The SelfWork Podcast

Today we’re focusing on the tools necessary to help you listen and "how to be there” for someone else. We'll discuss what it’s like to listen to the stories of those who trust you to create a safe space for them to talk – and what it means to “be there” for someone. What it’s like to hear things that are very hard to hear. And what it’s like to carry on with your own life as you do so. I’m...

How would you answer the question, "How's your mental health?' If you watched the Olympics, you saw Simone Biles not only succeed wildly, but demonstrate to all the world how important maintaining her mental health has been to her. She talked openly about regular therapy sessions and the meditation practice that you could see her doing between competitions. Today we’re going to talk ab...

How do you grieve a parent's death? Even older adults have told me they feel "orphaned" after both of their parents die. So imagine what can happen when a parent dies when a child is young . There are all kinds of reasons for that child to feel as if their life will never be the same - that the loss makes it impossible to recover their innocence or contentment. Today we'll hear fro...

Perspective is a gift. But most of us gain our perspective from years of living and learning. Life often hands us challenges that build that perspective and that wisdom. But not too many people have two catastrophic medical conditions to cope with – and certainly not two that occurred in the span of a decade. Lindsey Roy had just that. At age 31, Lindsey Roy was named vice-president at Hallmark Ca...

You have to acknowledge your depression in order to begin to talk about it. That may sound simple to do. But it's not quite so simple. Why? Because nobody particularly wants to realize or admit that your way of "being" has changed, without you trying to change it. And in fact, you may have become so accustomed to being somewhat depressed, that it can lull you into thinking, "Well,...

How do you thrive with anxiety? Dr. David Rosemarin is our guest today who talks specifically about how to understand your anxiety as something that can help you thrive - when you work with it, and not against it. David is the director of the Spirituality and Mental Health Program at McLean Hospital. And he's an associate professor of psychology in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medic...

Today we're focusing on the lasting impact of trauma. Many of us are quite good - or efficient is perhaps a better word – at avoiding and denying and building a façade that’s rock solid around you… that no one would guess that trauma had every occurred in your life. Or how it could be affecting you now. I have a story for you that will illustrate how easily it can be affecting you in ways that...

What do you do when you hit a wall? And what IS that wall anyway? How often are you able to recognize that that’s what’s happening? Some of you might quickly say, “I can’t hit a wall. I’ve got too many responsibilities. I need to make money. I need to keep going no matter what.” The three walls we'll focus on today are exhaustion, self-doubt, and saying, "I don't know" or "I ne...

Perfectly hidden depression can end in tragedy. I don’t quite remember when Penny Gray and I first talked. It was after 2019 when PHD was published. But not long after. She’s the widow of a man, Dave, who tragically fit the rubric of perfectly hidden depression. She tells the story in this interview about how she happened upon the term "perfectly hidden depression" when she was seeking som...

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is a fast-growing therapeutic model that I wanted you here at SelfWork to know more about. So, I reached out to Dr. Diana Hill who's an expert on the technique and a firm believer/practitioner in what it has to offer. ACT seems to offer safety and structure, which of course is vital in therapy . I found her to be very real, approachable, and caring as sh...

Cyclothymia, compartmentalization, and Taylor Swift don't seem to have much in common. But they're sharing this episode of SelfWork! And both are in response to listeners' questions and comments! Cyclothymia is another one of those more unusual depression diagnoses (like we covered last week with PMDD) and one that doesn’t get much attention as its more dramatic cousins, Bipolar I and...

What is Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder or or PMDD? We're going to focus today on what it is and what it's not, who suffers from it, how early can it emerge, why is it so misunderstood, misdiagnosed, or even ridiculed (which of course makes seeking treatment much harder). And, as always, what you can do about it. This episode is in response to a listener's Instagram message to me about...

Marjorie Aunos' story is not one you'll forget. In one second, she went from being an able-bodied mom to a disabled one. As a clinical psychologist, Marjorie developed the first program offering support for families headed by parents with intellectual disabilities in the province of Quebec, Canada. She fought for parents with intellectual disabilities to not be judged as “incapable” becaus...

