The SelfWork Podcast

I’ve long been fascinated by the connections between our minds and our bodies, so much so that I wrote my dissertation (the original research you must complete before they give you a Ph. D.) on pseudoseizures. What are those? They look like actual seizures -  which are bursts of uncontrolled electrical activity between neurons that can cause all kinds of movements and abnormalities in muscle tone,...

What risks do you run when you follow a quest for popularity or even celebrity? Envy is right at the top of the list, and today I'll offer 8 different signs that your need for external validation is running too high, and 6 more that reflect that envy has taken hold of your mind and heart. Envy is defined as believing yourself to be worthy of what you perceive others getting and your behavior t...

I use all kinds of stories and metaphors in therapy  to help people actually remember a point. I’m not sure when I started doing it, but there’s something about a story or a picture that cements or anchors an idea in your mind. Just think about in Forrest Gump, the famous “Life is like a box of chocolates” and you’ll understand. So today, I want to read you a poem that I use all the time in therap...

If you like SelfWork because we talk about "what you can do about it," this interview will be incredibly helpful to you! As a therapist who focuses a lot on how to move from negative, destructive thinking to much more positive, motivating self-talk - I've learned that HOW you talk to yourself highly influences what you actually do. I've asked people who are fighting viciously with...

Trigger Warning: References to Suicide ( International Suicide Prevention Resources ) After the shootings in New York, California and Texas within the last couple of weeks, I'm preparing an episode concerning mental health issues that may play a part in violent crime, but also - and very clearly - where they do not play a part. Hatred can be taught. Absorbed. It's very different than true...

My mom used to write T H I N K on my forehead as a child. Ugh. I hated that! ! But it was definitely her way of trying to teach me self-control, a skill that I didn't have much of as a child! Today we’re going to focus on three skills that are considered ego skills or what compose ego strengths. First is self-regulation or how you monitor and cope with your emotions. Second is self-control - h...

Warning: This episode could act as a trigger due to its topic. Please listen with caution. The murders in Uvalde, Texas this week may pull for many different reactions to such senseless violence. And the unbelievable but very real fact that children were once again targeted makes it even more devasting.  I humbly offer these suggestions to you to help you make sense and give direction to your own...

Where did you learn who Josh Peck was? Through his award-winning performance in Drake and Josh when he was a teen? Starring next to Ben Kingsley in The Wackness ? Or has it been more recently in Disney+ Turner and Hooch ? What I learned in this interview is that you likely didn't know who Josh was, because for years, he strenuously devoted himself to developing the Josh he wanted you to see. T...

I first found Amanda White on Instagram, as she's the therapist behind Therapy For Women - a popular Instagram mental health group. But then I learned more about her. Her book came out early in 2022:   NOT DRINKING TONIGHT:   A Guide to Creating a Sober Life You Love , where she calls herself a retired-party-girl-turned-therapist. She became sober herself in her early 20's, but speaks cand...

This is a very personal episode of SelfWork, as I tell the story of my mother's intense struggles with anxiety - and her turning to prescription drugs to help her cope. Sadly, doctors in the 1960's brushed off women with "nerves" and handed out medications that were not only strong, but addictive. And some women, like my mother, developed a prescription drug addiction. This is the...

Warning: There are references made in this episode to childhood abuse and suicidal thoughts/attempts. Please listen with caution. Here are international suicide prevention hotlines and resources . Lyn Barrett is a guest you'll never forget. She suffered from DID (which used to be called multiple personality disorder) and now manages a fully functional life, As part of her healing process with...

One of the hardest even most cruel things about depression is the very darkness of your thoughts – the hounding of your mind and heart with feelings that seem to have the power at times to wipe all rationale from your consciousness and bury you with shame and worthlessness, distrust, and complete disbelief that anything might ever change. So today we’re going to talk about those vicious lies that...

Today we’re doing something new! And it's the brainchild of the woman you're about to meet! Ashley Stahl is a counterterrorism professional turned career coach, spokesperson, and author of the bestselling book,  You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career .  Through her two viral TEDx speeches, her  online courses, and her podcast, the  You Turn Podcast,  she’s...

