The Self Help Antidote

Send a text What are the attributes and unique abilities that define you?    You will never be as energized, or fulfilled as when you know your value.  Making a contribution to others by doing work you love may be one of the hallmarks of a successful life.  But what if you don't know what your unique areas of value are? In this episode Dr. Winifred Bragg suggests that you can learn a lot abou...

Send a text When we seek out change, what is it we are really after?  In this episode me and Tiff discuss changing for the sake of change vs. intentional change.   What makes people masters of change vs. victims of change?  What is the key to recovering from disappointments and setbacks, even becoming better as a result of them? More so, what is one factor that can make the difference between a st...

Send a text Are you perceived flaws actually a superpower? Seamus Evans would say yes.  He believes that adversity can either be a setback or a gateway. Seamus has been a stand up comic, radio and television personality, with quick wit and a passion for creating inclusivity through entertainment.    During the outset of the pandemic Seamus like many others found his world turned upside down.  He w...

Send a text What defines us?  Is it our environment?  Our relationships?  Or is it both of these?  Maybe its something more?   Aside from our usual banter and pontifications, in this episode me and Tiff discuss: Responding to feedback constructively Self-awareness and why it's critical Chasing superficial validation Addiction Narcissism  The power of our words  Why as a leader you should catc...

Send a text How much does our environment effect our behavior?  We believe that the answer is quite a bit actually.   People talk about the importance of using willpower as a vehicle for change.  While willpower is important, it often fails.  One reason why we say this is because long-term willpower is not nearly as effective a strategy as understanding your intrinsic reward systems, highest value...

Send a text We are always impacting the quality of our relationships; for better or worse, by design or by default.   Whether you are in sales, management, or own your own business, the most powerful resource you have are your people.  Nurture your relationships and like any good investment they will appreciate exponentially.  Make too many withdrawals and not enough deposits, and they will become...

Send a text What is the key to effective leadership?  According to CEO, author and entrepreneur Ryan Larson, it’s the ability to listen empathetically, learn continually, stay calm under fire and instill confidence in others.  One day, when a fire broke out at his place of work, everyone in the building was evacuated immediately.  As the fire department arrived, everyone stood in the parking lot l...

Send a text Play is not in fact a distraction from high performance in our lives and work, but a critical driver of it.  It’s crucial to our connection to one another, brain development, and imagination; stoking the creative flame in all of us.   Amidst reminiscing on childhood memories of growing up in Brooklyn (Me). and Tassie (Tiffanee), my childhood crush on the late and incomparable Olivia Ne...

Send a text If you buy a self help book written by someone else, does it defeat the point?   In this wildly tangential conversation, Tiff and I examine the efficacy of self help.  We also talk about the power of language and semantics.   Then we move onto the exploration of thoughts and understanding how what is meaningful to us is the foundation of our purpose.  What are the downfalls of being ov...

Send a text What if the thing that you perceive to be your greatest weakness is in reality your most powerful strength?   I used to believe that my Tourette's and physical deformities were liabilities.  In truth, I was ashamed of them.  While they have presented many challenges, some of which I still need contend with every day, in retrospect they are also the reason for many of the most beau...

Send a text One of our most basic human needs is belonging.  We are hardwired to be part of a tribe, once a survival instinct that kept us alive, that remains deeply embedded in our biology.   But belonging has a dark side... a shadow side.  How much does the drive to belong influence our beliefs, behaviors and perspectives, to keep us in good standing with our tribe?  Our tribe could be a workpla...

Send a text What is enough?  Regardless of what we are told we need to be, have or do, if our self-worth is not a product of our own intrinsic appraisal, based on our own deeply held values, no matter what we achieve or become, we will always feel as though we are lacking.   In this episode me and Tiff explore ideas around manifestation, affirmations and their validity.  We discuss the strategies,...

