The Slumflower Hour

Is the pressure on to start a family? Feeling broody? Or maybe even experiencing that FOMO feeling as everyone around you is starting to have babies? You are not alone! In this episode, join Chidera as she talks about why you don't need to have kids just because you want to...and the ways we can all show up in a maternal role without having to commit to parenthood *cough cough* shout out to the au...

Are you a first born daughter who has been plagued by the perpetual sense of responsibility...even over the men you date? Has your first born daughter status evolved into a saviour complex? Do you feel like you need to be useful in order to be loved? Dear first born daughters, this one is for us! In this episode, join Chidera as she muses and reflects on her life and upbringing as a first born dau...

Have you been victimised by a Nigerian man? Are you too nice to the Nigerian men you date? (YES) Is there a lack of cultural awareness that impinges upon your ability to understand Nigerian men? However you resonate (or don't) with these questions, you'll enjoy this episode full of insight, banter and cultural context from a Nigerian woman, herself! In this episode, join The Slumflower as she disc...

Are you that friend who keeps calling your friend to complain about the same man you won't leave? Are you the friend who wishes your homegirl would get a grip and get over that man, so you can have your friend back? Or are you that woman who has exhausted all your friendships and has found herself isolated because you keep choosing men over self-respect? If any of the above resonate, this episode...

Do you find your neurodivergence interfering with your dating life? Have you found your rejection sensitivity makes you more prone to rumination? Has your constant masking made you more used to tolerating discomfort around men? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she discusses how her neurodivergence influences the way she navigates men. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a...

Are pick-me women simply misunderstood? Are things 'easier' with men when you let patriarchy run its course? What can women do to avoid becoming desperate? In this episode, join Chidera as she talks through all the reasons why picking men over yourself will always leave you short-changed and resentful - no matter how exceptional you think your situation is... Get tickets for my October 26th LIVE S...

Did you notice yourself almost falling for the botched dream being sold to you? Was it all stating to feel a little too good to be true? Has he switched up on you because his little game didn't work? Nothing hits better than that 'thank God I didn't fall for him' relief and in this episode, The Slumflower visits the various ways men become sassy and insufferable when their grandiosity backfires! G...

This episode was voted for by the patrons over at Patreon! If we can all agree that men are scary, then we can al agree that dating men should be worth our time, right? Join Chidera, as she chats through safety, self esteem and making men EARN your trust! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma q...

Do you fantasise about him coming back? Do you tend to develop limerence for men who leave you? Do you allow yourself to feel your anger in full? If any of these questions resonate with you, this episode might hit home. Join The Slumflower as she discusses why you should test men, why you need to stop 'healing' and why it's totally okay that you might not meet 'the one'. Join my patreon for access...

Are you an 'understanding girlfriend' who can't quite seem to get the words out when you're annoyed at him? Have you decided what your non-negotiables are in what you'll tolerate from a guy? Are you a 'free spirit' or are you giving your power away to men? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she plots out smooth and non-aggressive ways to be more assertive in the presence of men, while maintai...

So what's the fuss around dating providers? Why are women scared to date selfishly? Why do we slut-shame women who are upfront about their requirements of men who want to sleep with them, whilst we uphold and celebrate the women who settle 'in the name of love'? In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the concept of men being providers - and why we shouldn't let 'feminism' stop us from havin...

Do men deserve their loneliness? Do women make too many excuses for men? Can women develop the willpower to abstain from sexual and emotional reliance on men? In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the 'male loneliness epidemic' - and why we should all let men deal with this matter by themselves... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or...

If you finally feel ready to leave, this episode is for you. In this episode, join The Slumflower as shares tools on how to leave FOR GOOD, and what you can do to fortify yourself mentally...for when the storm inevitably comes. Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as answering your dilemma questions! Get my new book PO...

Where is the line drawn between leadership and control? Do 'alpha' men actually live up to their description? Why do women seek such traits in men? In this episode, join Chidera as she explores the myth of the alpha male - and why we should all interrogate our attraction to alpha men... Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as...

Is a person redeemable once you develop the ick for them? What does it take for a man to give you the ick? How can you tell when a man has gotten the ick for YOU? In this episode, join Chidera as we talk all things ick - including my biggest turn-offs that classify a man disqualified in her eyes! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave tha...

Is that man in a rush to marry you? Would he even make a good husband? Are you desperate to be wifed? In this hilarious episode, join The Slumflower as she chats through why a marriage proposal isn't always flattering - and what you can do to remove the power and pressure you have placed on the idea of being someone's wife! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on...

Do you justify tormenting yourself for the sake of having a 'good story' to tell? Are you impulsive and adrenaline-driven in your dating decisions? Have you found yourself living in the architecture of your own demise? Featuring TWO saucy stories, join Chidera in this episode as she talks through times when she's done it for the plot...and benefited from the wild spontaneity! ;) Join my patreon fo...

Are you easily swayed by a man's appearance? Do you find yourself being easily governed by the coochie flutters when you come across a cute man? Are you unknowingly giving away your power by putting emphasis on how attractive that man is, instead of how well he treats you? In this episode, join The Slumflower as she takes good-looking men OFF the pedestal! Join my patreon for access to more reveal...

Has that man become the sad cloud in your sky? Do you find yourself coasting along in this relationship out of guilt rather than choice? Do you feel responsible for this man's wellbeing? Baby...it's time to lift that burden and address the baggage you've taken on as your own! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide on whether to keep or leave that guy, as well as ans...

So the switch-up has finally happened...he's stopped texting you the way he used to; he's not really making plans to take you out anymore; you've had your first argument and he's surprisingly chilled and NONCHALANT?! *blocks your hand from hitting the panic button* Time to stay calm and quietly examine everything you have tolerated so far! Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 6...

This episode was voted for by my patrons on Patreon! After what started out as a simple evening of sharing some anonymous insight from sex workers about the hidden reality of married men, the conversation snowballed into an Instagram stories-based discussion, where women across age groups, marital status, professions and lifestyles, were sending in their truths about the ways married men cheat, li...

Is 'that's just how I am', your default response to being called out for certain behaviours that might be holding you back? Or is 'that's just how he is', your way of justifying that man's irresponsible behaviour towards you? Being a strict babe isn't for everyone but in this episode, we visit the various ways we can let go of the excuses and start observing our situations for what they really are...

What if the love you seek has already found you? Is self-love really the best love? Based on the awful reputation they have created for themselves, is there a limit to which we can involve men in our deepest dreams for the future? Much was covered in this episode! Join The Slumflower as she discusses why 'happily ever after' might already have happened for us and we haven't noticed... ;) Join my p...

Are you a 'one man' type of lover but you're curious? Has your boyfriend pissed you off beyond repair? Has the world convinced you that you're 'greedy' for dating more than one dude? If any of the above questions jump out at you, you're really going to dig this episode! Special shout-out to the girlies that already get it. ;) Join my patreon for access to more revealing episodes, a 65-page guide o...

Are you a woman who struggles to forgive men? Do people make you feel like you hold grudges for too long? Are you a recovering pushover? If any of the above questions resonate with you, pay attention to this episode! In this discussion, join Chidera as she runs through all the reasons men don't deserve to be forgiven so easily, and the ways women sabotage themselves by handing out the benefit of d...