Three times this week I was asked, "Just how do I interview a therapist?" So... I'm going to give you fifteen very specific, concrete, and legit questions to ask a potential therapist. It's important of course to note how that therapist is answering you and does their manner of talking with you seem warm and engaging? I hope this helps with any confusion  you might have, or at leas...

What's a mental health day? Why should you take one? And how to answer the question, “What good will it do anyway? I just have to go back tomorrow….And I need the money.”  I’m going to give you some ideas of how to really use a mental health day to your advantage – and the problems inherent in many work places in “admitting” or ‘revealing” that’s what you’re doing. Of course, here at SelfWork,...

 This past month, I heard from a woman who identifies herself as manifesting covert narcissism and she’s looking for both support and information on how she could best address what she so desperately and sincerely wants to change in herself. She talks about the extreme lack of help out there- and she’s right. Sometimes we can forget as a culture that those we “label” as having a personality disord...

Here's today's You Get The Gist!  If you’ve been watching March Madness recently, hopefully you’ve seen the new commercials, sponsored by Powerade, supporting the power of pause. They feature premiere such as Simone Biles, Premier League soccer manager Antonio Conte and Olympic Gold diver Tom Daley as they take pause to relax and enjoy unexpected hobbies. Also featured are former NBA stars...

  This question came up in a couple of scenarios this week. So, I decided to go with the synergy of that and focus on the decisions surrounding self-revelation - or telling your story. Here's the question: “How do I talk to someone about what’s really going on with me? I’m scared they’ll feel like I’m dumping on them, I’m feeling sorry for myself. Or even worse, I’m scared they’ll take it on l...

A.A. Milne's character Winnie the Pooh -  Eeyore - the droopy eyed donkey who Winnie loves, has many famous quotes. But this is one of my favorites, especially when thinking about how to work through disappointment. "Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them." Disappointment is something we all have to work through. Yet it’s important to know that you can do it - because it'...

Today's episode is full of wonderful email questions from four of you and my answers! We'll cover someone who identifies with perfectly hidden depression and is doing trauma work... but things seem to be getting harder, not easier. Is that normal? A second listener writes in about how difficult it is for her to change habits - and down the rabbit hole she goes, into an emotional space she...

I loved this review of Talya Miron-Shatz' new book Your Life Depends On It (certainly an attention-catching title!) “People who expect to stay healthy forever need not read this wonderful book.  The rest of us should.  With a fine combination of humor, compassion and vast knowledge, Talya Miron-Shatz offers clear and useful guidance for the hardest decisions of life.”  Nobel laureate Daniel Ka...

Imagine my surprise when I heard of a great book I wanted to feature on SelfWork - and then discovered its author lived in my own hometown of Fayetteville, Arkansas! That book is You Are What You Click  and its author is Dr. Brian Primack. He holds a master’s in education from Harvard (with a focus on adolescent development, psychology, and education), an M.D. from Emory, and finally a Ph. D. in B...

I get a lot of questions about therapy - how to find a therapist, how to know if therapy is working. One of the most common questions is, “How do I open up?” But here was another and different kind of comment last week.  “Things I was only vaguely aware of, or knew, but was able to keep locked away from myself - have decided to pick the lock.” So, sometimes opening up can be a slow process while a...

Perhaps the most poignant messages I receive are the ones from people who love someone who's becoming less and less “like’ themselves – and are frightened about what’s going on. This week I heard from a wife whose husband..."has always had an excuse for his extremely busy schedule. Over the past several months he has been acting very differently and has been more open about his unhappiness...

I want to eagerly and deeply thank HealthLine for naming The SelfWork Podcast the "Best Overall Podcast for Depression!" Wow!! Thank you to my team and to you, the listeners! Talk about not being able to "do it without you"? We truly can't! So my gratitude to each and every listener... Today I'm going to catch you up on what I'm continuing to learn about perfectionism....