The SelfWork Podcast

Why is it so hard to treat eating disorders? We're going to find out today in this interview with Johanna Kandel, founder and director of the National Alliance for Eating Disorders. Kandel brings her own successful recovery from anorexia and bulimia to this interview whose message is that full recovery is possible. She's the author of book " Life Beyond Your Eating Disorder, but in her...

Today the focus is on doctors and depression, with Dr. Pamela Buchanan as my guest, in a second episode in the "Careers That Kill" series, discussing medical providers, the pandemic, and depression.   She's a board-certified physician, speaker and thought leader dedicated to transforming healthcare and championing mental well-being. She’s a TEDx speaker known for her powerful talk on “...

What is optimism fatigue? Is it a new a kind of depression? In this episode of SelfWork, I’m thinking aloud a bit with you … if what we’re experiencing is a new kind of depression – one that’s mixed in with anxiety and fatigue. What’s it called? Optimism fatigue. It may not be diagnosable, but as I’ve considered my own situation, I realize that I’m having to dig a little deeper to find comfort tha...

What was your "job" in your family? Most of us love to take tests like the Enneagram or the Myers/Briggs to find out what the test might have to say about our personality style or our strengths and vulnerabilities. But something you might also gravitate to – in thinking about what’s called your family of origin – or the family you grew up in – is talking about the roles each of the childre...

What are seven good reasons to stop therapy? That's the focus of this week's SelfWork! It’s often a very moving moment when you leave therapy. Here’s someone that you’ve trusted and confided in for weeks or months – or sometimes even years. And it’s time to walk out of their office and do without that resource. As I like to say, it’s my job to do myself out of a job. And I celebrate with p...

The focus today is on what I call "the shame and self-blame game." One listener told me recently that she wondered for a long time - “Did I allow my abuse?” How many of you feel to blame for your own abuse? And does that very shame and self-blame make it even more important to keep what happened secret? You bet it can. It’s this irrational shame we’re going to tackle. Because you’re lookin...

We’re talking about sexual abuse today – to be more specific, the horrors of marital rape. Please if you have any kind of history of abuse which many of you I’m sure do – please listen cautiously as the facts of the case could be highly triggering for you. For international abuse hotlines please click here . You may have heard about the French woman, Gisèle Pelicot, who was the victim of multiple...

You Only Die Once , written by positive psychologist Jodi Wellman, has this very important message - being aware of your last moment can help you live this one more fully. She's a devout believer in not wasting the time you have, not spending this moment in dread or apathy. Statistically speaking, we're given four thousand Mondays in our lifetime to live. So savoring those moments, realizi...

 Today we’re going to talk about loneliness – and how one article I read drew some conclusions about it that made a lot of sense to me. One major point – we can’t or shouldn’t harken back to older times and think we need to create those now. That’s not the answer. Cell phones, virtual meetings or classes, working from home, pandemic hangover – none of that is going to go away. We’re not suddenly g...

We're announcing a new CBT app, the  Feeling Great App ! ! It's founded by one of the forefathers of Cognitive Behavior Therapy, David Burns MD . He's a renowned psychiatrist, and as we learn in this episode, a doctor who fought the odds to create a technique to treat depression that actually worked. Dr. Burns is the best-selling author of the books  Feeling Good   and  Feeling Great ,...

What are the gifts of saying no? The word that’s often used to talk about this is ‘boundary.’ Do you have trouble saying no? Or can you identify the how, when, where, and why to say no? Or put another way, when to say yes? We’ll focus on how much of your decision-making is affected by depression or anxiety, or even personality disorders that have a huge bearing on how you decide to say no. Our voi...

Acknowledging emotional abuse can be difficult but it's just as much "abuse" as its physical and sexual counterparts. I received an email recently that again brought to life the emotional cruelty that can be the reality of some children. In fact, his story reminded me of many others I’ve heard – of how someone in authority can be not just manipulative but emotionally abusive. The harm...