Send a text What is the value of an individual’s word?  How do we discern the authentic from the duplicitous?  In this episode Tiffanee and I discuss why you can’t always accept ideas as given.  When is the message true regardless of the messenger, and when do you seriously need to consider the source of information with scrutiny?   An example of this is acclaimed author Napoleon Hill.  According...

Send a text In this episode Tiffanee and I talk about some of the tools and resources that you can leverage (for yourself and others) to facilitate successful behavior change.   What are these tools, why are they important, and how do they work?  Further, we discuss the relationship between competence and confidence.   What are some effective strategies around how you can work towards achieving yo...

Send a text So, after a bit of banter around what’s in a name and “does Bobby have a legitimate job title?”, Tiff and I settled into a fascinating conversation around the inter-complexity of beliefs and behavior change.   Just like the conversation around the proverbial “what came first, the chicken or the egg?”, a popular debate in the self-help arena is “do beliefs influence our behaviors, or do...

Send a text Are the rules and attitudes we have around dating and relationships keeping us from being happy?   And, can we really be friends with our ex's?  These are among the curious questions that Tiffanee and me discuss around dating.   A few different questions we explore around this topic are: How many of us are dating a resume and ticking boxes, rather than the actual person?   How doe...

Send a text What lights you up?   What one change could you make in your life that would not only move you away from pain, anxiety, and frustration, but give you a sense of freedom, even rapture?  What is stopping you from already having what you want?   My guest for this episode is a brilliant, funny, energetic deep thinker, who can help you make meaningful changes in your life by engaging in suc...

Send a text Are you open-minded?  How you answer that question may be an indication.  In this episode Tiff and I explore the forces that shape how we see the world, many of which you may be unaware of.  We talk about how one person’s reality is not necessarily the same as another’s. One of the reasons why we need to appreciate paradox.     When we are willing to acknowledge that (although it’s som...

Send a text Are you repeatedly pre-occupied by thoughts that give you anxiety, cause you to worry, perhaps become angry?  Or do you just simply feel that you could use a bit of calm in your life? No, this isn't an advert about a new pill, it's about the subject of this episode.    Many people who have answered yes to any aspect of those questions have turned to Emotional Freedom Techniqu...

Send a text Learning and development isn't just about answering questions but provoking them.  The people who believe that they have all the answers, are probably the very ones who are not asking nearly enough questions.   Questions provoke our curiosity, they inspire as well as challenge us.  They help us to understand ourselves and others.  We may not have all the answers, yet we can be fie...

Send a text Henry David Thoreau once observed that "the mass of men live lives of quiet desperation."   It's that grey shadowy space of our existence where our unhappiness hasn't afflicted us so severely that we have this sense of urgency to change; but we can't help feel a lingering dissatisfaction.   Maybe your job no longer fulfills you?  You could be disenchanted in yo...

Send a text Sexy Messy: A practice for freedom, rapture and bliss What would your life be like if even during times of stress and uncertainty, you could experience a sense of meaning, freedom and presence?   Although in the end it can be beautiful, transformation is messy.  Yet, when you decide that transformation is not an option, but a devotion, even in moments of chaos it can be freeing, even r...

Send a text This week me and Tiffanee talk about the ego.  What is it?  How can a healthy ego benefit us and when can it get in the way, leading to unwanted consequences?  How do we keep our ego in check? We also talked about the line between self-compassion and the need for self-honesty.  When we feel stuck, sometimes the discipline to move forward is what's needed.   Yet, when times get rea...

Send a text “The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice.  And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice, there is little we can do to change; until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.”  - R.D. Lang What are two attributes that are most critical to leadership?   Having the awareness to know what type of leader you are, certainly is impor...

Send a text Ernest Hemmingway said that "the world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places."  This was a deep and at times painful episode.  Me and Tiffanee were in good spirits, relatively.  We recorded this episode on her birthday.  I had no idea.  Yeah, some friend I am.   But days before something happened.  It was likely the saddest day of Tiffanee’s entir...