Why don't you talk about your struggle with depression? You may have lots of reasons, or excuses, or justifications. But I found out by reading the responses on (what I'm honored to say) is a viral TEDx talk, "How to recognize perfectly hidden depression", that so many of us need to know that this struggle is common - and doesn't have to be hidden. Some of those reasons are: &#...

Do you feel guilty for not doing enough? Many people do... the problem is known as productivity guilt. But as always, there's something you can do about it. Today on SelfWork Dr. Margaret offers nine helpful reminders that can guide you away from this guilt, so that you can stay on task and realize your goals. Here they are: One : Attaining goals isn't immediate. It takes time. Two : You c...

Manifestation has been widely dismissed as self-involved, materialistic phooey. Now, James R. Doty, MD —a Stanford neurosurgeon,  New York Times  bestselling author,  and  Dalai Lama collaborator —reveals that  manifestation is rooted in science . Throughout his latest book,  Mind Magic.  Dr. Doty unveils his six-part plan for harnessing your mind’s power to change your brain structure   and recla...

We'll talk today about the interweaving of depression and knowing you matter (or mattering). In my FB group, someone asked the question, " Do you ever wish you were more important to someone than you are? Like, I know I’m important to some people but there are others where I feel like they are more important to me than the other way around and I feel bad about it. Thats sooooo stupid right...

Suicide is discussed in this episode. Here is the link to the suicide prevention text hotline .  "My bipolar disorder almost killed me." These are the words of Gabe Howard as he talked about his life with bipolar disorder. He's also an award-winning podcast host, author, and sought-after speaker. And he's someone that so many admire for his openness and knowledge around mental heal...

The Surgeon General Vivek Murthy has stated that there is an epidemic of loneliness in the United States and the World Health Organization has declared it as a pressing global health threat, with a mortality effect equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. In this episode, we’ll talk about loneliness, how simple acts of empathy can be vital to healing loneliness, and "the power of eight minut...

This week we're focusing on all of you who might see yourself or someone you love as being a HSP - or highly sensitive person. Given that 15 to 20% of the population is thought to “have” it – and I say that in quotes because it’s not something you have, it's something you are - it’s not an illness or a problem. It’s a personality trait. It characterizes you. It’s what people might say abou...

What do you do when your child is an addict? My guest on SelfWork this week is Ken Guidroz, author of Letters To My Son In Prison . He's a husband, father of three sons, a grandfather, and an ex-pastor. All three sons had struggles with drugs. But his middle son? For years, Lucas was a heroin addict. And he accidentally killed a man while driving high. And he ran from the scene. Ken takes the...

 This week we’re going to be talking about couples therapy – and what misconceptions keep couples away from trying it. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is when a couple comes in WAY before there’s a crisis. But most don't. And these misconceptions are often the culprit; these six misconceptions keep couples out of therapy which also acts to help them avoid vulnerability. What are some of thes...

From getting through divorce to illness to death, your life can be turned on a dime in a seeming second. And you need your friends and loved ones to understand that you’re grieving, and need comfort. But that's not always what you get. Sometimes, they say the wrong thing and at the wrong time. Maybe it’s laughable. Maybe it’s not. But often, either the most self-centered or ignorant or awkward...

Today’s SelfWork was inspired by feedback from members of my FB group when I asked for potential topics - and they suggested Answering Your Questions About Therapy . So.. what were the questions? 1) How to be real with your therapist about what’s not working... 2) Why do I want to feel that my therapist likes me? 3) How do I handle the fear that I’m “too much” for my therapist? 4) How to leave the...

Today, SelfWork is featuring Stanford psychiatrist Dr. David Spiegel , one of the world’s most respected and published experts in the field of hypnosis. And if you think hypnosis is some magic trick, you don't know what true hypnosis is. What’s often relegated as a sideshow is actually the oldest form of Western psychotherapy and a powerful evidence-based treatment for numerous disorders. Dr....