In this episode we learn exactly how couples therapy began. When you’re called “the couple from hell” by your own therapist, that’s something to think about. But Harville Hendrix and his wife of several decades, Helen Hunt, took that all in stride. They're the authors of the book “ Getting the Love You Want ” which sold millions of copies and put them, when it was published in 1988, on the top...

Today we’re going to talk about how to manage your emotions. Sometimes you might feel as though you can’t feel anything, other times that you feel too much and your emotions are leading you to the choices you’re making. Or you can feel that you’re stuck in a feeling – or you’re portraying an emotion to others that perhaps you don’t recognize or mean to (usually a case of ‘how’ you’re saying someth...

Today I'm answering your questions about depression, therapy, and manipulative moms. So, it's a grab bag of topics! Whether you're a SelfWork listener or you've read something I've written... somehow my work has reached you. And I love getting your questions! More specifically, we'll discuss what's called anhedonia in depression, or losing the enjoyment or meaning in ac...

This special episode of SelfWork will guide you to step into your inner power as we talk with author and personal branding expert... Jessica Zweig. I usually don’t have spiritual authors or leaders on SelfWork – not because I don’t believe in the importance of spirituality – but I’ve always kept my own spiritual beliefs more private from my work. This time, Ashley Stahl  - who not only has been on...

Do you know what hormonal replacement therapy is? Today's SelfWork guest is Donna White, an expert in bio-identical hormone replacement therapy. She's the recent author of " Hormone Makeover " and has also built an academy, The Bio-Identical Replacement Therapy Academy, that trains medical practitioners from all over the world about effective hormone replacement. Whether you're...

Today we’re going to talk all about blame. If you're one of the people who blame easily, if you find fault with everyone but yourself, then that's a huge problem. Or if you're in a relationship with someone who rarely if ever takes responsibility, they could be suffering with one of the Cluster B personality disorders, such as borderline or narcissism. Sadly, finding blame leads you to...

Today our focus is all about the safe psychedelic use of ketamine. And Dr. Steven Radowitz will be answering my questions. Sadly, the news of Matthew Perry’s autopsy report broke recently and revealed the absolute unethical behavior of the doctors responsible for prescribing ketamine for him. As the story evolves, in case it’s helpful, we wanted to share this content below for your consideration a...

Today I want to talk about how to find your purpose. One of the things I’ve been most grateful for in my life has been the sense of purpose that my work and my family have given me. And yet I know that many people don’t know what their sense of purpose is. I’m going to hope this episode helps you begin to find your purpose. The mantra of SelfWork is “what you can do about it” – and so I’ll offer s...

Today's topic is on the incredible power of journaling. My communications manager, friend, and "auxiliary brain" - Christine Mathias - has chosen this week's Second Time Around episode. Here's a quick introduction! I was caught off guard the other day when in my FaceBook group , I asked them to journal about a specific topic, and someone wrote that they didn't know what jou...

Do you know how to really listen? Well... you can learn. I'm out on vacation this week and my friend and incredible audio engineer John Crowley takes over the host spot, as he picks one of his favorite episodes from previous years. And this one is truly out of the distant past! Only the eighth episode I ever recorded. Wow, listening to it brought back so many memories! (Mostly how nervous I wa...

Today we're going to talk about suicide in construction in honor of Suicide Prevention Month. Dr. Vince Hafeli, a husband, father, and construction guy, tells his very personal story of becoming suicidal and choosing to come forward to talk about healing. Vince has been a leader in the construction industry for well over 30 years; his 2023 TEDx earned the #5 highest spot in the highest number...

What's a good enough parent? There were many times when I was actively parenting our child that I thanked a psychology researcher named Winnicott. When he was writing (decades ago...), mothers were blamed for everything - even autism was caused by a "refrigerator mom." Winnicott came along and let moms off the hook a little bit, saying that their caring – as long as it was good enough...

Today’s we’re going to focus on emotional detachment and distancing. I'll explain what it is and when it's healthy - and maybe even necessary - to do just that. I'm also going to bring forward a harsh criticism of a blogpost on unconditional love that I wrote years ago, after having the experience with parents and adult children needing to distance themselves from family, sometimes pai...