In this episode, I want to talk about what to do if you just relapsed.  Most of the focus around relapse is through relapse prevention methods and with that focus we tend to think all is lost if we did actually relapse.   I think the biggest thing you can do for relapse prevention if you have already relapsed is to shift the focus off of the fact that you relapsed to focusing on what you can learn...

In this episode, I want to talk about how our identities based on our past is often holding us back from our greatest potential in recovery and life.  So much of our identity when we get sober is based on what we think we are not capable of achieving.  We start picking up limitations when we are young from people and experiences in life.  Maybe we are told we are not smart enough, not talented eno...

Relapse.  The most dreaded word in recovery and the most misunderstood event also.  How many times have you talked to people who have relapsed and they can’t really tell you why?  They might talk about some general ideas of things that happened leading up to it or maybe they put themselves in a compromising position and were unable to resist when the sudden temptation hit.  But is that really why...

In this episode, I share practical tips to navigate a world filled with alcohol after quitting drinking.  Although it can be challenging to be surrounded by alcohol, especially in social settings, there are strategies to help. Rather than trying to avoid alcohol entirely, I've learned to accept its presence and focus on what I can control: my reactions and approach to situations involving alc...

Holidays can be challenging times.  When we have drank for so long, so many of the things that we do in life is associated with drinking and that couldn’t be truer for many of us than during the holidays.  Everything about the holidays for me revolved around drinking.  Partly because many of the people I celebrated with enjoy drinking, and partly because well I am a drunk so I managed to incorpora...

In this episode, we delve into the concept of rock bottom and its relevance to staying sober.  Many believe that hitting a dramatic low point is necessary to maintain sobriety, such as experiencing a DUI, losing a job, or facing legal troubles. However, simply having these external consequences doesn't guarantee long-term recovery.  I remember questioning my own rock bottom, comparing it to o...

In this episode, we dive deep into the transformative power of forgiveness. I share my personal journey of forgiveness and how it has played a pivotal role in my life. One crucial lesson I've learned is the importance of recognizing patterns. By understanding the repeating mistakes in our lives, we can break free from harmful cycles and find healing. I can't stress enough the significanc...

In this episode, I want to start the discussion on the importance of forgiveness and specifically tackling the difficult challenges of facing our past, acknowledging what we have done wrong, and the steps we can to do begin to start repairing the relationships that we have damaged. In my journey towards sobriety, I learned a powerful lesson in forgiveness from my friend Dan. After years of destruc...

In this episode, we dive into the concept of finding your purpose or "Why" for getting sober and the pitfalls of the common belief that you must get sober for yourself. It's crucial to understand why you started drinking, why you continued despite the negative consequences, and why you want to quit.  I share my own journey of initially getting sober to make my mother proud, even tho...

In the first episode of the "Sober and Happy" podcast,  I share my personal journey of sobriety and discuss the potential pitfalls of focusing too much on substances and the recovery model of avoidance.  We discuss my experiences of going through rehab and immersing myself in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), diligently working the steps, and actively participating in the community. Despite sta...

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